All About Full-Time Maids
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mum's domestic helper is staying at my place while parents are out of town.
she is sleeping in daughter's room and helping herself to the creams, perfume and stuff on the table.
before she came, we did a video chat with her. she is from Myanmar.
she agreed not have a mobile phone but came with one anyway :roll:
the agreement at parents' place is no mobile phone during the day but 2 hours every night.
she brought the mobile phone to my place and I gave her access to wi fi for usage at night. guess what, she started blasting her myanmar songs and talked all day. I told her she is talking too loud. then she went into the room to yak.
on National Day, hubby brought kids out to watch fireworks. I stayed at home. she yakked all day. at 630pm, I called her out of the room to ask if she wanted noodles. I called 4x and when she finally came out, she told me she was very sleepy :mad: by the way, she has only worked for 1 month 1 week.
she has salary and mum gave her additional $50. last sat, we went out for dinner and daughter requested for a slice of cake from chateraise. I bought her a slice. as we were going home, this helper was glaring at me. daughter then told me she had been glaring since we were at chateraise because she was expecting me to buy her a slice as well :slapshead:
my tolerance level has increased since the arrival of my kids. the last time I had a helper was 10 years ago.
I pretended not to know she was unhappy. I've reached the limit of my tolerance threshold.
although she does do what I tell her to, her attitude is so unacceptable.
daughter had tuition yesterday. after the helper was done with her bath, she walked into daughter's room (where tuition was going on) and applied moisturiser :faint: I was appalled but still kept my cool and told her to leave the room. as it is, she has already 'taken ownership' as though the room is hers...locking the door all the time and not waking up to let my girl take her uniform to get ready for school. -
Anyway, very soon you won’t see her anymore lah (after returning her to your mum’s pl).
From what I read in your first post, the maid seems ok, work wise not bad, learns fast and has initiative, just that she is young and naive.
You mention at your mum’s place, she’s not constantly on her phone. Probably your mum has instructed her no phone during “working hours”. Over at your place, it seems like you treat her more like a guest rather than a maid. Maybe you should be UPFRONT with her, no touching of your (and your kids’) stuff without your permission and strictly no HP.
As these helpers come from much poorer countries, they may salivate at Chateraise cakes and pastries. But it is up to you whether you want to buy her a slice or not. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"1928124\" time=\"1565576787\" user_id=\"17023:
I admit I had been soft. Even hubby said the same. But the rationale is she is not my helper, so I am nice to her. Mum gave her additional $50 to buy what she wants, on top of her $80 salary (July) since she knows I will likely bring her out. So she does have the means to buy herself anything she wants. Anyway, very soon you won’t see her anymore lah (after returning her to your mum’s pl).
From what I read in your first post, the maid seems ok, work wise not bad, learns fast and has initiative, just that she is young and naive.
You mention at your mum’s place, she’s not constantly on her phone. Probably your mum has instructed her no phone during “working hours”. Over at your place, it seems like you treat her more like a guest rather than a maid. Maybe you should be UPFRONT with her, no touching of your (and your kids’) stuff without your permission and strictly no HP.
As these helpers come from much poorer countries, they may salivate at Chateraise cakes and pastries. But it is up to you whether you want to buy her a slice or not. -
janet88,
Rmbr u’re supervising yr mum’s maid on her behalf. Don’t hv to be extra nice.
If yr family goes for dinner & she’s invited, she shld be thankful. She wants Chasteraise, use her pocket money to buy herself. I don’t bring mine out except for the occasional PH & her b’day. She don’t hv to pay for her meals but if it’s her b’day we buy her a b’day cake. She gets a special fondant cake i personally bake to bring to church to share with her frds. When my family gets some ABC b’fast or Chasteraise, we do not get an extra piece for her. On some afternoons, when I do groceries with her, i might just get her a cuppa & share bread @ Yakun. Once i start, i feel obligated to keep that as a practice. I’m always concern abt setting precedents. A habit leftover fr my days in practicing HR. Precedents always a taboo in our line of work coz staff will always expect company will benefit them again & it shld become an entitlement.
Be cordial & tell her u hv yr houserules, and reinforce hp usage only after her work are all done after dinner.
Be firm that u expect her to be considerate whether she is a guest or a helper - considerate to yr daughter’s space and use of her room when she is doing hmwk, tuition. She is to use the room only for sleeping. If she need to use her hp use it in the living room or kitchen area whichever u set for her. Like lee_yl indicate she’ll be back to yr mum soon. -
Estéema\" post_id=\"1928209\" time=\"1565615638\" user_id=\"66413:
esteema,
janet88,
Be cordial & tell her u hv yr houserules, and reinforce hp usage only after her work are all done after dinner.
