$350k for 1 child?
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HyperKiasu:
Maintanence $ is the least of the issues, HyperKiasu.tnx for sharing
actually i think if $ is the problem, solve it with $....
actually during my early marriage life, i also quarrelled with my DH over $ issue, but as time pass by, i learn to compromise and become less $ sensitive....
I'm speaking of $ problems related to gambling, excessive need to smoke
and drink, excessive need to charge credit to purchase tons of items and
this is something that cannot always just solve $ issues with well... money.
I dun quarrel over $ issues. Hubs is the one who gets into them for
insisting he has his own family to care for so while he still gives it may not
be everything he owns like when he was still single. Yah... everything. :lol:
Hence, since new family has come to stir old family.. :lol: ... of couse all
the buey-song-ness will trickle down to me a bit, but i try not to bother
abt these stuff. I let him deal with it. :evil: I'm in noooo position to even
interfere. :lol: -
deminc:
Maybe I'm too much of an optimist!
I tend to see the good than worry about bad motives.
That is a good thing, deminc not a flaw definitely. :love:
Especially with family, there shouldn't be such worries of
bad motives or issues of calculativeness. -
kaitlynangelica:
ok, i owed up. I kept the receipt from Guardian when I bought the test kit and thereafter, ALL the receipts from every single visits till i gave birth at the hospital and all the medical receipts and everything else. I plan to ask my kids to pay hb and me back AS SOON AS they start to work. Oh, you have to include compounded interest too and maybe I should also throw in the opportunity cost?? I wonder if each of my kids will be able to repay me every single cent in my remaining years....
Buds and Tam,
I beg to differ. Yes I agree that children should never take anything for granted. I keep reminding my daughter that she is very very fortunate unlike the children in our maid's country who mostly don't have an opportunity for a good education. I teach her kindness through other methods like encouraging her to give away her old things to our maid or to share her things with others. I point out the less fortunate to her like the old man who has to sell tissue on the roadside. My aim is just to pass on the correct values to her, and not to reap something in return. Whatever is within our means, we will give to her.
I disagree with keeping all the recipts just to show them in future. From the day me and dh decided to have dd, we agreed that we will give her unconditional love without being calculative.
How would you feel if your parents fished out all the receipts or kept track of all the expenses that they had incurred over raising us? I would be hurt and disgusted.
Likewise, I just think that if we are calculative with them, they will be calculative with us in the future.
:faint:
if I were to expect to take back anything from them, i might as well don't have kids and just park my money in the bank with a very low interest rate and go for tour/trips every other month!
Not one of our postings said that we will be using that receipts and ask money back from our kids. We are discussing methods to impart values that we treasure most to our kids. I really don't think any one of us here are using this as a method to get back their money spent on the kids. Anyway, I don't think the kids will ever be able to pay us back on what we have put in on them. Same for what our parents had done for us! -
dimsum:
All your girls are so ζδΊ! I will have to work on this blessing aspect with my DS so that he won't take things for granted.
None of us should take things for granted, yeah?
dimsum:
:hugs:Thanks for sharing!
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tree nymph:
Same for what our parents had done for us!
Spot on, tree nymph! :celebrate:
And your post was funny! Sure lightened up my mood, sista! Tks.. :hugs: -
buds:
i don't cook. But we have two maids - one for the kids and one for my PIL. Both of them will have to share out the household chores and the maid serving my PIL will have to cook as well.
Although we're under one roof with PILs, they get to enjoy my cooking.
Even when i was still working, i cook.buds:
:hi5:
Emergency care we don't need cos we usually sort it between ourselves.
(hubs & i) Worst case scenario, my own parents. So, in our case
we sorta live independently are not handicapped in any way tho' we're
under one roof. They have the sheltered life if you ask me, not being
thrown in the wild to fend for themselves.
same here. In fact, my MIL can go out for tea, gatherings, and golf almost everyday and is really living it up as a true blue tai tai. While I was pregnant, she also didn't specially boil anything for me to drink or things like that. during my confinement, she does not lift a finger to help out to look after the kids, or go to market to buy fresh ingredients or did anything small thing like what most MIL will do.
