Discipline
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Nowadays, in sec school, there are weighted assessment which are take home work. Wonder if school fully explains what students can and cannot do and the differences among, tests/exams, take home work and project work which are weighted. Will teenagers get mixed up?
In our era, we do not have so many different types of assessment. -
I am not working in a school but while cheating is undesirable, I am always under the impression that school is a forgiving place and a place where you can afford to make mistakes, learn and move on being a better person. I don’t think we should equate it to a workplace or external envnmt where there are no second chances.
In this case, he did not cheat per se. He was just being ignorant of the consequences of revealing the exam questions/answers to his friends. It could be done in jest, it could be done for various reasons (ask him) .Ultimately he did not benefit at all so why should the punishment be so harsh. I think what you can do here is to appeal to the school not to remove his captaincy as it meant the world to him and to show his remorse, perhaps get your son to acknowledge his "moment of folly" in a heartfelt letter, promise nvr to do again and to accept any other forms of punishment that would be meted out. Good luck in your appeal. -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2068064\" time=\"1652978059\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2068064 time=1652978059 user_id=195250]
Govt service for 24 years ? How can you compare a 15 year old to a 40 year old ? Does adulthood equate to teenage? Then why are the teenagers made out to be such a big deal? Why have the psychologists written books about how to deal with them? And a job in public eye where you are being paid public money for your salary, is same as a captain of a small school team? How can you compare the punishment from one to another?
Hi PsMom,
It is a question of how you define the word \" Integrity\" and \"Cheating \". To me, \"Cheating\" is a serious offence and as a captain or a leader, there are some essential or basic requirements on their personality and Integrity is a MUST.
I am very sorry to say that, but I have been working for the Government more than twenty four years and we know there is 0 tolerance of any form of cheating in our working place and I experienced a few colleagues were terminated on spot because of some forms of dishonest behaviour.
How to lead a group or how the other classmates will listen to a captain or leader when they know the captain/leader may cheat?
Since what has happened had happened, just ask your DS to take it as a lesson and never never commit any dishonest behaviour again.
If the counsellor think that your DS need more counselling, he/she may arrange another visit for your DS.
I understand the scars on your DS cannot be disappeared tomorrow, but we can look at it from another angle, your DS has learnt the serious consequences of cheating and he will NOT do it again for the rest of his life.[/quote]
Is this how we deal with people in one of the most sensitive stages of their lives? Has pandemic tauught us nothing? What happened at River Valley school was a first of its kind, in Singapore, right? Why did it happen? Doesn't looks like anyone learnt anything from the event, just suppressed it as a one time thing? -
Cheating is an offence, for whatever reasons behind, it is Wrong. The boy is given chances as the school is not kicking him out of the school, he can continue his study but only remove his captaincy. The school has to do so to "kill one to warn a hundred" - to emphasis to all students - Cheating is not acceptable.
In my opinion, if the parents appeal to the school - showing the parents are not aware the important of Integrity and unwilling to admit the serious of their kids misconduct. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2068070\" time=\"1653000230\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2068070 time=1653000230 user_id=53606]
Please. I didnt ask for a judgement on my parenting style so keep your opinions about what I said to him or emphasized to him, to yourself .
I agree with LNW above. It is a major offence in any school or organization’s rule book (see example here: https://teckwhyesec.moe.edu.sg/students/rules-guidance-and-procedure/school-rules-and-regulations/minor-and-major-offences/)
More importantly consider it a chance to reflect on why it was morally wrong of him to do so (u do not seem to have emphasized this to him). Correct it now before adulthood please. Look at the ones named & shamed for cheating in the bar exam. I wouldnt trust them with my money anytime.[/quote]
I thought this was a safe community to come and ask questions. I was not asking for opinions on parenting. A one time mistake does not make a child bad and a parent useless. Second chances are fair, specially when the offender does not even fully understand the consequence of what they did. Like another mom said here, Schools are supposed to be 'safe' places. They certainly are the ones to be used as weapons to kill the kid's spirit to live or scar them forver. -
Your son has leadership potential. What he chooses to do with those leadership skills is important to society isnt it? Lead others to do bad or do good?
