To those parents who coach your kids at home
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We are not in this category… I m bad and my dh is worse so I guess kids are lucky as of now.
On a more general advice, if me I will just ask him to do the coaching la. -
BlueCheese\" post_id=\"1993183\" time=\"1598834804\" user_id=\"102877:
Hi, I’m a fellow mummy. DH is more kancheong than me about kid’s results. But he “outsource” the coaching of academic matters to me. He knows that my grades are better & I am more in tune with the current syllabus (I see it as my “job” to read up about the latest developments, whether on KSP or watch PSLE webinars by tuition centres etc).
Can I ask a few questions :
1. do u mind if your spouse is more relaxed and not as kancheong as you regarding kids' results?
2. if you regularly revise with your kids and want to rope your spouse in, do u insist/force if your spouse say she's not good/can't teach/rather give moral support in other ways?
3. if you do managed to persuade in your partner to revise the kids' work with them, do u insist they do it your way (eg. You're very systematic 'drilling tuition teacher' style but your other half is more spontaneous (but still passionate)?
I'm a mum feeling stressed cos hubby wants me to follow his style but I'm more spontaneous, enjoy inspiring and exploring the fun bits with the kids (I'm in charge of science) and hate the drilling style, although it gets them more marks. Dilemma....
DH did try coaching kid for Maths (his best subject) - always ended up shouting impatiently. Terrified the kid & always back to me again. DH surrenders and says he can’t teach. So he will trust me to do it. He doesn’t micromanage but he will help me nag the kid to work hard, improve his attitude, etc. So yes, he gives me the moral support. He is responsible for play time & sports. It’s ok if you can both agree on the duties & support each other. -
MrsKiasu: your kid is v lucky to have both your moral support even if u don’t coach them
Zac’s mum: has it ever crossed your mind to ‘persuade’ or ask your hubby to try teaching it your way (which you are using and works with the kid & can see improvement) so maybe he will find it easier to teach? Do you think any lesser of him if he just ‘surrenders’ and ‘gives up’ because of frustration? -
BlueCheese\" post_id=\"1993213\" time=\"1598842690\" user_id=\"102877:
Er, no it hasn’t crossed my mind. We are both different personalities & different parenting styles. I guess we know where each others’ strengths lie. I wouldn’t ask/force him to use my method. Sometimes I feel tired shouldering all the burden for academics, then I go vent on him lor. He will pacify me & try to make it up in other ways like doing more household chores.
MrsKiasu: your kid is v lucky to have both your moral support even if u don't coach them
Zac's mum: has it ever crossed your mind to 'persuade' or ask your hubby to try teaching it your way (which you are using and works with the kid & can see improvement) so maybe he will find it easier to teach? Do you think any lesser of him if he just 'surrenders' and 'gives up' because of frustration? -
Zac’s mum: thank u for your input, I’m very envy of your relationship. I already told my hubby I will try my best but he still insist I coach them and say 'there’s no other way, you must coach them this xyz way then they will improve. If you don’t like to do it, u also must do it. '
>…< -
BlueCheese\" post_id=\"1993213\" time=\"1598842690\" user_id=\"102877:
I can only say they are 'lucky' as of now. The road in front of them maybe tough. But I do hope that they could slowly venture into it with some stronger foundation built in areas other than academic..I hope I m not too wrong.. also I guess competitiveness is not in my blood and just too bad they see me 24/7.
MrsKiasu: your kid is v lucky to have both your moral support even if u don't coach them
Zac's mum: has it ever crossed your mind to 'persuade' or ask your hubby to try teaching it your way (which you are using and works with the kid & can see improvement) so maybe he will find it easier to teach? Do you think any lesser of him if he just 'surrenders' and 'gives up' because of frustration?
Having both parents being so caring on kids studies is generally good but I find that having space within ourselves is important..probably both you and your dh have your own ways and views but dont neglect about the views from kids too.. -
BlueCheese\" post_id=\"1993225\" time=\"1598844278\" user_id=\"102877:
Not sure how old your kids are.
Zac's mum: thank u for your input, I'm very envy of your relationship. I already told my hubby I will try my best but he still insist I coach them and say 'there's no other way, you must coach them this xyz way then they will improve. If you don't like to do it, u also must do it. '
>…<
Mine is P4 and recently I complained to DH something similar. It is the PSLE exam marking that is too rigid. That’s why they only award marks to a fixed way of answering. I am also very sian, I don’t like to keep insisting on that fixed way & strain the relationship with my child. Otherwise there’s no way to improve his marks. I cried and vented. Child is not stupid or slow, but what to do, from A to A* this is what I have to insist on. It’s ridiculous that our system cannot be more forgiving & see that a wider range of answers can correctly reflect that a child understands & grasps the primary school syllabus well enough.
Maybe need to discuss with spouse the root cause of needing to score high. I did...we intend to relax our expectations a bit. Slightly lower grades are not a reflection of his intellect (not to us). If he cannot get into the course/school that we want, so be it. We’ll live with it. Love our child nonetheless. -
What about sending the children off to tuition?
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MrsKiasu: I’m sure your kids will find their own path independently with your backing… Competitiveness is also never in my blood that’s why I’m so laid back, much to the angst of the hubby lol… I do always ask the kids - how can I revise this with u? Am I clear enough? Need me to draw draw diagrams? To get feedback on how the info can be better digested by them.
Zac’s Mummy: I can totally relate what you say about the rigid way of marking especially Science which I’m coaching… It’s driving me crazy when different papers’ from each school + their own school answers differently. Kid is now P6. I always need to ask him back - will your teacher accept this answer?
Kudos to you for taking the initiative to look at psle seminars and info… My hubby is the one who’s really good at doing that (besides also looking out for supermkt promos and discounts >_<)
MerlionInGermany:
My kid IS already having tuition… Which is like a year after I started coaching him science and decided that i can only do so much… Better get a pro to teach him really HOW to answer to score which is really essential and which I can’t do cos like I said I hate drilling kids to study… #sorrynotsorry
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