All About Parenting Teenagers

[zac's mum]

:goodpost:

[SanFran]

How to help this teenager?


I have a relative who is doing O levels this year. He comes across as weird to most people (I think) because of his characteristics:

Not comfortable with making eye contact;
Talks to himself sometimes;
Seems to live in his own world rather than being sensitive to other people/surroundings;

From young he has shown some “symptoms” of autism but they look mild to me. He has some OCD. Academically he has no problem, not the smartest type but will likely qualify for a 2 year JC science course.

I am thinking after his O levels in mid Nov, we should send him for counselling or get some kind of “professional” intervention, so as to help him be able to adapt to JC where he has to be more interactive and work with his classmates.

Does anyone have any ideas on what can be done and who we can approach for help?

[sharonkhoo]

SanFran\" post_id=\"2037582\" time=\"1631418102\" user_id=\"13877:

How to help this teenager?

I have a relative who is doing O levels this year. He comes across as weird to most people (I think) because of his characteristics:

Not comfortable with making eye contact;
Talks to himself sometimes;
Seems to live in his own world rather than being sensitive to other people/surroundings;

From young he has shown some “symptoms” of autism but they look mild to me. He has some OCD. Academically he has no problem, not the smartest type but will likely qualify for a 2 year JC science course.

I am thinking after his O levels in mid Nov, we should send him for counselling or get some kind of “professional” intervention, so as to help him be able to adapt to JC where he has to be more interactive and work with his classmates.

Does anyone have any ideas on what can be done and who we can approach for help?

This sounds very much like high-functioning autism - my daughter is like that. We have DIY'd all her life, so I can't give you any recommendations for interventions. Maybe others here can help.

The main thing is for him to understand that he is bwhaving in a way that is not the same as other people, and to help him change some of these to some degree (it's not possible to change completely and be \"normal\"). For my daughter, we talk to her frequently and help her to recognise her traits, and try to get her to change some of them to some degree (with limited effect). It's been a long road, and we will never \"finish\". At the moment, she has graduated and is looking for a job, but it's not easy to get past the door as her results are only so-so, and she hardly even gets interviews.

Here's a couple of articles that might explain things a bit more:

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/cnainsider/invisible-struggle-people-high-functioning-autism-workplace-hire-1965121
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/cnainsider/high-functioning-autistic-man-quest-be-human-lifelong-disability-1965116

Also read some of the posts on the \"All about autism\" thread.

[SanFran]

Thank you slmkhoo!

[kikismom]

Hi Parents


I am very desperate. I have a 14 years old son. He is getting out of hand. During HBL, he will on the games screen and starting playing and he is addicted to his hp and laptop. His results dropped drastically. I took away the laptop and he threatened to jump off the building. We need to activate police and civial defense to bring him down and he was send to IMH. He refused to any counselling and instead he said that we are abnormal parents and we are the one need counselling. Everyday we are living in a struggling mode as anytime he will go crazy and refused to go school. He no longer respect and listen to us. Third party advised and talk to him but in vain. Do you think I should just withdraw him from school?

[sharonkhoo]

kikismom\" post_id=\"2038366\" time=\"1631850080\" user_id=\"34955:

Hi Parents

I am very desperate. I have a 14 years old son. He is getting out of hand. During HBL, he will on the games screen and starting playing and he is addicted to his hp and laptop. His results dropped drastically. I took away the laptop and he threatened to jump off the building. We need to activate police and civial defense to bring him down and he was send to IMH. He refused to any counselling and instead he said that we are abnormal parents and we are the one need counselling. Everyday we are living in a struggling mode as anytime he will go crazy and refused to go school. He no longer respect and listen to us. Third party advised and talk to him but in vain. Do you think I should just withdraw him from school?

You need to convince him (somehow) that he needs counselling and will have to change his ways. If you can't get through, maybe someone else - relative, teacher, sensible older friend? You might withdraw him from school temporarily, but what will he do in the meantime? Can you get him to work or so something other than gaming? If he goes back to his gaming again, that isn't going to help. I don't know what IMH or counsellors can advise, but he can't be allowed to do what he likes and stop schooling. It will seem that he has \"won\".

[Amansinghh]

the same way to treate parents, minimize their emotion of period of rebelling

[newbieks]

Hi,


My 15 year old girl seems to be constantly tired, especially these few weeks and seem to be getting worse, to the extent that when she sit down at her study table after school she will just put her head on the table and sleep. No doubt school hours has been longer this year and all along she hasn’t been a very focused person when doing work, I am getting increasingly concerned as I have read about thyroid problems in teenage girls causing extreme tiredness and inability to focus…

[sharonkhoo]

newbieks\" post_id=\"2058996\" time=\"1645113233\" user_id=\"178749:

Hi,

My 15 year old girl seems to be constantly tired, especially these few weeks and seem to be getting worse, to the extent that when she sit down at her study table after school she will just put her head on the table and sleep. No doubt school hours has been longer this year and all along she hasn’t been a very focused person when doing work, I am getting increasingly concerned as I have read about thyroid problems in teenage girls causing extreme tiredness and inability to focus…

Sometimes stress can lead to extreme fatigue - maybe talk to her casually and see if there are any possible stressors such as workload, the need to focus closely etc, or whether there could be other causes (social?). If you think there could be a physical cause, take her to your GP and ask for a checkup. If necessary, they can order blood tests for an initial screening, and can manage simple cases as well.

[newbieks]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2059020\" time=\"1645143250\" user_id=\"28674:

Sometimes stress can lead to extreme fatigue - maybe talk to her casually and see if there are any possible stressors such as workload, the need to focus closely etc, or whether there could be other causes (social?). If you think there could be a physical cause, take her to your GP and ask for a checkup. If necessary, they can order blood tests for an initial screening, and can manage simple cases as well.

Thanks...will continue to monitor and see if more sleep can improve the situation