In-law problems?

[ZacK]

ChiefKiasu:

Should I start the ball rolling? :evil:

Pls share your juicy tales!

But I guess our complaints abt our MILs will still be nothing compared to what some of the mummies here experience... Women juz have a way of being mean to each other cos 一山不能藏二虎 *growl*

[heutistmeintag]

Anyway, I felt that guys tend not to be bothered by PILs easily. For my case, my only complaints about my PILs are that they are just too nice to my kids and me. If we had stayed together, my kids would be spoiled rotten by them.

[winth]

heutistmeintag:

Anyway, I felt that guys tend not to be bothered by PILs easily.

Fully Agreed! Guys just seem to be able to overlook such incidents easily. They won't even be bothered to talk about it.

Everytime I asked DH why he doesn't stand up for himself when SIL is being nasty in comments to him (she's really one who is 口无遮拦), he just said he can't be bothered esp when she's not in the centre of his life.

But after she got married, her comments are slightly more friendly, so we are lucky that we dun kanna so much from her when she needs to 'act' in front of her new husband. She is so... not herself...

Zack:

But I guess our complaints abt our MILs will still be nothing compared to what some of the mummies here experience... Women juz have a way of being mean to each other cos 一山不能藏二虎 *growl*

Actually it's true that usually it's only MIL and DIL have problems with each other. Sometimes, like my case, SIL also springs into action. For me, I guess it might be jealousy? That I have snatched away their only 'functioning and problem-free' male in the family? DH is obviously my MIL's favourite child, and from her comments about all her other children, I think she sees him as her only child.

I recalled many years ago when I had my tea ceremony, all my 'sisters' were in my MIL's house with me. We had to kneel and offer tea, my MIL used her hand to lower my head down. I lowered a bit with some resistance (and with a little of shock of cos), but it wasn't enough for her. She then pushed my head even lower very forcefully, until I see her feet. (Luckily my mum forewarned me about my MIL and how she dun like this 媒婆, so I had come quite prepared that tea ceremony is not going to be easy).

All my 'sisters' were in shock when they saw it. But what to do? I still have to smile smile like nothing is wrong.

After the ceremony, at night after everyone is gone, my husband confronted his mum and asked why she do such a thing. She said it was from the advice of this 媒婆. And that 媒婆 used my MIL's hand to push my head down. So which means, my head was lowered by 2 people lar! Even more fuming angry. Wa, I curse and swear I tell you.

And she said it's their Teochew tradition like wat the 媒婆 said. I have nothing against Teochews, but bec of this incident, it was like... you can go #%^&* with your traditions.

When it was my SIL's turn to offer me tea during her tea ceremony, I was so tempted, so very tempted to ... urrggghhh... Oh, and she greeted me so sweetly (in front of her husband), aiyo... that day should go buy Toto, maybe can strike...

[winth]

hunter:

hi,


my side of the story (though hv to admit not fair for my mil...she can't defend herself, since dunno abt this post...hehehe)

When i was preggy with my 1st bb, my mil happily volunteered to do confinement for me...but since she was working, we've to let her know when i wld deliver, so she can apply for leave...which we did remind her 1mth in advance...every week...she say leave no problem, already infd her company...

Then came the day i delivered...we infd her & told her that i wld be discharged on the 3rd day...she replied ok...On the day of my discharge...to my surprise...my mum appeared at our doorstep. My mil couldn't get her leave in time, so she asked my mum to help me out for 3 days. I was mad coz she didn't inform me or my hubby during my stay in hospital...my mum's looking after my nieces, so my brother has to take urgent leave to look after his own children.

On the 4th day, when my mil appeared at my doorstep, the 1st thing she told me was 'I'm only here to cook...I won't touch the baby'...What The H#*%!...If i knew this was gg to happen, I might as well get a confinement lady in the 1st place, rite!

Hi hunter,

Guess MIL usually have an episode when their DIL gets pregnant and needs to deliver their first grandson.

Had a lot of headaches too when I had to think of my own confinement and childcare issues.

My 2nd child, less headache. Everything was SOP.

[ZacK]

winth:

I recalled many years ago when I had my tea ceremony, all my 'sisters' were in my MIL's house with me. We had to kneel and offer tea, my MIL used her hand to lower my head down. I lowered a bit with some resistance (and with a little of shock of cos), but it wasn't enough for her. She then pushed my head even lower very forcefully, until I see her feet. (Luckily my mum forewarned me about my MIL and how she dun like this 媒婆, so I had come quite prepared that tea ceremony is not going to be easy).

All my 'sisters' were in shock when they saw it. But what to do? I still have to smile smile like nothing is wrong.

After the ceremony, at night after everyone is gone, my husband confronted his mum and asked why she do such a thing. She said it was from the advice of this 媒婆. And that 媒婆 used my MIL's hand to push my head down. So which means, my head was lowered by 2 people lar! Even more fuming angry. Wa, I curse and swear I tell you.

And she said it's their Teochew tradition like wat the 媒婆 said. I have nothing against Teochews, but bec of this incident, it was like... you can go #%^&* with your traditions.

