Raffles Girls' School (Secondary) [*IP]
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edelmummy\" post_id=\"2065959\" time=\"1651397538\" user_id=\"29263:
It is a major adjustment from P6 to Year 1. Your daughter just needs the time and space to adjust to the increased subject count, overwhelming workload and new school culture.
hi
any parents can share on home tuition for sec 1 math and science? my girl is not coping very well with all the homework and losing track of time..any parents can share tips of their y1 kiddos?
(1) Time management skills -- work on a time table with your daughter.
(2) Communication -- be a good listener and be less quick to judge. you can try talking about the differences between her previous school and RGS in your daily conversations
(3) Set boundaries -- be firm. If she cross the boundaries, then her privileges are taken away. The children have to learn that actions have consequences, and learn from their mistakes. -
edelmummy\" post_id=\"2065959\" time=\"1651397538\" user_id=\"29263:
Go to the root cause of her problem. This is cruicial. You need to help her, identify the root cause of her problem. What causes her to lose time ? Nip the problem quickly, before it escalate into further bigger future problem (headache)
hi
any parents can share on home tuition for sec 1 math and science? my girl is not coping very well with all the homework and losing track of time..any parents can share tips of their y1 kiddos?
Entrance from P6 to Sec 1,is a big transition for them,
Because
they are moving from 4 PSLE subjects to Sec 1 (8 or 9 subjects)
Is it
1) handphone addiction?
Spending too much time on her handphone, until she lost control with time ?
2) too many things piled up on her plate ? That means, she is getting herself involved with too many activities, until burnout. Sometimes, students themselves don't even know that they are engaged in far too many activities.
Why ?
Because
Many RGS pupils just keep pushing themselves to do this, do that, because they see their peers / fellow classmates doing so many things, and they thought that it is the norm. Often, they forgotten that their body also need rest.
Some RGS pupils are also perfectionists, so they tend to have
a) high expectation of themselves,
b) because of parental expectations,
c) because of society.
Because of expectations, coming from a Top IP school culture.
Eg.
overloading of Cca commitment
+
overloading of other RGS school commitments
+
overloading of too many Tuition subject lessons per week, until she so exhausted, no time no energy to do school homework?
3) how is the relationship between family members ?
A stable family environment, is also very important.
But, if a family
- always frequent quarrelling
between husband & wife,
Or
- rivalry between siblings,
Or
- lack of love & communication, inside the family
psychologically, this will have some bearing (impact) on your daughter. Teen can become rebellious, because of the unhappy family background she is in, but she doesn't know how to describe or articulate it out herself.
4) manage your mother-daughter relationship well. Manage her vulnerable, roller coaster emotions & mental state of mind.
Keep the communication channel between mom & daughter, open with love. You (mother) are her closest source of support now. Look at her effort chipped in. Don't look at the end point (results) only.
Remember.
Affirm, affirm, affirm her always, for the effort she chipped in learning. Even if she don't do well, never mind. Tell her it is all right, it is ok even if results in RGS are mediocre. But affirm her, of her effort, her hard work put in.
5) identify, amongst her (8 or 9 subjects) now, which is her weakest subject or the subject she spent most of her time struggling in, currently ?
Can consider hiring a private tuition Tr for that subject which she is weakest in, go to your house to tuition her. This is a temporary solution. Once she re-gain back confidence in her weakest subject later on, u can later shift her back to group tuition method.
6) manage parental expectations of teenagers.
Father-daughter relationship, are also important.
But to teens (girls), somehow, whenever girls have issue, it is normally the mother-daughter relationship.
============================
The first big transition occurred, from P6 entering Sec 1.
The second critical big transition, will occur from the end of Sec 2, entering into Sec 3, because many students now adolescents, struggled to find their own identity : who am I ? They think they are adults, because of their height & going through puberty. But some of them, are still children inside their body.
When young, people often heard of \"terrible twos\", for two year old toddlers who are disobedient.
For teens, there is this terrible \"Sec 2s, entering into Sec 3s\".
Tiger-moms out there, be alert !
If in the past, up to PSLE year, your daughter see u as controlling them, when they come to Sec 2, all the more, they start to \"rebel\".
Why ?
Because
In the midst of seeking their own identity, they hate people whom they deem as \"controlling\" them, or \"micro-manage\" them. -
edelmummy\" post_id=\"2065959\" time=\"1651397538\" user_id=\"29263:
Hi edelmummy,
hi
any parents can share on home tuition for sec 1 math and science? my girl is not coping very well with all the homework and losing track of time..any parents can share tips of their y1 kiddos?
Phttp gives good advice! My girl just turned 14 and I am tearing my hair out with the eye-rolling, the drama, the non-stop texting, the complete refusal to do anything we the parents say... this is weird for us cuz just 2 years ago our daughter was a docile, hardworking P6 girl.
Now she wont do any homework. All her weighted assessments are sitting on her desk and she wont do it until 1 day before they are due. Actually 1 night before they are due. I keep asking her what her friends are doing and she shrugs, \"Same.\" We are thinking of moving to a larger house although the market is crazy because we cant stand the sound of our teenager talking and laughing on late night calls.