Be firm that u expect her to be considerate whether she is a guest or a helper - considerate to yr daughter’s space and use of her room when she is doing hmwk, tuition. She is to use the room only for sleeping. If she need to use her hp use it in the living room or kitchen area whichever u set for her. Like lee_yl indicate she’ll be back to yr mum soon.
I have always thought when treating a person well, he/she will reciprocate.
unfortunately she has forgotten she is a domestic helper and sleeping in my daughter's room is really giving her too much face. she is always in the room and forces my daughter out. anyway, I will bring her to the agency until parents return. this domestic helper has forgotten her status. -
janet88\" post_id=\"1928237\" time=\"1565652579\" user_id=\"12950:
janet88,
esteema,Estéema\" post_id=\"1928209\" time=\"1565615638\" user_id=\"66413:
janet88,
Be cordial & tell her u hv yr houserules, and reinforce hp usage only after her work are all done after dinner.
Be firm that u expect her to be considerate whether she is a guest or a helper - considerate to yr daughter’s space and use of her room when she is doing hmwk, tuition. She is to use the room only for sleeping. If she need to use her hp use it in the living room or kitchen area whichever u set for her. Like lee_yl indicate she’ll be back to yr mum soon.
I have always thought when treating a person well, he/she will reciprocate.
unfortunately she has forgotten she is a domestic helper and sleeping in my daughter's room is really giving her too much face. she is always in the room and forces my daughter out. anyway, I will bring her to the agency until parents return. this domestic helper has forgotten her status.
I agree. Any decent human being will treat each other well. Just that not all reciprocates with gratitude, esp if they only think of their needs. That’s the reason why we need to be firm, without mistreating them, just to keep the line btwn eyer & eyee clear. That way, eyer gets the respect and feel the love without being taken for a ride. Sorry for my crude descriptions. -
Janet88.
I think it goes beyond you being nice to your parents helper …she is being quite rude and using your daughter’s perfumes and lotions without asking is …amount to stealing. Just because it’s not money and jewellery she is taking doesn’t make it right. I’m shocked your daughter is ok about someone else touching her things ! my girl will be really angry and say something.
Using phone… ok to a point but it’s not polite to be so loud it can be overheard.
Overall, shocking behaviour, she should be thankful to have such kind people to work for. -
Angelique\" post_id=\"1928385\" time=\"1565678874\" user_id=\"117268:
my daughter is definitely no ok.
Janet88.
I think it goes beyond you being nice to your parents helper ....she is being quite rude and using your daughter’s perfumes and lotions without asking is ..amount to stealing. Just because it’s not money and jewellery she is taking doesn’t make it right. I’m shocked your daughter is ok about someone else touching her things ! my girl will be really angry and say something.
Using phone.. ok to a point but it’s not polite to be so loud it can be overheard.
Overall, shocking behaviour, she should be thankful to have such kind people to work for.
after 1 week staying here, her true colours showed up.
anyway, I've returned her to the agency yesterday right after it opened in the morning.
my daughter has several tests coming up and homework...at 9pm, the maid shooed her out of the room :mad: she has clearly forgotten the room is not hers :censored: this was the last straw. no way can I tolerate this. -
Hi! My helper’s passport is due on 30 oct 2019. Does anyone know who sld be paying for the renewal? Read from MOM website that employers are not obliged but can pay out of good will and others saying that it’s stated in the renewal contract that employer has to pay for it.
Can we also get the helper to do the collection on her off day too ?
Any advice is deeply appreciated ! Thanks ! -
Avon\" post_id=\"1929624\" time=\"1566017493\" user_id=\"180590:
When I select helpers, I usually ensure they hv at least 3-5 years validity in their passport. When they do their new passport in their home country, it is very much cheaper & less hassle. I rmbr my first Indo girl (who was with me for 6 years) had to renew at her embassy & I was caught unprepared when the embassy staff insisted that I show them a copy of contract with terms as per stipulated by Indo regulations. I had to take their copy, find a lawyer to notarized it before rushing back to embassy. I wldn’t do that anymore.
Hi! My helper's passport is due on 30 oct 2019. Does anyone know who sld be paying for the renewal? Read from MOM website that employers are not obliged but can pay out of good will and others saying that it's stated in the renewal contract that employer has to pay for it.
Can we also get the helper to do the collection on her off day too ?
Any advice is deeply appreciated ! Thanks !
I usually just pay for their renewal as it is not expensive and I renew their passport only coz they worked well in my family. So far I’ve not encountered any passport renewal that is costly except my pino girl once told me it is expensive to do in SG but very cheap to do back in her country.
I don’t think the helpers can do their passport on their off-days, assuming it’s Sundays u’re talking abt. Even if it’s a Sat, most embassies do not perform passport renewals. I rmbr some will need time to process, hence specifically mornings to submit all ppt photos, doc & pymts, afternoon to collect prejnted new ppt.
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