How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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@Esteema, sorry I missed your earlier posts about your mum. Must have been pretty tough for you and the family.
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ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059598\" time=\"1645542605\" user_id=\"3:
Sorry to hear about your stroke. My late grandma had a stroke and it happened so suddenly(to us it was sudden as we had not seen any symptoms) one night when she got up to use the toilet. It seemed that it was discovered late so by the time she got to the hospital, half her body was not able to move anymore including her speech. So it was good to know that you have detected yours quickly enough as I now know F.A.S.T (Face, Arms, Speech, Time) is very important when one has a stroke.
The stroke I had 3 years ago made me forget what I'm talking about even in my normal conversations. It is just a blank. It happens less often now, but it is still happening. I have to learn different strategies to overcome it... eg. I won't forget if I write it down. The good thing is that it only happens if I'm speaking; writing seems ok. Phew.
But if I'm arranging for a meeting... you better make sure I actually put it down in my calendar... otherwise...
Just wondering, did you have any signs that warned you prior to the stroke? -
ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059611\" time=\"1645577520\" user_id=\"3:
Thank you Chief! Build resilience & character, though was crying like nobody’s bz back then.
@Esteema, sorry I missed your earlier posts about your mum. Must have been pretty tough for you and the family.
You also take care huh 🙏🏻 -
Estéema\" post_id=\"2059604\" time=\"1645545537\" user_id=\"66413:
It's good that you are sharing your experiences with others. Recently, we also got a Myanmar helper to look after my mum. It has been very difficult communicating with her now as she could not remember who I am sometimes. So at the start of every conversation was to let her recall who I was first and walked through the family tree with her to recap.
Now, when I see someone struggling with dementia elderlies, I’ll go to the very ends to help.
So, recently, managed to persuade a frd to release her current helper who physically abused her dementia mum after getting her a Mynmar helper to take over. She was initially in self-denial to release coz she had been stressed for more than 2 years as caregiver, so she fear left with no help. That’s when I discovered there’re so many Mynmar girls alr got their passports ready since last Dec. now I’ve a few at hand to help others.
My learning journey must be made worthwhile and to count in my life. -
sushi88\" post_id=\"2059620\" time=\"1645582609\" user_id=\"100857:
Anytime u need someone to chat or get some ideas how to handle, just ask or pm me if u need. Always hv a frd to journey together will be easier to bear.
It's good that you are sharing your experiences with others. Recently, we also got a Myanmar helper to look after my mum. It has been very difficult communicating with her now as she could not remember who I am sometimes. So at the start of every conversation was to let her recall who I was first and walked through the family tree with her to recap. -
I am very lucky that both mum and dad are still relatively healthy. Both are kinda hard on hearing so talking to them is a very loud affair. Dad is in his 80s now, he did say that his brain is foggy these days. Told us that he needs time to process what we say and to only tell him 1 thing at a time. Conversations with him can get pretty funny because of all the misheard stuff. Both have their usual aches and pains that comes with age but both are still mobile without major ailments, no 三高。
Dad planned his retirement well. He retired at the age of 55 and is financially sound, even able to go on holidays with us every year. We want to pay for him and mum but he insisted on paying. He is a pensioner so medical for him and mum is all taken care of. He had a triple bypass done when he was 70yrs old, class A ward, specialist doc, etc. All covered. We signed a ton of papers and when the bill came, it was $26. Will never forget how amazed we were. When he was younger he was mindful on his expenditures. Since retiring he is bordering on extravagant especially when it comes to feeding his grandchildren. Because of how well he planned his finances, we, his children don’t have to worry about that.
Mum is in her 70s. Mind is still as sharp. She has always been pretty good with numbers. When I brought her to sign up for a mobile plan, she took 1 glance at her new mobile number can could remember it. Me, until today, 3mths down I still cannot remember her number. Someone mentioned 4D, yup, mum is a 4D aficionado. She will buy multiple sets of numbers in all sorts of permutation and remember all of them. Can even remember what numbers came out 2 or 3 weeks ago. She remembers all the birthdays and anniversaries of not just her own children and grandchildren but her sons-in-law, our cousins, their children, etc. -
funz
you are blessed
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My parents are a bit like funz in terms of health. Both 80s dad no known ailments or pain however mom has 2 highs…been taking medication and her organs are deteriorating we know. My dad still very perky and sharp. Mom I feel a bit lonely as all her elder and younger siblings are gone. Both parents enjoy playing mahjong and I make it a point to play w them almost every weekend or monthly. Till now, my dad is still the sharpest in the game, he can read our tiles and know what tiles we gonna discard or looking to win. Needless to say, he’s usually the biggest winner, even my bil who plays poker/daidi by reading cards intelligently also no match in mahjong compared to dad.
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sushi88\" post_id=\"2059620\" time=\"1645582609\" user_id=\"100857:
This must be so hard on you. You are a good child, making the effort to connect.
It's good that you are sharing your experiences with others. Recently, we also got a Myanmar helper to look after my mum. It has been very difficult communicating with her now as she could not remember who I am sometimes. So at the start of every conversation was to let her recall who I was first and walked through the family tree with her to recap.
Esteema, I cant imagine the sorrow and struggle you must have faced. Thanks for sharing.
My dad is in his early stages alzheimer's, I found it so hard to believe. He has been an emotional support, so for me to come to terms with this was very hard. Just 5-6 years back , I used to rely on him for some of my financial dealings. He had to nag me on my premiums, and other stuff. And today I have to take care of his finances.
Alzheimers is not just forgetfulness. One can say it is more of confusion, cloudy, being blur. Same thing that is confusing today , they may recall the next day with clarity.
I remember during our circuit breaker period, we would all do some exercise. Dad's job was to be the timer-- look at the clock and tell us how many seconds had passed at intervals. So when we ( the kids and I ) did planks , he was supposed to tell us the time. One day he was quite, I grunted - pa, is it not even 30s? he was silent. And then after a few seconds he asked -- S, how to tell time?
The man on whose lap I sat and learnt to tell time, suddenly forgot how an analogous clock worked.
Next day , it he was ok, he could remember it . He always has his watch on him. How terrifying it must be to realise you are forgetting the basic things. When he gets stressed , it gets worse.
My dad is very well read especially about health. He has been telling ( nagging) on what foods to eat for the past two decades. He has told me hip:waist ratio and omega 3 omega 6, alkaline food, even in the early 2000s when this was not so much in the media. He has even spoken to me about alzhemir's :sad: When the doctor told me he might have dementia, I refused to believe - Not my dad, no, no. The doctor mentioned that it is harder to find symptoms in intellectuals cause they would figure out a way to overcome/cover up their confusion. It often takes a trained person to find out.
What is hard to accept is that it will get worse. You can try very hard to engage him, keep him active, it might slow down the process if at all but it will keep getting worse. He gets quiter and quiter by the day. :gloomy:
Covid19 has meant we have cut down on our daily walks - he doesnt like to go out at all. But work from home has meant , I get to spend some time with in during the day, I can guidehim with his exercise class, his chanting.
When he cracks a silly joke and laughs, it fill my heart. When he comes and sits near me and asks me , \"what happened, you look worried?\" Only he can see thru me intuitively , not even my mum. I feel blessed to have him near me. It may not be for long, but right now I still need him.
Awww, got a bit emotional today .... -
:snuggles: it is really not easy.. :sad:
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