Me Time!

[lee_yl]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1904112\" time=\"1553753799\" user_id=\"70594:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904107\" time=\"1553752794\" user_id=\"17023:

I don’t know leh. At 60s, not for the physical intimacy but for companionship? I am someone who constantly need someone to talk to at night before sleeping. When I am in 60s and can reasonably live to my 80s, that’s another 20 years! No wonder my MIL was caught talking to herself many times.

Just now while having lunch, one ah pek sitting next to me was with a PRC auntie. The PRC auntie kept asking uncle to buy this and buy that. No wonder govt scared uncles would spend all their CPF at Batam. Everyone needs some companionship, I suppose.

good that u know n \"see\" your needs ..
hmmm... for 60s woman - got people want meh? also need spend $ to look for xiao xian rou .... :rotflmao: ( abit gross ..yeeks) the 60s/70s yo ah peks may look for younger woman in 40s, 50s etc chee kor ones look for 20s/30s prc, Vietnamese
i do know a case , uncle is more than mid 60s now , after spouse passed 10yrs ago , he found an auntie (single) in mid 50s , both local n get married.

I think no need to confuse xiao xian rou with old age companionship. Why women in their 60s must fork out money to look for xiao xian rou leh? Can’t it just be an uncle (whose spouse passed away or a divorcee), looking for companionship? Something like what Funz just shared

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Don't feel sorry for me! I'm not sad at all! Of course I miss her a bit, but I'm happy that she's having all those great growing-up experiences and benefiting from them. And we get to share them a bit as well through her Insta posts and Skype chats. Like MKS, I was \"let go\" at 19 and went overseas to study too, and I'm glad that my daughter can enjoy that kind of experience. I would be even happier for my older daughter if she were able to grow the same way, but that's another story.

For Janet, and other SAHM with teenagers, it's really important to develop your own social circles, interests etc. Maybe learn some new skills, do PT work, volunteer, rediscover activities you can do with your husband, especially look for things you can expand as your time allows. Your children may still need you now, but you can start weaning them off having so much attention. That way, you don't experience a sharp break when they finally leave home. And your children will be relieved of the burden of knowing that they have a depressed mother at home.

Since returning to Singapore nearly 6 yrs ago, I have taken on PT and freelance work, and gradually increased my time outside the home as well as the time I spend working. I'm not doing the same kind of work (related, but different) as I was before I became a SAHM, so I guess you can say I'm re-inventing myself to some extent. It's a good feeling to be able to move on to another phase of life, knowing that we've done (what we hope is) a good job with our kids and they are ready to be independent and eventually raise their own kids.

The empty nest is a normal part of life's progression. If we have raised our kids well, we will never lose them even if they don't live with us. We just have to adjust our lives according to the circumstances.

[janet88]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1904073\" time=\"1553740266\" user_id=\"14025:

It is a feeling of emptiness; returning home which is an empty nest; loss of motivation or sense of direction. It takes quite a while to get used to it.

my life has been revolving around them since the day my first one was born...yes, born with that cleft lip and palate, it was all about him, running around KK seeing this doctor for the condition and ENT doctor for the ears.

next year he will be enlisting for NS leaving the younger one at home. she may be a girl but a feisty one, complete opposite of her brother.
I do need to keep an eye on her especially when she enters poly. this one has been a chilli padi since p1...and after hearing what my son tells me about his poly classmates, I know I would have to monitor her even more.

we want ME TIME, but not all the time.
we yearn for time away from the kids, but when we are away, we miss them and wonder what they are doing.

[sharonkhoo]

janet88\" post_id=\"1904142\" time=\"1553777734\" user_id=\"12950:

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1904073\" time=\"1553740266\" user_id=\"14025:

It is a feeling of emptiness; returning home which is an empty nest; loss of motivation or sense of direction. It takes quite a while to get used to it.

my life has been revolving around them since the day my first one was born...
we want ME TIME, but not all the time.
we yearn for time away from the kids, but when we are away, we miss them and wonder what they are doing.

That's why it's good to prepare early and gradually increase the amount of time involved in our own activities, not on the kids. Try to avoid sudden changes which can be hard to take. Once you are used to some time away from the kids, increasing the amount will be easier.

[janet88]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904101\" time=\"1553751174\" user_id=\"17023:

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

we have been staying at our new place for just 9 months.
guess what, he is already thinking of downsizing :faint:
I told him, 'no way. I'm enjoying the shiok feeling of a new flat. it was so hard to get it.'
then he told the kids to apply for flats in Tengah when they get married. he will tutor and send the grandchildren to and fro. :roll:

[starlight1968sg]

Janet

You may change when your kids grow up. It is better to hv a small empty than a big empty nest

[MrsKiasu]

slmkhoo, you have planned well…could manage all the transitions smoothly.


leeyl, agree with you lor it is the companionship no much of xiaoxianrou or wat la…

[MrsKiasu]

janet88\" post_id=\"1904145\" time=\"1553778307\" user_id=\"12950:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904101\" time=\"1553751174\" user_id=\"17023:

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

we have been staying at our new place for just 9 months.
guess what, he is already thinking of downsizing :faint:
I told him, 'no way. I'm enjoying the shiok feeling of a new flat. it was so hard to get it.'
then he told the kids to apply for flats in Tengah when they get married. he will tutor and send the grandchildren to and fro. :roll:

Janet, yr dh got plan on what to do next time already..

[MyPillow]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904154\" time=\"1553782930\" user_id=\"43981:

slmkhoo, you have planned well..could manage all the transitions smoothly.

leeyl, agree with you lor it is the companionship no much of xiaoxianrou or wat la..

:rotflmao: Xiao xian Rou is just a joke la , dun think a snr woman look for such r/ ship

Frankly , do u think u will find a companion - let’s say already in 60s after spouse pass?
For myself - been thinking casually abt it after leeyl post - I do not know at the moment , but another thought is can’t forget the spouse lei , after living n loving for so many decades...
Next is if our parent finds a companion , can we as kids accept ? Is the r/ship out of money or real care / love ... hmmm ... ?

[MrsKiasu]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1904156\" time=\"1553784145\" user_id=\"70594:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904154\" time=\"1553782930\" user_id=\"43981:

slmkhoo, you have planned well..could manage all the transitions smoothly.

leeyl, agree with you lor it is the companionship no much of xiaoxianrou or wat la..

:rotflmao: Xiao xian Rou is just a joke la , dun think a snr woman look for such r/ ship

Frankly , do u think u will find a companion - let’s say already in 60s after spouse pass?
For myself - been thinking casually abt it after leeyl post - I do not know at the moment , but another thought is can’t forget the spouse lei , after living n loving for so many decades...
Next is if our parent finds a companion , can we as kids accept ? Is the r/ship out of money or real care / love ... hmmm ... ?

jk jk here too

on companion..I never thought of it for myself but gave it a thought after talking abt this..for dh ..last time I feel no la, I will still feel jealous even gone but now I would think dont want dh to live miserably too..just hope that it only comes with blessing from the children..maybe let my kids be truly independent before need sharing the love of their dad? touc wood touch wood, just hope we could live happy, long life and healthy la
for our parents, when I was young I wont like..but now I changed my mind..why not as we do not have time for them.. yup of course worry their money got cheated, I think very normal worries..