Me Time!
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lee_yl\" post_id=\"1900375\" time=\"1551357073\" user_id=\"17023:
Ya. So sad. Some men hv been wired that way - to think in one small dimension of life.
Hubby’s good friend started off with a female colleague with harmless joking and teasing then both sort of developed further. That (married) woman told hubby’s good friend that her husband always played HP game and she felt neglected.Estéema\" post_id=\"1900354\" time=\"1551347939\" user_id=\"66413:
... but I rmbr a taxi driver used to tell me - so long as he earn money to feed the family, if he spend extra time & money just to hv fun & family don’t know, he believes he alr discharges his duty. What a jerk!
Hubby’s friend told hubby, he felt assured that he fulfilled his duty and he never neglected his wife because he brought her to the hawker centre to have breakfast with her!
I was like, :whut:
Yr DH shld hv told his good frd to advice that lady colleague of his to hv open conversation with her hubby abt being neglected. When spouses do not communicate then it’ll be downhill. But guess, yr DH’s good frd May Hv a ‘soft, kind heart’ not to resist her. Two wrongs do not make any right. Two selfish persons will not help build a strong marriage. Just realized the good frd must hv felt great having someone throw herself to him. Yikes! More ppl will get hurt.
For any one of us, to fulfil our wows & responsibilities as a spouse in a marriage, it shld mean every aspect - support each other emotionally , physically, health & spiritual areas.
I’ve been sharing with DH that our kids must know, a marriage, like life is hard work. If we do not work hard & only feed our senses then any relationship will get rusty. I’ve been training my kids to be responsible towards grandparents, maids, neigbours & even passerbys & not only sit unresponsive. But charity must begin at home. Priority to parents & spouse. Outer circles are frds & acquaintances in the event they hv to prioritize.
It’s hard to judge. I guess I just hope my kids learn the right values & build right attitudes to ready themselves for their future relationships. So, better I do my part as a parent to help them recognize right & wrong and learn resilience fr daily life. Make right choices & decline things that are just too easy to get.
The future I can’t tell how it’ll be but I do hope humanity still possess sense of decency. -
I think men usually gets more attractive as they age whereas women usually the other way round…so sad for the family members lor when affairs happened.
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laughingcat\" post_id=\"1900383\" time=\"1551361565\" user_id=\"3309:
Tell me abt it. Don’t be fooled that most of these relationships are underground. S’times these couples ‘flaunt’ their relationship & yet colleagues go thro life as if it doesn’t affect their work relationships.
Office affairs is real. :skeptical: Especially worse if those work on night shift. Caught one such couple who has affairs for such a long time. Even till todate, their spouse don't even know. :nunchuk:
It was added stress to me in one such organization when there were at least 3 sets of illicit affairs. S’times we see them taking initiative to be frdly with the other family’s kids & hug them at company Family Days! I felt so sad asking in ‘my heart’ silently - “boy, do u know the pretty aunty who showered you with plenty of gifts is actually yr family breaker & hv hurt yr mummy?” Sigh!
Then ano dutiful, plain looking wife with 4th baby-in-hand enjoying the company function with her kids digging in not know one of the female colleague of her hubby wld always hv a younger, eager to please lady keeping him company on daily evening jogs after office hours & often displaying her attention to him with drinks & wipes for his sweat! Yikes! What was he thinking? Isn’t he thankful for wife who worked, gave him 4 kids & yet he needs to look at others who wear skirts? In their genes? What BS!!!
Home-wreckers were everywhere & I was so stressed out coz they’ll come challenge me to grant their staff (g’frd) approved courses, benefits, etc. One female staff even came to test me out how I wld judge these relationships.
That was 20 years back. I wouldn’t be surprised these are still rearing its heart-breaking hits at normal & unsuspecting families.
Divorce rates hv not dwindled. At times, my hope rises when I hear of young ppl taking initiative to pledge virginity till marriage. But I think we’ve gotta work harder to train our boys to embrace concepts of shared responsibility & equality in h’hold chores & children’s upbringing. Hope the younger generation learn to co-parent.
Let’s face it. We’re not perfect as couples/parents in our generation itself. Not all our DH share nurturing roles to model life to our kids. There’s only a handful of fathers who wld take responsibility to coach kids daily for their studies. Not many DH wld bath our babies, clean up our kids or wash dishes even in a dual-Income h’hold. Hope our next generation more enlightened.
Yee, I realised I’m exposing my expectations of my kids. It’s tough to be my kids, but I hope my kids contribute to others’ happiness & bring less grief. I’m trying my best too lah, tho in a small way. -
Temptations are everywhere especially with Facebook and IG. I have many private messages to chat with me from males which of course I ignored and blocked.