There is no honor or respect for a soccer team if they win thru eg match fixing or dubious means. I hope he can learn that respect and admiration from others can be earned thru good ways. He doesnt have to resort to leaking qns. -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2068079\" time=\"1653006529\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2068079 time=1653006529 user_id=195250]
Cheating is wrong and he was punished in multiple ways- by downgrading his grade for conduct, by suspension and by getting 0 on exam he cheated on. Stripping him of captaincy sounds like a 'revenge' seeking to me. I wonder if someone else would have been given a lighter slap on wrist like detention, community service or such for a first time offence . No warning?? No counseling? Straight Stripping of leadership? Does that happen in your office? Employees straight away fired and shamed? Not even a warning ?
Cheating is an offence, for whatever reasons behind, it is Wrong. The boy is given chances as the school is not kicking him out of the school, he can continue his study but only remove his captaincy. The school has to do so to \"kill one to warn a hundred\" - to emphasis to all students - Cheating is not acceptable.
In my opinion, if the parents appeal to the school - showing the parents are not aware the important of Integrity and unwilling to admit the serious of their kids misconduct.[/quote] -
Let’s chill and do not extrapolate. We can keep it at ‘a 15 y/o does not understand the consequences of his "well-intentions" to help his friend out who did not study?’. We all have done 'bad things when growing up right? Who never steal candy from mama shop before? At 17, I even openly scratched an obnoxious girl’s locker at school and tore off her idol poster on her locker just because I hated her guts…it doesn’t mean I am a bad person now.i was just having serious teenage angst issues amidst all the hard/metal rock songs that I was exposed to.
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PsMom\" post_id=\"2068080\" time=\"1653006582\" user_id=\"178612:
You have not explained what your child's thoughts were while he commited those offences? Did he know that he was not supposed to do those things, and that some transgressions are considered more serious than others? He may not have realised the full consequences of his actions, but if he knew that he should not have done this, it does show a lack of respect for rules. And by Sec 3, it should be assumed that he realises that any cheating in tests is considered as a very serious offence. Has he deliberately disregarded rules before? All these will be taken in account when deciding on penalties. If he can truly say that he did not know that it was wrong, he could possibly appeal, but I think most of the penalties will still have to stand.
A one time mistake does not make a child bad and a parent useless. Second chances are fair, specially when the offender does not even fully understand the consequence of what they did. Like another mom said here, Schools are supposed to be 'safe' places. They certainly are the ones to be used as weapons to kill the kid's spirit to live or scar them forver.
I think the penalties imposed by the school are fair, however painful to your son. They cannot be seen to take such things lightly, including allowing him to continue in a leadership position. The message sent to all the other students would be that \"you can always transgress once without much penalty\". Yes, there should be second chances, and a one-time mistake/transgression does not make him a 'bad' child, but I think the second chance will have to 'earned' again by future conduct. In his case, as his time in this school is short, the second chance will have to earned in his next school. -
PsMom\" post_id=\"2068078\" time=\"1653006228\" user_id=\"178612:
Dear PsMom, I can understand the frustration you must have gone through managing your teenager. I agree the punishment is harsh, but I also agree that it will be difficult to leave someone who is not trustworthy in a leadership role.
Govt service for 24 years ? How can you compare a 15 year old to a 40 year old ? Does adulthood equate to teenage? Then why are the teenagers made out to be such a big deal? Why have the psychologists written books about how to deal with them? And a job in public eye where you are being paid public money for your salary, is same as a captain of a small school team? How can you compare the punishment from one to another?
Is this how we deal with people in one of the most sensitive stages of their lives? Has pandemic tauught us nothing? What happened at River Valley school was a first of its kind, in Singapore, right? Why did it happen? Doesn't looks like anyone learnt anything from the event, just suppressed it as a one time thing?
I'm not sure if a period suspension of duties as the \"captain of the team\" will do the trick, as someone else would become captain in the meantime so it will be difficult to change that. Perhaps what can be done is for your son to think about the seriousness of what he has done, accept the consequences, and sincerely repent. Then he can compete for the captainship again with the full trust of the school. That is what I think the school should allow, and not simply a permanent ban.
We all make mistakes when we are young, and to learn from them, we must accept the consequences of our mistakes. Your son is an excellent student, and might have thought nothing of the consequences of telling others about the test questions. Fortunately he is caught, and he must learn the consequences of what he has done.
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