In-law problems?

[mathsparks]

Mrs Ang:

mathsparks:

Sharing some very happy news, finally, after years of mil staying with us,

we'll be moving to a smaller place and she won't be moving in with us.

:congrats: This is really a time for celebration...haha...am I being bad? :celebrate:

My hubby is the only son with two younger sisters! What should I do....I don't want to stay with this kind of selfish and crazy MIL.

cham hor? mrs ang. I was real mad and upset in my newly wed years, but over the years, I've learned to kan kai dian, since I've a life to lead. Finally, my freedom is round th corner, by end of Sep. Can't wait. Thing is, my mil has 5 sons and prefer to stick to my dh, who's the youngest. Even now, she's kinda bitter, so though we've found a unit in the same neighbourhood, we haven't shared the good news with her.

[buds]

Mrs Ang:

I also have unhappy events with both sils and mil. Mil have played me out twice regarding helping to take care of bb. When she tried the 3rd time and my hubby tactfully rejected her offer, she give sarcastic remarks...I almost blown up :x. Sils felt that their mothers are right. They never considered that I need to go back to work and my father don't own the company!

I go by trying not to depend on others. Since it's my children, i will try as
best as possible to take care of my issues between myself and hubs. As
for DD1, my mumsie offered to care for her while i continue working and
when she said she couldn't handle two babies (1 toddler + i infant) at one
time, i resigned from my job with support from hubs. This way, i don't get
disappointed since i didn't hope for anyone to help solve the issue at first.

Mrs Ang:

I didn't manage to forgive and forget few months after all these unhappiness. Seeing their faces just make me boiled.

Who said anything about forgiveness? :lol:

Boiled issues take time to cool and some serious issues take forever to be
forgotten and sometimes at the expense of someone getting heart attack
first. Just that, having so much hate everyday (esp since i live with my ILs)
is an extremely tiring feeling. Somehow, i suppose i just have more tolerant
factor... so most times i ren. Not that i condone or agree but just that it is
pointless. I also believe in karma... things have a way of coming round one
way or another. It is scary. I catch up on tv or reading when i visit ILs when
we weren't staying together initially.

Mrs Ang:

The most stupid remarks from my sils is \"why you didn't call my mother often?\" Omg!!! I don't even call my mum often since was so busy being a FTWM. Does anyone in KiasuParents forum called their mils often?

I did. At least once a week. I get her presents on her birthday. I treat her
to lunch and massage and the occasional movie treats too. But still... i am
in no way a good DIL ever in her eyes... and the fact is even clearer after
she blatantly showed how proud she was of SIL having given birth to their
ONLY grandson. Even SIL thought it felt awkward cos they've never been
close and also were at loggerheads quite often. She was the more vocal
sort of DIL and very bochap.

A lotta stuff happened over the years until MIL now quite paiseh to have
conversation with me. I was right about a lot of things and all that she did
to say me and create a rift with my hubs didn't work out after all. Though
the road/journey has been long, i am still the one to come out of the rut
still standing alive and kicking with crystal clear conscience. The patience
did pay off eventually.

And i cudn have made it myself without support from friends here and real
time and also the solace i got from constant prayers. While the road has
been rough, i got the rough going nevertheless and regardless of the many
troubles i've had to endure over the years, i'm pretty excited about the fact
that we are soon to move to our new place very soon. I never thought i wud
see the day...

Mrs Ang, you are lucky your hubs understands the situation and is on your
side... thinking of you and family first before anything else cos i didn't have
that until recently. I'm thankful that hubs eventually see the light... it's after
all not just for me but for US.

[mathsparks]

And buds, you're very fortunate too, as in, you dont have to live with mil. Plus you're a sahm with support of hubs.


Over the years, my mil was never satisfied with me either, though we gave her a room of her own plus a maid.

She very much preferred her 3rd dil, who is perfect in her eyes, even her maid is deemed more capable than mine. Her fav dil, on hearing that we were about to sell our place, hastily arranged to rent out 2 of her rooms to avoid the mil moving in with her.:faint:

Haiz..too many grouses, but I'm just happy to finally being able to move on.

[buds]

mathsparks:

Sharing some very happy news, finally, after years of mil staying with us, we'll be moving to a smaller place and she won't be moving in with us.

Mathsparks! :celebrate: CONGRATS! :celebrate:
Finally..... :love:

Hubs pondered over a smaller space initially in
case we had to go thru the same thing with the
new space. But i guess with the new baby news
it's almost automatic that there won't be space,
with or without that spare room.

Things have a way of working itself out sometimes, huh.

mathsparks:

We're not kicking her out, but her 2 other sons have spare rooms for her.

Tsk! Of course not. :lol: We know that.. :hugs:

mathsparks:

So, yep, I'm really over the moon.

I'm sure. You sound over the moon!

mathsparks:

Smaller place, but lots of freedom. :rahrah: Though a 4th room would've allowed us to have a study room, it would also mean the mil would decide to stick to us. So we consciously avoided those 4roomers. :rahrah:

Nothing beats one's own... no matter how big or how small the house is.
It's finally your own home... your own crib... your own space.

After how many years (for you)?

[buds]

mathsparks:

Over the years, my mil was never satisfied with me either, though we gave her a room of her own plus a maid.

You're very kind. :love:

mathsparks:

She very much preferred her 3rd dil, who is perfect in her eyes, even her maid is deemed more capable than mine. Her fav dil, on hearing that we were about to sell our place, hastily arranged to rent out 2 of her rooms to avoid the mil moving in with her.:faint:

When one doesn't like you... everything you own and everything related to
you oso no good lah.

mathsparks:

Haiz..too many grouses, but I'm just happy to finally being able to move on.

To moving on. :celebrate:

[mathsparks]

buds, so happy to share my joy here. Oh, the current place has always been OURS! OURS! and OURS! not HERS! NOPE! NOPE! stomp my feet


phew better now. How many years? dd already 17 le. that many years, leh. See how tolerant I am.

[mathsparks]

oh, and buds, fortunately, yr no.3’s on the way and your excuse is SOLID and fool-proof. You can’t deny your kids decent living space right? Not when the mil has somewhere else to stay.

[shine_fs]

Mrs Ang:

shine_fs:

Tell you MrsAng, the best part is I don't even know my MIL and SIL's house number...I think they also don't have mine. :boogie:

Cool !! How I wish they don't have mine. They have my mobile number too. I have terminated my house line after the unhappy phone conversation. Any way nobody at home whole day

I don't have house phone and told my hubby don't ever give my HP number to his mum....

I remember there was 1 time b4 we married, my MIL called my office (dunno where she got the number) and complaint to me till 1 hour :roll:
I was so :x and told my \"b/f\" (hubby) tell your mum don't call my office any more. Since then she don't call me but my hubby. :celebrate:

[mathsparks]

:thankyou: lkvm, I'm so looking forward to it. I hope that those stuck in the same situation as me find a way out like I eventually did...after so many long years.

[shine_fs]

mathsparks:

How many years? dd already 17 le. that many years, leh. See how tolerant I am.

I :salute: you leh.... don't think I will be able to do that.

B4 married, I told my hubby will not going to stay with his mum. Btw, my hubby is the younger son.

If he agree then I married to him if not he can find another wife