I tried taking away her phone, but read that if you do so, teenagers wont know how to cope with phone + studies as they grow older. Also, she kept whining about how she would be a social outcast without her phone. So I gave it back.
The only saving grace is she has decent friends (not sure about Sec 3 next year though!) and still doing pretty well in school. God knows how, she shows no sign of studying and has no tuition. Maybe she studies at school or when we are asleep at 1am. -
Toomuchlaundry\" post_id=\"2066007\" time=\"1651453975\" user_id=\"197996:
Can she finish all her homework or assessments on the due day or before the deadline?
Now she wont do any homework. All her weighted assessments are sitting on her desk and she wont do it until 1 day before they are due. Actually 1 night before they are due. -
Yes for WA, nope for homework!
Once I saw her type an email to her teacher, she forgot to do her homework as she didnt see the email. She added lots of smiley faces and wished the teacher Happy Weekend.
Her Sec 2 grades were fine though. I read Parenting with Love and Logic which says it’s good to let the kids deal with the consequences of their actions, without me fixing things if they go wrong. If something goes wrong, they can link it to their action and hopefully learn something. So who knows? Time to learn a little self discipline. -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2066011\" time=\"1651457939\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2066011 time=1651457939 user_id=195250]
Just like how we can always manage to rush our work or presentations when needed to, yes the kids can rush out something but unless the kid is a genius, qty of work won’t be fantastic.
Can she finish all her homework or assessments on the due day or before the deadline?[/quote]
And that’s why we hear of horror stories like Staying up till x am for IP schools. Sometimes it’s not the amount of work, just how kids define time management these days.
Rgs has many “ interesting” AAs which suck up more time than actually revising and preparing for the PPAs. Worse for upper secondary when they have to manage 5-6 AAs for the various sciences, maths and other subjects concurrently. Each of these AAs may involve research, experiments, prototype design, video making, report writing etc. And when procrastination is their good friend, how not to stay up till 1-2 am to rush something out? -
newbieks\" post_id=\"2066015\" time=\"1651460195\" user_id=\"178749:
Different people handle things differently, and for some, working at the last minute is a way of life. But not everyone likes it or has that kind of last-minute stamina. My family generally likes to get things done ahead of time, although some last-minute work might have to be done, but we like to avoid it if possible.
Just like how we can always manage to rush our work or presentations when needed to, yes the kids can rush out something but unless the kid is a genius, qty of work won’t be fantastic.
And that’s why we hear of horror stories like Staying up till x am for IP schools. Sometimes it’s not the amount of work, just how kids define time management these days.
Rgs has many “ interesting” AAs which suck up more time than actually revising and preparing for the PPAs. Worse for upper secondary when they have to manage 5-6 AAs for the various sciences, maths and other subjects concurrently. Each of these AAs may involve research, experiments, prototype design, video making, report writing etc. And when procrastination is their good friend, how not to stay up till 1-2 am to rush something out?
My younger girl was in RGS, RI and later in a highly-ranked university - she generally managed to get to bed by 11pm, even in the run-up to deadlines and exams. She probably went past midnight fewer than 10 times in her years in RGS and RI. So it can be done.
We helped her develop good phone habits when she first got her phone, and she maintained those all those years (she's nearly 23 now) even though we relaxed our vigilance and she's been managing on her own since around 16. Doing it early, with the child's buy-in, pays off in the end. If parents have a good and trusted relationship with the kids, they can understand that discipline is important and is for their own good even if they don't like it and they will grumble. But they will thank you in the end. -
Toomuchlaundry\" post_id=\"2066014\" time=\"1651459099\" user_id=\"197996:
Then you can remind her not to forget to do her homework in future otherwise she has to add more smiley faces to her teacher. Ask her to list down all the WA and Homework on her notebook and check the list by the end of the day to see whether she has miss out any of these listed items.
Yes for WA, nope for homework!
Once I saw her type an email to her teacher, she forgot to do her homework as she didnt see the email. She added lots of smiley faces and wished the teacher Happy Weekend.
Her Sec 2 grades were fine though. I read Parenting with Love and Logic which says it's good to let the kids deal with the consequences of their actions, without me fixing things if they go wrong. If something goes wrong, they can link it to their action and hopefully learn something. So who knows? Time to learn a little self discipline. -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2066025\" time=\"1651467473\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2066025 time=1651467473 user_id=195250]
Maybe the teacher will be kind to be amused. But I can imagine other teachers may be less than amused.
Then you can remind her not to forget to do her homework in future otherwise she has to add more smiley faces to her teacher. Ask her to list down all the WA and Homework on her notebook and check the list by the end of the day to see whether she has miss out any of these listed items.[/quote]
Honestly pigs will fly before she gets a notebook or writes in it :yikes: Say notebook to a teenager and they think immediately of a laptop. -
Toomuchlaundry\" post_id=\"2066027\" time=\"1651468855\" user_id=\"197996:
There are other ways of making notes. My daughter makes use of \"sticky notes\" on her laptop, and I'm sure there are other digital ways on tablet, phone or laptop.
Maybe the teacher will be kind to be amused. But I can imagine other teachers may be less than amused.
Honestly pigs will fly before she gets a notebook or writes in it :yikes: Say notebook to a teenager and they think immediately of a laptop.
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