Me Time!

[Estéema]

EMA is like any other thotless, selfish acts of mindless inconsideration to the family which can break a family up and hurt the children.


It’s not honoring the marriage vows of going thro thick & thin or in health & in sickness.

I shared with kids, nephews & neices how some of my frds are modern fathers live up to honor their responsibilities to a marriage - by co-parenting as equal partners. It’s not easy for mothers to hv to juggle h’hold & raise plus educate children alone. So father’s shld be involved in teaching/educating, bonding and relieve wife to some h’hold & family life planning. Not saying arh, that mothers dump kids to husbands (I know of young selfish wives who does that to their hubbies bcoz they yearn kids to complete family. Not saying fathers alr tried fr work so shld be exempt. I believe only when fathers spend time & input to build father-child relationships then there are good bonding for life. I often hear dad’s are better in coaching Math & Sciences. So, it’ll be great to impart gems to strengthen yr children with the wives nurturing values & coaching the aesthetic part.

Of course there are small things that’ll delight a marriage and even to frds, as I witnesssed one of my frd who invited us for fun time to cook in his new kitchen. My frd was busy with her baby & we asked her if she’s got the chilli sauce & her DH immediately responded “don’t worry, I replenish them whenever they’re out” & search in the corner of his wet kitchen cabinet. Impressive next when he went in to help wives to clear those dirty diapers. Both were FTWP.

If men are not directed to be involved, then they’ll feel not needed. What else then can they do but look at their screen? Then when we look their way, we complain they’re neglecting us & not auto. Worst when they leave the home for a ‘breather’ to gamble or other stuff except be at comfort of home to be involved husband/father/son (to his mother).

I started drumming into the minds of our young ones in my family. It’s about expectations & communication. Hope it’ll help them in future. Well, just hoping. Don’t know if it does nor they’ll need to live that way. Maybe everything becomes robotic (child-care & h’hold all automated). Maybe don’t need my old fashion consideration, equality of shared responsibilities or what co-parenting liao. Just press buttons & baby all wrapped up. Couple BOTH hv time to look at screen. Then what wld married life be? Hmmmm…

[Estéema]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1900736\" time=\"1551518780\" user_id=\"17023:

Majority of the men involving in EMA, they have no intention of divorcing their wives.

There is another type. 奸夫淫妇 made up of a married man + married woman. Comes 5pm, both go back to their respective spouses like nothing happened. Friends with benefits

But sad to say, after a while, the woman tends to get emotionally attached but the man can treat as if nothing has happened.

You brot up a very salient point. Need to think about consequences. Need to think there is value in the marriage vows & how men are wired to separate emotions & act. Whenever there is EMA, inadvertably the female will feel she wants more or she’s not getting full entitlement in relationship & wants more, avarice for that woman’s hubby whom she fancies & inadvertently a home will be wrecked.

Same same. Men just can’t get away scot free even if no illegitimate children in sight. Playing around can mean disrespecting the party who will be hurt. It does mean not being fair to 小三 and own family. The other woman being led to believe she hv a part in his life can be driven to despair & what else? The wife same same and kids may be hurt & like DH’s colleague got snubbed by son & not reconciled even when grandchild is in sight. 有因就有果。

Ppl must think of consequences.

[starlight1968sg]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1900727\" time=\"1551516450\" user_id=\"17023:

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1900705\" time=\"1551509815\" user_id=\"14025:

[quote=12mum post_id=1900703 time=1551509230 user_id=109365]One can be a 黄脸婆, just dont be a 井底蛙的黄脸婆。

Like; am a 黄脸婆

Am also a 黄脸婆. The difference here is, you have a career (stable income) and network outside. I always think it is harder for SAHM to step out of the pain and try to be independent again after her life has been anchored around the house and kids for a decade (or more).

Just my sharing, you may not agree.

Any inheritance is a bonus and a will can always be changed easily when man has a change of heart. More practical thing to do is, have a house, car and enough cash under my name solely. I must think how my kids and I can survive henceforth. If you can’t even feed yourself, you have no chance in winning the custody of your children. I also don’t want to disturb my aged parents, asking them for help financially.[/quote]I agreed with your sharing. That is why I value financial independence very much and reluctant to give up my job despite am tired or at times feel like retiring.

[MyPillow]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1900694\" time=\"1551506745\" user_id=\"17023:

Joyymum\" post_id=\"1900644\" time=\"1551496428\" user_id=\"134876:

The Wife should live better than them no need to commit suicide.

