$350k for 1 child?

[kaitlynangelica]

ksi,


Yes I can think of another way. If the child is enterprising. I understand that lots of teenagers these days run blogshops. If successful, perhaps they could partially support themselves. But I think that will make me feel guilty. Whatever they earn, should go into their own savings account. Just make sure that in the future, you don’t come asking me for help to foot your wedding expenses, or buy your own house.

[corneyAmber]

kaitlynangelica:

ksi,


Yes I think of another way. If the child is enterprising. I understand that lots of teenagers these days run blogshops. If successful, perhaps they could partially support themselves. But I think that will make me feel guilty. Whatever they earn, should go into their own savings account. Just make sure that in the future, you don't come asking me for help to foot your wedding expenses, or buy your own house.

Actually I see the self-financing a good way to make them better adults in future. Chances of them returning to ask for wedding expenses and buy their house would be lower if they learn how to make their money earlier because all their expectations will also be adjusted according to what they think they can afford or they would work doubly hard at their degree as they know making money is not so easy if they don't have the entrepreneur flair. There should not be guilt feelings on the parents' part cos in the past, I am sure most of us give tuition to supplement our expenses, any guilt from our parents?

[kaitlynangelica]

ksi:

kaitlynangelica:

ksi,


Yes I think of another way. If the child is enterprising. I understand that lots of teenagers these days run blogshops. If successful, perhaps they could partially support themselves. But I think that will make me feel guilty. Whatever they earn, should go into their own savings account. Just make sure that in the future, you don't come asking me for help to foot your wedding expenses, or buy your own house.

Actually I see the self-financing a good way to make them better adults in future. Chances of them returning to ask for wedding expenses and buy their house would be lower if they learn how to make their money earlier because all their expectations will also be adjusted according to what they think they can afford or they would work doubly hard at their degree as they know making money is not so easy if they don't have the entrepreneur flair. There should not be guilt feelings on the parents' part cos in the past, I am sure most of us give tuition to supplement our expenses, any guilt from our parents?

Hmm...........ksi. My parents footed all my tuition expenses. My Mum is the modern ang moh type that worked till 50 years old in a shipping company. In terms of enrichment, we got pretty much the best. But Mum is also not the traditional type who will take care of her grandchildren or take care of her daughter after delivery or miscarriage (mentioned in my earlier posts ). Uni education was definitely not an issue either. I come from a super branded school and in fact, most of my peers got to go overseas for studying, and also received help for their wedding expenses later on. Guess thats why I feel I owe it to dd.

[corneyAmber]

kaitlynangelica, I suppose our differing experiences will make our parenting style different. For me, no matter how much I can afford for her education, at an appropriate point, I will let her try to fend for herself. It is good that you are not taking things for granted albeit your parents took good care of you but children these days are overly cushy in their lives and this is a function of general affluence, not entirely their fault, so a little survival skills will serve them well.

[kaitlynangelica]

ksi:

kaitlynangelica, I suppose our differing experiences will make our parenting style different. For me, no matter how much I can afford for her education, at an appropriate point, I will let her try to fend for herself. It is good that you are not taking things for granted albeit your parents took good care of you but children these days are overly cushy in their lives and this is a function of general affluence, not entirely their fault, so a little survival skills will serve them well.

Thats true. I agree about the over cushy life. I keep telling dd that my maid will not be there forever and she has got to learn to do things herself. Am thinking of packing my maid home soon when dd is about 10 years old since we only have her. I was horrified when we went on holiday recently and I discovered that she can't do simple things like tying her own hair or shoe laces. Guess the maid has been doing it all along.

[Funz]

DH and I are keeping our eyes on our retirement as well as planning for our children’s tertiary education. We have about another 20yrs to earn what we can. So with that duration in mind, we are putting aside the necessary monies for each of us.


For us, we will try our best to support our children through their formative years. If we can, we will support them fully through their tertiary years, else it will be partially. If need be they will have to take a loan for their tertiary education and pay it off when they start work. By my kids’ time, a basic degree may not be enough but I don’t think I can see them through their masters and PHD.

Personally, I feel, though financial planning is important it should not be the main deciding factor for a couple to have kids. Oft times, we are not able to see that far into the future and we cannot predict how our earnings will increase or decrease. I have friends who keep saying they cannot afford to have kids in their 20s and early 30s and until now in their late 30s, they feel that financially they are finally more comfortable but they have problems conceiving.

I will be very sad if my kids hate me just cos I am unable afford swimming or piano lessons or not able to give them a carefree uni education. Not everyone in this world have that privilege.

I do not see anything wrong in kids seeing themselves through their tertiary years. I did that and so did DH. DH did begrudge his parents the fact that they did not provide him an easier tertiary life. They did however make sure that he grew up healthy, gave him a roof over his head, tried within their means to guide him, supported his education up to at least ‘O’ levels. But hey, if his parents thought that hard about their financial situation, he may not have been born and there goes our kids too.

[HyperKiasu]

Charmaine_chong:

I am hoping my kids able to get scholarship for their university. Otherwise, will most likely compromise with local university.

if it is law school or medical school of local U, still a compromise?? :?

[kaitlynangelica]

Hi Funz,


yes. While it shouldn’t be the only factor, I think parents -to-be have to be at least aware of the potential costs. What I was refering to was ppl who blindly have them in the name of having a complete family. And then get shocked later on that costs are so high or that kids these days need tuition.

[kaitlynangelica]

HyperKiasu:

Charmaine_chong:

I am hoping my kids able to get scholarship for their university. Otherwise, will most likely compromise with local university.

if it is law school or medical school of local U, still a compromise?? :?

Heard that nowadays, local u not easy to get in. I have a colleague, said his son got 10 points for O levels, couldn't get into any JC.

[HyperKiasu]

ksi:

Actually I see the self-financing a good way to make them better adults in future. Chances of them returning to ask for wedding expenses and buy their house would be lower if they learn how to make their money earlier because all their expectations will also be adjusted according to what they think they can afford or they would work doubly hard at their degree as they know making money is not so easy if they don't have the entrepreneur flair. There should not be guilt feelings on the parents' part cos in the past, I am sure most of us give tuition to supplement our expenses, any guilt from our parents?

in fact, i will feel guilty if i don't guide my children lead a life independently as early as possible ....