Controlling parents

[zac's mum]

I feel you. Were they like this during your PSLE year?


Sec 1 exams are not that crucial in the grand scheme of things. I don’t really understand why they are being so controlling but please have a talk with them if they are open. Key words to mention are “I am extremely stressed” and “mental health not ok right now!” See if they understand the signals.

[MerlionInGermany]

If you are indeed the student (using your parent’s account), nobody really knows what you do in the room. You could be resting your head on the table. Try that for a break. And then tell them you cannot finish. If you really need to “hand in” the work assigned by your parents, they would be equally swamped trying to mark your work. So maybe do a lot such that they have no time to finish marking. I guess no one can talk any sense into them as we do not know them personally and we dont really know the context of this whole situation. You could try by asking your teachers for advice.

[phtthp]

If your parents still don’t see the need that u need space to breathe, go see a counsellor in your school, explain the situation. The counsellor will contact your parents, have a direct word with them that this is not the way to go. Your class Form Teacher will also talk to your parents, together with your school counsellor.


Your parents grow up in a generation, that is very different from yours today. Many things have changed. They are also learning to be good parents to you too. So, give them a chance. Have a heart to heart talk, with them your needs. Tell them your problem(s) that you are facing now.

In Secondary schools, do not be afraid to approach school counsellor. They are there to help you. So, shout for help fast, before this prolong further. Can see that the mental stress is eating into you.

Also, advise your parents to attend beneficial "Parenting talk, for teenagers", to equip themselves with skill to manage their children, born in this generation.

Yes, definitely you need a break time. Cannot be like a robot machine studying for so many hours. Some more, you are only Sec 1, just finished your Psle.

When do students go full-steam, study for many hours at a stretch ? Is when

1) they are preparing for Sec 2 year end exam, because of streaming into Sec 3 subject combination, or

2) preparing for Sec 3 Term 4 year end exam or

3) preparing for O-level National exam, taking Total 8 or 9 or 10 subjects.

Sec 1 now,
you should be having honeymoon,
because you are so far away from Sec (2 or 3 or 4).

=========================

Why are your parents behaving like this, towards you?

1) it could be that they have been controlling you like this, since PSLE days

Or

2) there is a lack of trust , between you and your parents.

How to turn the table around ?

Plan out a daily time table routine, and show it to your parents. Inside, must include time for (resting, eg. Play piano, plus play time. Eg. Go swimming plus study).

Once you show your parents this time table planned out by yourself, it shows that you are in control of the situation, not your parents in control anymore

and

also show your sincerity in that you are being serious, bearing self responsibility in your Secondary school learning journey.


As long as u are faithful in your daily time table routine, slowly, you will win your parents trust and they will let loose the kite string they are flying in the sky. You also find that u can breathe better.

Once reach Secondary school level, it is wrong for parents to control their kids, esp when children are born in this generation, very different from our time. Advise your parents to attend some useful parenting talk, for teenagers. It will help them.

But make sure that you yourself are not addicted to handphone or computer games

[ravimehta]

we dont really know the context of this whole situation. You could try by asking your teachers for advice.