我的前半生is very meaningful. The hubby cannot take the daily nonsense from the wife so he find the 小三 very attractive because they both work in the same office and find comfort in her. Interesting part is after he married the 小三 the same nonsense happens. So conclusion is couple usually will quarrel over the normal 菜米油盐. It doesn’t mean that once he married the 小三 life will be like fairy tale happily ever after

Oh, so this is similar to what I have watched 20years ago, HK comedy film 家有喜事（周星驰、吴君如 、黄百鸣）

The real life pressure over 柴米油盐 is very real. So the moral of the story is? Men should not mix wives and outside flings. He must be very clear what he wants.

The wife may be 黄脸婆, but she takes care of the household/kids well. An outside fling is just lust. When 小三 really becomes your wife, you get sh!t

Just joking lah, I am more interested to know how the wife gets over the Husband she once loved dearly.

Yes I remember 家有喜事 - better coz comedy - wu jun ru acted well !
I watched this Shanghai drama few times here n there then find it lor soh , Lots of conversation thus I dropped though my clerk like it too.
The drama written by yi shu .
I prefer heart warming show

[Joyymum]

MP,


I like their conversation/dialogue !
I find my mandarin improved leh coz their Chinese is not like our local drama short cut kind not cheem enough

I learnt a great deal by watching China drama. Language and culture. You realised that Wah SG suddenly becomes smaller. Shanghai and Beijing is big and modern not to mention the rest of China and the rest of the world.

DH travels a lot to Shanghai and Beijing Temptations are everywhere. :nailbite:
Of course if one wants to have EMA don’t need to travel so far la can happen anywhere

[MyPillow]

Ya my dh travelled a lot to Beijing n Shanghai few yrs ago too. He does not enjoy n like china trips -at all . The real Shanghai is scary - liberal women. Thank God , he left traveling job - we dun like biz travel job , disruptive to family life if both spouses are working .

Anyway the real Chinese culture vs drama is v different - they dun talk that cultured too
So u enjoy yan Xi too ? The dialogue is good as well . I m ok with the show but also dun like their long windedness.

[Joyymum]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1900752\" time=\"1551524627\" user_id=\"70594:

Ya my dh travelled a lot to Beijing n Shanghai few yrs ago too. He does not enjoy n like china trips -at all . The real Shanghai is scary - liberal women. Thank God , he left traveling job - we dun like biz travel job , disruptive to family life if both spouses are working .
Anyway the real Chinese culture vs drama is v different - they dun talk that cultured too
So u enjoy yan Xi too ? The dialogue is good as well . I m ok with the show but also dun like their long windedness.

Yes! I like Yan Xi! Can watched till 2-3am on some days

Now waiting for the release of 三生三世枕上书 to see the beautiful couple again

[MyPillow]

My Sec kid went Shanghai for sch immersion trip last year - he a teen also commented they are loud , rude - his sch mates got loudly yelled by hotel staff - the kids were shocked -this is China culture - never change. … u go Chinese Disney theme park, can see the “true faces “ … 文化教养… 在哪啊？

[Estéema]

China is huge. Just 1% speak culturedly is alr so much more than entire Spore.


Even within Beijing, as in England, there is difference with 王府井内 & 王府井外 spoken Mandarin language. When I first had my regional job to China, I met many loyal Chinese who wld not be enticed to leave China for career change opportunity coz they value family & wish to contribute to China’s development (that’s in the 80s). Yet in my first week walking on the streets of Shanghai, I had my Spore passport lifted off. They were so skillful that I only felt a slight movement (not really specific just a hunch) & when I turned round, my bag was slightly unzipped, nobody was within 100m sight, but my ppt gone. I realized even if 1% of shoplifters, well be overwhelmed by the numbers. So, managing my offices with all HOD of Sporeans, somehow cannot aviod any of our HODs falling prey. I had to constantly occupy our HODs (exp those who do not hv their spouse in Spore) in various ways in hope to limit abberatuons of local temptations. Not easy for Shanghai but easier for 2nd tier cities.

[Joyymum]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1900757\" time=\"1551525419\" user_id=\"70594:

My Sec kid went Shanghai for sch immersion trip last year - he a teen also commented they are loud , rude - his sch mates got loudly yelled by hotel staff - the kids were shocked -this is China culture - never change. .. u go Chinese Disney theme park, can see the “true faces “ ... 文化教养... 在哪啊？

Lol my children and I are actually very scare of going to places with PRC and Indian because on few occasions we were stucked with them during our cruises and trips and from then on, we try to avoid. Loud, rude and they treat ppl as invisible , likes to cut Q ignoring advices etc....

I dare not go to HK Disneyland again after been there ages ago with the PRC everywhere

But I am still attracted to their drama ha ha :rotflmao:

Ps: not all PRC and Indian behave in a bad manner. All races have their fair share of good and bad