Luckily my hubby do not use FB and IG. There are pros and cons in using these social media. Without these, I won’t get first hand info from food bloggers and fashion influencers etc.....
but on the other hand, there are too many beautiful people out there
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I m really old fashioned..I dont use alot of social media..dh been asking me to use Linkedln but am still hesitating...I enjoy ksp mainly..recently read the hardwarezone, I had a good laugh..dinobu, I learned a new word..my England not powderful but the English they used is so unique that sometimes really give cancer
joyymum, wah I see you really know how to enjoy life hor! -
Just recalled - DS have a frd who has modeled after parents with entire family adapt with social media. I was queuing & chatting with his dad when getting books for Year 1 (technically, the boys just completed P6 & I still consider them too young).
Yet, when I found him giggling & showing my DS what apparently was a girl on IG asking to befriend him, I asked what he’s giggling abt. His reply was this girl stalking him & trying to ‘date’ him out. So, I asked if she’s a good frd or someone he wld fancy chatting with. He said “don’t know lah, but she’s so cute, kept asking me out!” I quickly suggested if he’s not interested & she’s a stranger, better get offline with her. He won’t know if this is an older lady grooming him? :nailbite:
Anyway, kids start even in primary sch when parents eyes are on their own SM & not guiding their kids. Maybe that’s why kids feels bored (since parents no time to restrain or regulate their hp/SM use) and model parents do screen time lah. Like daddy & mummy mah. These boys mature real fast. Diff parents think good/bad based on their own yardstick.
I tend to extrapolate what/who my kids model after & cast their pattern for future. I tend to believe if kids learn discipline early the better they can manage their life before the glitzy world pull them different directions.
MKS : I’m also old fashion too lah. :hi5: -
Finally I have some time to log in and just read this. In my line of work, I often see another type of relationship that I sometimes don’t know if it is so-called a form of ‘emotionally’ 出轨？Some people view that emotionally 出轨is worse than physically 出轨？Like in all projects, that person will always be your key player to success ( be it good or bad thing) and you always lunch with that person and
will exchange texts and messages Everyday without fail and will always put that person first (be his adviser, buy her birthday lunch etc) Some says it is 互相利用各有好处、some says it is 红颜知己、and in one or two cases, one party is single and stayed single.
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Yes. There is those who err w/o physical relationships. That’s also a whole diff matter, yet it’s along the same line of selfishness & self-thot or self-regard. It’s still cheating on the spouse. Brings to mind some cartoons we see of lechery men looking & salivating at pretty sexy thing at a corner, w/o the guts to put into action, in case being caught, but will always be there w/o fail when opportunity to gasp at that so desired eye lollipop.
Some men claim its just their being male & they can’t control their natural response.
To me, emotional or mental desires w/o emotions involved (whatever they wanna call it) is still being unfaithful to the other spouse. In some religion, it is still adultery, albeit not manifested in physical act. That, it’s not up to me to know. I don’t wanna know. It’s up to the one who errs this way to come to terms with his own conscious & answer to his higher up. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1900400\" time=\"1551367123\" user_id=\"43981:
Wat is the meaning dinobu?
I m really old fashioned..I dont use alot of social media..dh been asking me to use Linkedln but am still hesitating...I enjoy ksp mainly..recently read the hardwarezone, I had a good laugh..dinobu, I learned a new word..my England not powderful but the English they used is so unique that sometimes really give cancer
joyymum, wah I see you really know how to enjoy life hor!
Hwz surprised me by their swearing ! Funny n crude there ... but their news is fast
Nowadays cannot believe real person is as pretty as social media photo - all look so smooth skin n glow - edited using photo app or android phone -
MyPillow\" post_id=\"1900410\" time=\"1551395991\" user_id=\"70594:
mp, my guess is fat lady lor..dinosaur mah..another word I learned is 'pxak' is vulgar and I used that as 'da da' (hitting) ..no more no more this word
Wat is the meaning dinobu?MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1900400\" time=\"1551367123\" user_id=\"43981:
I m really old fashioned..I dont use alot of social media..dh been asking me to use Linkedln but am still hesitating...I enjoy ksp mainly..recently read the hardwarezone, I had a good laugh..dinobu, I learned a new word..my England not powderful but the English they used is so unique that sometimes really give cancer
joyymum, wah I see you really know how to enjoy life hor!
Hwz surprised me by their swearing ! Funny n crude there ... but their news is fast
Nowadays cannot believe real person is as pretty as social media photo - all look so smooth skin n glow - edited using photo app or android phone yeah..the photos arh..many beautified too much I believe..
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