In-law problems?

[tree nymph]

buds:

mathsparks:

I hope that those stuck in the same situation as me find a way out like I eventually did...after so many long years.

Yes, mathsparks. I'm still cheering for tree nymph!

:rahrah: Waiting for your good news soon, piggeh! :rahrah:

Hope you're next... very very very soon!

don't think its going to be very soon... house prices is going up and up. The block that we like, the prices are up 15% from right after CNY till now. my HB kiam... else we would have bought the unit we like already and still made a profit of 15% liao!

anyway, i didn't update here a lot. A lot has happened and I did something she never thought i dare to do. So now she also knows not to push me to the corner.

[buds]

tree nymph:

that's the reason why i'm a bit siao siao right? :siao:

Aaah.. now you know why i'm as :siao: here oso right?
Same same.. :hi5:

tree nymph:

buds:

[quote=\"Mrs Ang\"]The most stupid remarks from my sils is \"why you didn't call my mother often?\" Omg!!! I don't even call my mum often since was so busy being a FTWM. Does anyone in KiasuParents forum called their mils often?

I did. At least once a week. I get her presents on her birthday. I treat her
to lunch and massage and the occasional movie treats too. But still... i am
in no way a good DIL ever in her eyes... and the fact is even clearer after
she blatantly showed how proud she was of SIL having given birth to their
ONLY grandson. Even SIL thought it felt awkward cos they've never been
close and also were at loggerheads quite often. She was the more vocal
sort of DIL and very bochap.

:laugh:

i did that too! i'm always the pusher and booker of everyone's time to make sure everyone is around for their birthday dinners, mother's day and father's day dinner! gifts and gifts - not cheap ones ok! and not to mention we have to pay up for all the dinners, SIL's whole family will get to eat free and they are not peiseh about it too.[/quote]Again... same! :hi5:

After i stopped working, most of the time hubs gotta pick up the tab.
BIL recently oso treated us once or twice once his wife started working
which i find is a nice initiative for a change.

tree nymph:

The truth is, IL only have two kids, one boy and one gal and each have three kids each. I have 2 boys and 1 gal. but MIL prefer gals!

Mine prefers boys! Just cos they don't have one. But they treat my
girls nice these past one two years. Then once the new nephew came
along, my girls became the flavour of last year liao. 1st grandson is
the new flavour of the month and has been so for the past months!

tree nymph:

i don't even have a position to say anything at all in the family!

Invisible's the word.

buds:

I never thought i wud see the day...

tree nymph:

i'm so happy for you! :rahrah: :rahrah:

Tks, tree nymph. :hugs: I am rooting for you... STILL! I hope you're
next after jeda, me, then mathsparks... jia-you! :rahrah:

[tree nymph]

mathsparks:

buds, so happy to share my joy here. Oh, the current place has always been OURS! OURS! and OURS! not HERS! NOPE! NOPE! *stomp my feet*


*phew* better now. How many years? dd already 17 le. that many years, leh. See how tolerant I am.

mathsparks,
i'm at my 10th year now... and still counting! Hope its not my 17th year wedding anniversary gift (to move out finally)!!!

:faint:


and my hb is her only son... don;t tell me that I'm stuck! For life???

:faint: :faint: :faint:

i have a nasty feeling that she will outlive me afterall! When i'm 60, she is only 85. with the way she is taking care of herself, i think she should live to a ripe old age of 100. and me? i'll probably report back when i'm 62, cos too much stress, too much pent-up anger and saddness!!!

:shock: :shock: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint:

[buds]

tree nymph:

anyway, i didn't update here a lot. A lot has happened and I did something she never thought i dare to do. So now she also knows not to push me to the corner.

YOU DID? :rubhands:

Juiceeeh..

[tree nymph]

buds:

tree nymph:

anyway, i didn't update here a lot. A lot has happened and I did something she never thought i dare to do. So now she also knows not to push me to the corner.

YOU DID? :rubhands:

Juiceeeh..

I DID! :evil: :evil: :evil:

been pushed to a very tiny corner and some how you will do something you will never think you could do or logical to do... that's what I DID. something she never think I COULD DO. and I DID.

