Me Time!

[phtthp]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950522\" time=\"1575000853\" user_id=\"43981:

...

Actually, I been quite reluctant to let her go friends house alone but somehow felt difficult to say no as the mom asked me and dd kept saying I want I want..but I told dd next year onwards I would be be stricter in this aspect liao..
I don't want it to turn to habit or think it as something very light issue..yeah for younger one, I refused few times for just dropping kiddo for playdates..I know I may be seen as anti social and gal's circle of friends sure affected but I just feel that I should do that.
...

your daughter choose IP path (Secondary education), next year ?

inevitably, when students unable to meet up in school compound for group project discussion, they tend to go to classmates' house, discuss how to do project. They find it hard to meet up in school compound, because they have different Cca, on different days. They aslso have different Talent development enrichment programme to attend on different days of the week, etc.

[Estéema]

jedamum\" post_id=\"1950521\" time=\"1575000707\" user_id=\"159:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950486\" time=\"1574986463\" user_id=\"43981:

jedamum, your dc also 4 yrs apart arh..at one stage should be very cute right as you could see one big and one small ..I sometimes fascinated forgetting that the elder one is still a kid lor.. I see and think..why can play till like that arh I notice school holidays are the time for kids to strengthen their relationship. During school terms,
usually will be busy and younger one will go and look for friends to play with.. and this morning, dh says try not to let dd1 take public transport on own else she thinks want to go out she will go out on her own lor..and last night reminded me to spend more time with kids else in a while more she will not need us as much... see, one hand we hope they be independent but on another, we feel reluctant to let go..

Ds1 is 4yrs older than ds2 but since young, his thinking is a few years older than his years. Even his sec sch teacher commented he has a \"fatherly figure\" air to him. :rotflmao:
While ds2 is still the baby of the house, who will still sing and dance to our amusement. At times i did feel that because of ds1's alpha character at home, the siblings dynamics is such that ds2 grows to be accomodating and is just contented following his brother's lead since young. And because of that too, ds1 has plenty of day to day decision making and leading since his bro was a baby, traits of a typical firstborn. Ds2 is fearful of both his dad and his bro but the difference is he approaches ds1 readily for help but not his dad. It helps that ds1 takes good care of his bro and covers up for him at times too.

It is funny to see them so different that they fit nicely together. One is too serious and one is too carefree.

Daughters will turn to their mum more when they become mothers. :love: No worries..
Whereas boys only answer their mothers WhatsApp message with monosyllabic replies (my hb included!) :spank:

jedamum,
You’re very blessed yr 2 boys hv healthy bond as bros. Yah, talk abt monosyllabic replies. Still training my young fellow to be more specific & short msgs do not communicate well. He’ll get there soon but ocassionally still Brief comm. He says that’s how his guys chat! :faint: He’s pulled both ways - peers & mum. Thankfully, DH started coaching him too esp when we hv family chtgrp.

[MrsKiasu]

phtthp\" post_id=\"1950534\" time=\"1575002158\" user_id=\"35251:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950522\" time=\"1575000853\" user_id=\"43981:

...

Actually, I been quite reluctant to let her go friends house alone but somehow felt difficult to say no as the mom asked me and dd kept saying I want I want..but I told dd next year onwards I would be be stricter in this aspect liao..
I don't want it to turn to habit or think it as something very light issue..yeah for younger one, I refused few times for just dropping kiddo for playdates..I know I may be seen as anti social and gal's circle of friends sure affected but I just feel that I should do that.
...

your daughter choose IP path (Secondary education), next year ?

inevitably, when students unable to meet up in school compound for group project discussion, they tend to go to classmates' house, discuss how to do project

O, phtthp..

[jedamum]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950528\" time=\"1575001576\" user_id=\"43981:

It is interesting to know this kind of 'pattern' ..our pattern is the other way round..dd2 is very playful but somehow more mature for her age..to me like bringing the gap closer..that could be reason for them still able to get closer I think. dd1 though sometimes seems mature but she has a child/playful side that will emerge under less stressful environment like school hol haha so the 2 of them will play together..play what you know..those games that younger one learned from friends aiyo..yes the younger is usually the cartoony one who will bring laughters to family..

Same gender siblings tend to be closer i feel.
Ds1 though matured, is very stubborn and fixated on certain views and is really not an easy person to get along with, hence some can view it as immaturity. Ds2 though not as matured, is matured enough to understand letting his bro has his way is no big deal. Whenever i offer ds2 to choose something first, he lets his bro have that first choice.

Ya, your younger one also like mine, the one who brings laughter.

Just only, ds2 chased ds1 around with his nerf gun . Now both in the room dunno playing on ds1 laptop or watch YouTube. :love:

[laughingcat]

MKS, likewise I also refuse DSs from going to other frz house. If want, I can book the condo function room for them to do project. I can provide food and drinks. Going to other folk’s house is a no-no rule.

[jedamum]

Estéema\" post_id=\"1950535\" time=\"1575002169\" user_id=\"66413:

jedamum,
You’re very blessed yr 2 boys hv healthy bond as bros. Yah, talk abt monosyllabic replies. Still training my young fellow to be more specific & short msgs do not communicate well. He’ll get there soon but ocassionally still Brief comm. He says that’s how his guys chat! :faint: He’s pulled both ways - peers & mum. Thankfully, DH started coaching him too esp when we hv family chtgrp.

