The Birds and the Bees

[shisan]

Im facing this now. My 11.5 yr old was so flustered that he had a wet dream, so kan cheong he kept cleaning the bed at 2am. I also dont know how to talk to him or what to say. Or are we supposed to even have anything to say to him? So he doesnt feel like he’s strange?

And this age is too young to have wet dreams, no?

[Liew Nga Wing]

shisan\" post_id=\"2056114\" time=\"1642502079\" user_id=\"145867:

Im facing this now. My 11.5 yr old was so flustered that he had a wet dream, so kan cheong he kept cleaning the bed at 2am. I also dont know how to talk to him or what to say. Or are we supposed to even have anything to say to him? So he doesnt feel like he’s strange?
And this age is too young to have wet dreams, no?

From your posts here and in the Roblox thread, I found that your DS is very easy to Kan Cheong over small issues. It may becuase he has set a very high standard behaviour for himself and others and never accept when he fail to comply these standards. You may talk to him and let him know that \"the sky is not going to fall\" even things turn out is not as he expects. Actually, it is good for your DS to have such self discipline but have to guide him when it is time to let things go. If this still not work, you may consider to bring him to visit some psychiatric to see whether any medication can help.

[sushi88]

shisan\" post_id=\"2056114\" time=\"1642502079\" user_id=\"145867:

Im facing this now. My 11.5 yr old was so flustered that he had a wet dream, so kan cheong he kept cleaning the bed at 2am. I also dont know how to talk to him or what to say. Or are we supposed to even have anything to say to him? So he doesnt feel like he’s strange?
And this age is too young to have wet dreams, no?

I think it is important to normalise this phenomenon for him so that he would not think he is strange. In fact he is still a good innocent boy. Wet dream is a biological phenomenon not controllable. These days, whether boys or girls, changes in them occur earlier than the usual 13-year-old guideline, so nothing to worry about.

Congratulate him that his body is telling him ahead that more changes would be coming his way(voice change, new body hair etc), like a harbinger of good news of his healthy growth. Everyone needs to grow up and growing up means learning more responsibility. Cleaning himself and his bed is part of the responsibility, definitely not viewed as an anxiety. Praise him for being responsible but let him know that you would put a laundry bag aside for his clothes or bedsheets so he would not need to rush to wash them at 2am.

This is a simple and good article as a guide.
https://www.metroparent.com/parenting/tweens-teens/wet-dreams-boys-deal-part-life/

As a parent, it is good news for you that your son is still innocent, if you know what I mean.

[shisan]

Ah i see. Ok my first time going through boy-puberty. And absolutely no idea about wet dreams, how they begin and what actually happens for the young boy. The father only says “it’s like that one”. Yes yes, he’s still innocent, and Im grateful. Other set of problems though, like poor attitude, talking back, rude…

But i do agree, he can be easily kan cheong - like me. I kept calm in front of him, then quickly google ‘wet dreams’… but to the extent of psychiatric help, probably not yet, although an aunt once suggested so because my son seems insecure.
I just gotta assure him it’s normal.

[shisan]

Hi all, I’m back… my son is so afraid and I’m not so sure if he’s ok. He had wet dream again last night at 4am. So he woke up to get changed. Then went back to sleep. An hour later it happened again, and he got very frightened and worried, saying there must be something wrong because it happened twice in a night. I don’t really know how to help him. Is this excessive or normal?

[zac's mum]

I don’t think it’s anything abnormal or worrisome. Just calmly clean up and try to go back to sleep. I suppose if a daughter had unexpected menses start in the middle of the night (or a heavy flow woke her up with stained underwear), we would try to calm her down and assure everything is fine, no need to overreact ba.

[Liew Nga Wing]

shisan\" post_id=\"2063439\" time=\"1648953389\" user_id=\"145867:

Hi all, I’m back… my son is so afraid and I’m not so sure if he’s ok. He had wet dream again last night at 4am. So he woke up to get changed. Then went back to sleep. An hour later it happened again, and he got very frightened and worried, saying there must be something wrong because it happened twice in a night. I don’t really know how to help him. Is this excessive or normal?

You may bring him to see a doctor and ask the doctor whether it is normal to have wet dream twice in a night and see what the doctor say first. My eldest brother had frequent wet dream before but he was never afraid of it.

[shisan]

The poor boy cleaned up, sat there and was extremely worried. He knew it was ok to happen once a while but immediately after, he got all frightened. I also don’t know any better.

The dad knows nothing… i don’t know why. It’s not happening everyday but twice in a day shrug

[zac's mum]

It is just a normal bodily process that will occur as they grow up…sit with him and reassure him patiently until he grows sleepy again…imagine if it is a nosebleed (or hiccups, or urine bedwetting, or similar bodily things beyond one’s control) and treat it as such. Not frightening. Even if it was a nightmare, u need to reassure the child it will pass.

[sharonkhoo]

shisan\" post_id=\"2063449\" time=\"1648956454\" user_id=\"145867:

The poor boy cleaned up, sat there and was extremely worried. He knew it was ok to happen once a while but immediately after, he got all frightened. I also don’t know any better.
The dad knows nothing… i don’t know why. It’s not happening everyday but twice in a day *shrug*

Why don't you ask the dad talk to the boy? It seems it would be the natural thing to do since there is a dad. I think the boy is likely to be reassured more when it's a man explaining it, or saying that there's nothing wrong?