For the record, and i can really stand up here and say it out for everyone to see, I have to buy everything in the house, from the toilet paper to replacing the washing machine. Even we i was 39 weeks pregnant, I still have to go to the wet market to get stuff for the dinning table, not to mention buying bags of 10kg of rice and bringing them back from the supermarket. So I drive, but i still need to lift the heavy stuff up and put into the car right. Even the fishmonger in the market told me how come i'm still doing all these stuff, how come my MIL didn't even help out? On the third day after giving birth, I'm back to supermarket and the wet market getting stuff liao!
But, when any one of my PIL is sick, I am also the one to bring them to see the doc. My kids entertain them so much that the house is deadly quiet without them around.
My PIL just plan their own time and enjoy their life. No worries. And if there are any emergency in childcare, my mum helps.
In my case, I really think that my PIL benefit from us staying with them MORE. -
markfch:
Take time to read the ILs thread and you'll know what i mean.. :evil: :lol:buds:
I can get along with my ILs. They are the ones who cannot get along with me.
Haha buds, very funny way of putting it. It's like I got into a fight, punch my friend and then complain that my friend uses his face to hit my fist :rotflmao: (joking only )
Hey, i'm the kind who can take jokes wan, markfch! :celebrate:
In fact, i know your kind too! Like ZacK, Way2GO & even Chief
alike... all you guys take suuuweeeet pleasure in getting that
chance to take a poke at me. So back at ya, bro! :pokeeye:
Hahaa! :rotflmao: -
I think keeping receipts is a very good idea! I didn't keep and regret it now...:(
I've seen cases whereby parents keep giving and giving selflessly (where they can), but kids keep taking and taking, and end up, too lazy to work for themselves, and live off the parents...a few of my cousins are still living off their parents even though they have few kids...and one of my cousins whose mum and dad is sloging off working from day to nite, to earn $$ so that they dun have to depend on their children. and guess what? my cousin is already 25, and he is still taking money from my uncle and aunt. His wife is currently preggie, and my aunt is supporting them financially.
I think instilling good value is very important. just by teaching a child that she/he is very fortunate (got food, accomodation, education, etc) is not enough. they have to understand it. I can tell my boy that he has food to eat, etc, I can say that A LOT of times, and he will keep agreeing with me (and find me a nag), but until he experience the hunger, he will never understand that (he still waste his food sometimes). of course I'm not saying that you should let your children go hungry lah. I'm still finding ways to make him understand.
nowadays, when we go out, he keeps asking me to bring him to restaurant (partly my fault of frequently bring him restaurants when he was younger cos of the babychair issue lah), I told him I dun have $$, and we are going to eat at kopitiam/food junction/hawker, but he just refuses. -
tree nymph:
In my case, I really think that my PIL benefit from us staying with them MORE.
Ditto everything you shared, tree nymph.. same with me here.
People wanna say i bad DIL oso nehmind, cos it's this DIL who
still care for them when they're unwell. They didn't give me an
easy time being DIL and they for sure didnt provide the 350k
for everyone of their children including hubs... but hey who's
counting, right?
Psst, tree nymph sista.. must add the 350k statement in once in
a while or else you go waaayyy OT. The walls have ears and the
mobs... err.. mods.. :siam: ... have eyes.. you've been warned! :rotflmao: -
buds:
ok, then maybe i should add...
Ditto everything you shared, tree nymph.. same with me here.
People wanna say i bad DIL oso nehmind, cos it's this DIL who
still care for them when they're unwell. They didn't give me an
easy time being DIL and they for sure didnt provide the 350k
for everyone of their children including hubs... but hey who's
counting, right?
Psst, tree nymph sista.. must add the 350k statement in once in
a while or else you go waaayyy OT. The walls have ears and the
mobs... err.. mods.. :siam: ... have eyes.. you've been warned! :rotflmao:
maybe I should at $350k for staying with them?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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