When it was my SIL's turn to offer me tea during her tea ceremony, I was so tempted, so very tempted to ... urrggghhh... Oh, and she greeted me so sweetly (in front of her husband), aiyo... that day should go buy Toto, maybe can strike...

Wow what a way to start your \"first\" day into the family :x ... Isnt it rude for your MIL to have done that especially on your big day. Even though they are our elders, respect needs to be earned and that starts with them respecting others as well.

I do not hesitate to tell my MIL off if she is way out of line... But most times, the things that irk me does not involve me so I just dun bother.

Anyway your incident is already in the past... Should have cooled off by now right?

[winth]

Zack:

Should have cooled off by now right?

To tell you the truth, it's difficult to forget such a thing. The photographer there even, coincidentally, took a shot of us when my head was being lowered down. So I had this photo in my album. My head has never been held that low before, so it was THE insult of my life. But diplomatically, I shouldn't be raising this issue in front of my MIL anymore.

My wedding dinner was even messier with that stupid 媒婆 calling shots around during our preparation. You see, that 媒婆 was a divorcee, so married twice, and have seen through 2 other marriages for her sons, so supposedly the better experienced one. Wa... that was a nightmare too.

Sometimes, I just wished I could do the dinner again - at my terms, of cos.

[EstherTan]

My hubby has the patience of a saint (truth be told, I think it's developed from years of training by his mom... )


I kinda had my wedding day spoiled by my MIL too... last minute detours to the temple to pray to ancestors (which she didn't inform us despite asking several times), insisting that I had to had a SEPERATE tea ceremony JUST before the wedding dinner for the elders (uncles, aunties) who weren't there in the morning for the actual ceremony.

When asked by my 'sister' (who was coordinating the affair) who was involved in the tea ceremony (as it was already getting late), MIL replied 'I dono leh, see who is here lor'

I don't get it. Were these people not once DIL's before???

Given a choice, I would have opted for a very simple wedding ceremony. But. For their face. They took almost 30 tables out of the 47 for the wedding. For their relatives and friends. My mom requested for 3 tables.

[winth]

EstherTan:

Were these people not once DIL's before???

Maybe it's time to show their prowess as MIL?
You know, like oohh... finally i get the chance liao after so many years...

Or maybe it's just some woman's instinct about their DIL?
They just dun like this woman who is going to snatch their precious son from the cradle?

Maybe, when I become a MIL one day, I might not like what I see too in the DIL-to-be...

------------------------------------------
There was once a guy (read from marriage builder book, so dunno real one or not) who was puzzled why his mum didn't like all the gfs that he brought home for dinner.

And bec of that, he does not bring anymore girls to his house for dinner.

Soon, he fell so in love with this woman and knew that she was gonna be the love of his life. So he decided that his mum needs to see her before they get married.

He also did an experiment. He invited his gf along with 2 other lady friends over for dinner and behaved like mutual friends.

When everything was over and he sat down with his mum to tell her that he's gonna marry one of them.

Without hesitation, his mum said, 'It's the red-haired'.
Guy replied, 'How did you know?'
His mum answered, 'Cos I don't like when I first saw her.'
--------------------------------------------

[ZacK]

winth:

Zack:

Should have cooled off by now right?

To tell you the truth, it's difficult to forget such a thing. The photographer there even, coincidentally, took a shot of us when my head was being lowered down. So I had this photo in my album. My head has never been held that low before, so it was THE insult of my life. But diplomatically, I shouldn't be raising this issue in front of my MIL anymore.

My wedding dinner was even messier with that stupid 媒婆 calling shots around during our preparation. You see, that 媒婆 was a divorcee, so married twice, and have seen through 2 other marriages for her sons, so supposedly the better experienced one. Wa... that was a nightmare too.

Sometimes, I just wished I could do the dinner again - at my terms, of cos.

Hahaha if I were you... I would have burnt that photo so that I wont be reminded of it. Anyway no pt feeling sore abt such things lar... Wah seems like the 媒婆 is the one that was 搞鬼 :stupid:

[ZacK]

EstherTan:

My hubby has the patience of a saint (truth be told, I think it's developed from years of training by his mom... )


I kinda had my wedding day spoiled by my MIL too... last minute detours to the temple to pray to ancestors (which she didn't inform us despite asking several times), insisting that I had to had a SEPERATE tea ceremony JUST before the wedding dinner for the elders (uncles, aunties) who weren't there in the morning for the actual ceremony.

When asked by my 'sister' (who was coordinating the affair) who was involved in the tea ceremony (as it was already getting late), MIL replied 'I dono leh, see who is here lor'

I don't get it. Were these people not once DIL's before???

Given a choice, I would have opted for a very simple wedding ceremony. But. For their face. They took almost 30 tables out of the 47 for the wedding. For their relatives and friends. My mom requested for 3 tables.

I am thankful that I had my way during my wedding... we made do with a tea reception for abt 300 guests and we were done with the \"rites\" by 5ish... So we pretty much had time to ourselves at night