How to handle child who talked back

[rac555]

It depends on how you define "talked back"…


Perhaps the kid is trying to tell you his/her opinion…

[sharonkhoo]

A good scolding, then time out (giving the reason that someone as impolite as that should not be allowed in polite company!) If it persists, deprive him of a privilege. The penalty needs to be something he dislikes, and should escalate if he shows no improvement. At other, calmer, times, explain how talking back is rude and disrespectful, will give people a poor impression of him, and will make those in authority even less likely to give in to him. And teach and model the appropriate responses in the various situations - sometimes, kids don’t know how to respond appropriately (especially those with poorer social skills) and need to be shown. They may not intend to be rude.

[pleasinglypoised]

Before we look into how to handle a 6 years old from talking back, I think it is important to find out the root cause on why he/she talked back? Was it that when the child was trying to communicate something across, he/she was often ignored? Or was it that the adults (be it parents, teachers, uncles/aunties, etc) whom the child often associates with have the tendency to talk back at others? Many times, children mimic the adults without we realising it. As adults, we have to watch our own manners and behaviours and ensure we do not subconsciously talk back at others and thus, show bad examples to the child. I prefer to talk sense to the child instead of going into any form of penalization. When the child talks back, we need to educate him/her immediately that it is not right to do so. No one loves rude children and we know that every child longs to be loved. Share the need to be polite to others, and to show respect to one another. Being respectful is to show care and consideration to others.


Such education needs to be reinforced time and time again. Over a period of time, you may realise that the child is slowly learning the need for good behaviour.

Of course, every child is different and we may not be able to generalize a single solution for all. At the end of the day, we all agree that good manners start from young and as far as possible, we should instil the right behaviour to the child starting from a young age.

[Sheelaa]

Or is it just the age that they’re trying to show their individuality ? i have the same problem with my 6 yr old who wants to have the last say and want her way …

[pokoyoko]

Depends on the situation. The problem is if keep nagging they will shut down eventually. Some incidents just reason it out, when it’s serious then may need to punish…

[momkiasu]

I would suggest the 1st course of action is to firmly tell him/her you do not appreciate the way he/she is talking back to you and put him/her in time out.


After he’s calmed down, sit down and have a serious talk to him about respect and explain why it is important to him.

Next, try to resolve the matter diplomatically and try to understand it from his own perspective to show that you care about his opinion.

Finally, let him know that he is being punished for his own good because you love him. Hope this helps.

[clairebear]

How do you ask a child not to be rude? he’s in p3 now.

[zbear]

It’s either the carrot or stick method depending on the child 's character.


If you reason with the child n he/she is still not receptive, then use the hard method.

I use cane on my kids when they were in Primary School.

[Funz]

Rude how, so many scenarios, hard to give specific. Not asking properly, not saying thank you and please? Being insensitive? Etc.


For pre-schoolers I correct them by telling them how to phrase their requests or sentence and insist that they say it accordingly before I accede to whatever it is or move on.

For older kids, I have a tendency to say this to them "Please rephrase that" or "I am sure you can ask properly". I will also insist on a "Thank you" when they get what they are asking for. I will pull them back to say "Thank you" to whoever responded to their request or if service is rendered.