In-law problems?

[ZacK]

I may be generalising this abit, but I think the source of most IL problems is because MILs are not able to let go of their sons and accept that their sonny dearest belongs to another woman now... If only they are not so protective and territorial over their sons, I'm sure most of the ILs problems would not have existed. Most MILs are less territorial over their daughters as the traditional thinking is still a woman would ultimately have to look for and cleave to their husband... Perhaps this is why most males have fewer complaints over their MILs.


I'm actually thankful that my mum has always been very thoughtful and generous... Before we got married, my MIL stayed alone with her only daughter. After we got married, we lived on our own for awhile while MIL stayed alone on her own. We discussed this just before my wife and I got married and my mum also supported the idea that we shd stay with my MIL after we got married for numerous reasons... That was how we came to stay together with my MIL now.

winth:

On the day before I ROM-ed (my wedding dinner and ROM 2 years diff), his father had run away from home after a very heated argument with threats of divorce. Was so afraid he won't come to witness my ROM. How I know, the next morning, all of them turned up so well-dressed, and happily. My PILs held hands too. During lunch, my FIL even kissed my MIL. Can you imagine... I was like wa... actor and actress.

My mum even thought they are a very loving couple.

Soon after marriage, all the true colours show... so that's how I ended up...

Hi Winth, I think that an ideal/perfect family does not exist... Every family/household would be dysfunctional, some would be mildly but some more serious than others, in varying degrees that's all. End of the day, we need to know what is most impt for us in our lives and then close one or even two eyes to things that are less than perfect... This makes day to day life a whole lot easier to grapple with

[buds]

Heyya Zack,


I do agree at some point with that.
My hubs is the eldest and the most
favourite son - for being the most
filial and most responsible. He has
also had the habit of giving his mum
all his money minus his expenditure
for the month. (Bad habit! - Hehee…)
So mum extremely pampered and very
dependent on hubs. Hence the clingy-
ness…

Even after marriage she was expecting
the usual hand outs - same amount!?!
Wow!

Difference with my own?
They both told me its ok if i don’t give
as much or don’t give any, cos i shud
save for future life ahead… But i still
gave anyway. Hey, i’m filial too ya
know… Plus the occassional makan
feast out together… and the trips
together.

[ZacK]

buds:

Heyya Zack,


I do agree at some point with that.
My hubs is the eldest and the most
favourite son - for being the most
filial and most responsible. He has
also had the habit of giving his mum
all his money minus his expenditure
for the month. (Bad habit! - Hehee..)
So mum extremely pampered and very
dependent on hubs. Hence the clingy-
ness...

Even after marriage she was expecting
the usual hand outs - same amount!?!
Wow!

Difference with my own?
They both told me its ok if i don't give
as much or don't give any, cos i shud
save for future life ahead... But i still
gave anyway. Hey, i'm filial too ya
know.. Plus the occassional makan
feast out together.. and the trips
together.

Hey girl! Do you ever sleep or you r the forum guardian? Posted at 130am and another at 5.05am!! :shock:

Wow your MIL is really pampered kekeke... For me I must say that I was the pampered one? Mum would ask me whether I have enough to spend or not when I started work years ago ... Praying that I would not go hungry

I only give my mum yearly \"hand-outs\" during CNY, since my dad passed on... I gave her his share too

[buds]

Told ya i’m insomniac!!

[buds]

Wah Zack, you lucky got mummy to manja you!

Only son?

I’m the eldest daughter but never get that kind of
manja. Told to go out and find my own geez right
after secondary school. Work study arrangement
all at own cost and time.

[buds]

ZacK:

Hey girl! Do you ever sleep or you r the forum guardian? Posted at 130am and another at 5.05am!! :shock:

Mebbe i shoud be the forum guardian eh...
Hehee..

[bratzmama]

Dear Chuanchuan

shared yr grief, i'm also facing the same exact fate s u. Even wen my DH is tired of driving the whole family for the whole day, my mil wil ask my family to sleep in the hall wile her 1st Dil gets her room eventhou the next room is empty. I have to wake up early to help her with the cooking etc,etc. But in the end i m the one who gets shun by them. Even during wedding parties she will bring only her 1st n2nd DILS. Wen i pretended to ask 1st Sil she reply me \"oh its for immediate family only. Jus imagine hw i felt its lucky that my Dh is not there to hear it. ahow i wish i cn strangle her. The treatmen goes to my chdrn to. Kip callin her favourite gransons name. Nw i hve waken up n stop to ANGKAT her ready. Tryin hard 2 make myself n my own family happy. Cheers :celebrate:

[pea]

I think that a lot of problems with in-laws arise over child-rearing. Those I know whose in-laws helped look after their kids usually have the most conflict.


When my baby came along, we had considered getting a maid and asking the grandparents to help supervise the maid. But my in-laws did not want to give up their on-the-go lifestyle, though this was their first grandchild. My parents were burnt out looking after my older sister's kids, and they were hitting 70.

So I became a SAHM. The best decision for me.

Because we have so little contact with my in-laws, we have managed to keep on cordial terms. Something that would have been unlikely if they were helping us out on a daily basis, as we have different views on childrearing. They don't criticise much, because when they do, my hubby will say :\" then you look after lah!\"

So, when my younger sister tells me about her problems with her MIL who is looking after her kid, I'll tell her to be grateful that she gets this help so she can still continue to work with peace of mind. She managed to tahan until her kid was old enough to go to full day childcare at 2.5 years old, then she managed to \"escort\" her MIL out of her house. Now relationship with her MIL is better. :lol:

[ZacK]

buds:

Wah Zack, you lucky got mummy to manja you!

Only son?

I'm the eldest daughter but never get that kind of
manja. Told to go out and find my own geez right
after secondary school. Work study arrangement
all at own cost and time.

Hahaha... Youngest lei, so pretty much able to get my way quite a bit when I was growing up :evil:

[ZacK]

buds:

ZacK:

Hey girl! Do you ever sleep or you r the forum guardian? Posted at 130am and another at 5.05am!! :shock:

Mebbe i shoud be the forum guardian eh...
Hehee..

Hahaha heavy responsibility... Perhaps if you grow wings you can write in to CKS to apply for the post lor