Yes, we are very blessed that they complement each other. When i was a young parent, i read that focusing on bringing up the firstborn will make bringing up the younger ones easier due to having a strong role model around. There is this balance to strike on favouritism too. It helps that Ds1 asked for a sibling when he was only 2 plus.

You are right. Lol that is how guys chat. Good that your dh is coaching him. I can only hope my future dils will fill in that gap - like how i will whatsapp my inlaws every 2-3 days be it just posting the boys eating dinner.

[Estéema]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1950522\" time=\"1575000853\" user_id=\"43981:

I been thinking about dd taking public trpt recently as dd kept wanting to do that..so hearing dh thinking same, I m happy actually. I know it is good to let kids be independent in this area but personally I feel I would like to delay as much as possible for dd to have more open contact with her surroundings and outside ppl. Actually, I been quite reluctant to let her go friends house alone but somehow felt difficult to say no as the mom asked me and dd kept saying I want I want..but I told dd next year onwards I would be be stricter in this aspect liao.. I don't want it to turn to habit or think it as something very light issue..yeah for younger one, I refused few times for just dropping kiddo for playdates..I know I may be seen as anti social and gal's circle of friends sure affected but I just feel that I should do that. I told them to spend as much time with each other first..to me, building up a stronger relationship between siblings and us as a closer family unit are more important..strengthen this first before others...I think I m towards the extreme side yeah..

I u’stand yr concern & u hv the right & shld send strong signals to yr girl that you are still concern for her safety in every sense.

By T2 of sec 1, they’ll be required to do projects in teams. I try steer my kids to get their mtgs set up in sch or rotate mtg at diff students’ home if nec. Just sharing, we had a time when one team member’s parents insisted to hv ALL mtgs held at their sprawling Sentosa Cove but non of other parents invited. I was OK with it till it seems all the work was laid on my child whilst ano 2 was more docile & not able to contribute. Then I discovered the main reason was the mum was manipulating such that her child do not hv to ‘run ard’ & savevtome coz tutor’s go to their home. Major thing is my child was thrown all the work with all the excuses & believe me, I resteer to a neutral mtg place at the library & when she protested, I highlighted I was abt to check with the cher i/c “abt the progress the team was heading” before she relented.

Then, ano proj was done at ano peer’s place as I slowly release grip. Then I discovered the reason they always extend beyond mtg time - console games in locked rooms with older siblings. Maybe here it might be more relevant for us mums with girls. Try to encourage fair rotation of mtg place so they’re not fixated in one location & if possible, do projects in sch at computer rooms, etc. We will hv no idea what happens in ano peer’s home - ano adult manipulation, ano adult or opp sex sibling hanging ard, kids gaming instead of working on projects & just complete individually at home, etc.

I’ve learnt to request for progressive snapshots of what has been done every mtg. Tho they hv freedom to meet outside, but they’re still accountable for their time. No choice, at lower sec, still hv to monitor & meddle. By sec 3 shld be much better (caveat- depends on each chold’s ability & maturity).

Think I’ve previously shared abt putting desktops/laptops in a corner of living room (study room too high risks IMO if they can lock doors). Learnt this after a frd’s neice was caught by dad undressing herself in front of computer online with a man in full view!

Not easy being parents. Hv to terik, hv to balance pole, hv to hold back & yet exert authority all on instinct & hopefully wisdom.

[Estéema]

laughingcat\" post_id=\"1950540\" time=\"1575002726\" user_id=\"3309:

MKS, likewise I also refuse DSs from going to other frz house. If want, I can book the condo function room for them to do project. I can provide food and drinks. Going to other folk's house is a no-no rule.

But, but huh, in reality other parents also just as protective not letting their kids go ano peer’s house do proj how? Come to compromise either neutral grounds in sch or rotate bah.

[Estéema]

phtthp\" post_id=\"1950534\" time=\"1575002158\" user_id=\"35251:

your daughter choose IP path (Secondary education), next year ?

inevitably, when students unable to meet up in school compound for group project discussion, they tend to go to classmates' house, discuss how to do project. They find it hard to meet up in school compound, because they have different Cca, on different days. They aslso have different Talent development enrichment programme to attend on different days of the week, etc.

Umm.. if CCA clashes & cant meet in sch, wldn’t it be same can’t meet anywhere else? Unless u’re referring to doing projects after 6pm or on Sundays.

[Estéema]

jedamum\" post_id=\"1950542\" time=\"1575003042\" user_id=\"159:

Estéema\" post_id=\"1950535\" time=\"1575002169\" user_id=\"66413:

jedamum,
You’re very blessed yr 2 boys hv healthy bond as bros. Yah, talk abt monosyllabic replies. Still training my young fellow to be more specific & short msgs do not communicate well. He’ll get there soon but ocassionally still Brief comm. He says that’s how his guys chat! :faint: He’s pulled both ways - peers & mum. Thankfully, DH started coaching him too esp when we hv family chtgrp.

Yes, we are very blessed that they complement each other. When i was a young parent, i read that focusing on bringing up the firstborn will make bringing up the younger ones easier due to having a strong role model around. There is this balance to strike on favouritism too. It helps that Ds1 asked for a sibling when he was only 2 plus.

You are right. Lol that is how guys chat. Good that your dh is coaching him. I can only hope my future dils will fill in that gap - like how i will whatsapp my inlaws every 2-3 days be it just posting the boys eating dinner.

jedamum,
One other blessing u hv - no middle-child syndrome right?
Until very recently, I still witness BIL trying to prove he shines better than DH. It’s so amusing! I just added in to affirm him that “yes, you’re ingenious & did a great job!”