:evil: :evil:

[hquek]

buds:

Aniwaes, hope to see the light at the other end of the tunnel soon. It's been quiet on the homefront since the decision of selling house and buying new house was laid across the table. I like the calmness and the serenity of my new found quietness these past few months.

Buds-jie,

Wise chinese man say 守得云开见月明 (half baked chinese person write may have wrong words).

You and mathsparks have held the fort and emerged victorious (albeit a bit bruised here and there). Well done, can clap yourself on the back. Happy tidings to follow thereafter! :celebrate:

[stayhome]

I have read an article of title The Dynamics of In-laws. It said that:-


1) Never be the bearer of bad news
In all things let your spouse deal with his family. He is their son, so that is already a plus on his side. Whatever he says to them will be received with more love and tolerance that what you say. It's a fact, accept.

2) Take everything with a pinch of salt
You did not grow up in his family, therefore you may not be privy to every nuance of their body language or language. They may speak a certain way that is completely natural to them nut that you might find odd or offensive. Therefore, in any situation, don't be tempted to retaliate before you've had a chance to talk to your husband. It may just a matter of familiarity.

3) Make an effort
Even though you may not love them like your own parents, you can still show love and affection to your husband's parents. Take the time to find out their favourite food or TV shows, for instance. On special occasions, give them a thoughful gift. Choose their favourite restaurant to go for family dinners.

4) Accept them for who they are
You have to face that they may never be like your own family to you. That's ok. Learn to accept their flaws and celebrate their positive points and you will be a happier daughter-in-law.

The article also gave an example:-
Alan loves his wife Beatrice very much. Beatrice does not really get along well with Alan's sisters, but because his sisters love him and know how much Beatrice means to him, they try their best to get along. The same goes for Beatrice. For her husband's sake, she tries to hide her dislike of his sisters and is cordial to them.

[hquek]

stayhome:

I have read an article of title The Dynamics of In-laws.

:goodpost: very true. I've come to accept that I'm only a DIL and her own born will always be more special to her. That said, I also make it a point to remind the forgetful son at times to invite her along when we go shopping, or get something for her that she likes.

I'm just lucky in that I don't stay with her, although our places are near. I consider myself to have best of the worlds really...although there was initial struggle when I flatly refused to give her my house keys when we first got the house. kekekekeke

[janet88]

hquek,

I’m very lucky not to stay with her…even luckier that she stays in the East and I stay in the other end.

tree nymph,
When it comes to meals, the agreement is to split the bill.
As for kids, I don’t mind mine being the flavour of last year since those paternal grandparents have never bothered to find out kids’ interests.

[Joy]

I like this article.thanks for sharing.


On second thoughts, what about those mum that is not treating their own daughter well?I have yet to read about any article on the dynamics of that.

stayhome:

I have read an article of title The Dynamics of In-laws. It said that:-

1) Never be the bearer of bad news
In all things let your spouse deal with his family. He is their son, so that is already a plus on his side. Whatever he says to them will be received with more love and tolerance that what you say. It's a fact, accept.

2) Take everything with a pinch of salt
You did not grow up in his family, therefore you may not be privy to every nuance of their body language or language. They may speak a certain way that is completely natural to them nut that you might find odd or offensive. Therefore, in any situation, don't be tempted to retaliate before you've had a chance to talk to your husband. It may just a matter of familiarity.

3) Make an effort
Even though you may not love them like your own parents, you can still show love and affection to your husband's parents. Take the time to find out their favourite food or TV shows, for instance. On special occasions, give them a thoughful gift. Choose their favourite restaurant to go for family dinners.

4) Accept them for who they are
You have to face that they may never be like your own family to you. That's ok. Learn to accept their flaws and celebrate their positive points and you will be a happier daughter-in-law.

The article also gave an example:-
Alan loves his wife Beatrice very much. Beatrice does not really get along well with Alan's sisters, but because his sisters love him and know how much Beatrice means to him, they try their best to get along. The same goes for Beatrice. For her husband's sake, she tries to hide her dislike of his sisters and is cordial to them.