Me Time!
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zac's mum\" post_id=\"2072170\" time=\"1656422073\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2072170 time=1656422073 user_id=53606]
Your description reminds me of DS younger times at home with me. S'times, I can’t even do my cook, cakes or floral arrangements w/o his interruptions despite a glass panel at kitchen where he can see my presence fr the living room. Hence, I’ll try to involve him in some of my prep processes. Even now, fr time to time, I’ll involve him in my gardening process if it’s sth to learn or harvest for family meals. When I had to concentrate in assembling my creations, I’ll arrange for DH or MIL to engage him.
Regarding the part in light blue…when you are reading your book alone, does your extrovert child not come and want to talk to you? I have tried so many times to explain that I need my introvert time. Yet DS “needs” to come and talk to me about whatever he’s reading/watching. Then when I plead for some peace and quiet, he will point out that human interactions are his way of recharging so would I please let him tell me about it :frustrated:
The only time I can truly read in peace is while he’s in school (so glad June hols are over!) And from Sec 1 onwards, that will be longer hours so yay.[/quote]
Still rmbr I did hv lots of ME TIME where DH wld bring kids out for ice cream or tea at Starbucks so I can get my facial or massage done. Thankful that DH & I started our parenting with the co-parenting mindset which we adopted fr our well respected pastoral pre-marriage course.
So, maybe can get sth he can engage if he has interest or assign him sth as impt tasks to be delivered to grandma/grandpa, cousin’s bday etc so he can concentrate w/o being clingy. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2072170\" time=\"1656422073\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2072170 time=1656422073 user_id=53606]
When I was small, I always wanted to share my daily activities and my feelings with my private tutor but she had to spend her time to guide me on Maths not listening to my stories.
Regarding the part in light blue…when you are reading your book alone, does your extrovert child not come and want to talk to you? I have tried so many times to explain that I need my introvert time. Yet DS “needs” to come and talk to me about whatever he’s reading/watching. Then when I plead for some peace and quiet, he will point out that human interactions are his way of recharging so would I please let him tell me about it :frustrated:
The only time I can truly read in peace is while he’s in school (so glad June hols are over!) And from Sec 1 onwards, that will be longer hours so yay.[/quote]
However, she was so kind and suggested I could write down all my stories in a letter to her and she would read it before she went to bed. She also gave me reply letters usually giving me some encouragement words. And this was carried out for 2 years until she got a full time job and no longer working as tutor.
You may try to ask Zac to write down what he wants to say in a love letter to you and you can reply with some suggestions and encouragement. Hope you and Zac can enjoy the fun for this \"love letter \" interactions. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2072170\" time=\"1656422073\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2072170 time=1656422073 user_id=53606]
My extrovert is not extremely extrovert, so maybe the issue hasn't been as bad. But as they get older, they need to learn to take into account parents' needs too, and not expect parents to always bend to theirs. He might feel a need to tell you something, but your need for peace is equally valid, and I don't see why kids' needs should always trump parents' needs once they are past preschool age. Turn-taking is the key. We teach them that with toys in toddlerhood, so it shouldn't be a strange concept to them when they are 6, or 10 or whatever. I extend the same treatment to them - unless it's really urgent, if they look busy, I will ask them if they are free to listen/talk.
Regarding the part in light blue…when you are reading your book alone, does your extrovert child not come and want to talk to you? I have tried so many times to explain that I need my introvert time. Yet DS “needs” to come and talk to me about whatever he’s reading/watching. Then when I plead for some peace and quiet, he will point out that human interactions are his way of recharging so would I please let him tell me about it :frustrated:
The only time I can truly read in peace is while he’s in school (so glad June hols are over!) And from Sec 1 onwards, that will be longer hours so yay.[/quote]
If I was tired or at an interesting point in my book, or in the middle of something that needed concentration, I would tell my kids that I needed some time before I could listen to them, and would promise (and keep that promise) to stop what I was doing within a few mins (20-30 mins) and give them my attention. Surely they don't insist on being listened to immediately by classmates, teachers etc, so they should extend the same courtesy to parents.
Of course, the above only applies for kids from maybe 6 or so and older. With preschoolers, I could postpone by maybe 5 mins; with a toddler - no way! -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2072170\" time=\"1656422073\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2072170 time=1656422073 user_id=53606]
So nice u're a reader! In rare supply.
Regarding the part in light blue…when you are reading your book alone, does your extrovert child not come and want to talk to you? I have tried so many times to explain that I need my introvert time. Yet DS “needs” to come and talk to me about whatever he’s reading/watching. Then when I plead for some peace and quiet, he will point out that human interactions are his way of recharging so would I please let him tell me about it :frustrated:
The only time I can truly read in peace is while he’s in school (so glad June hols are over!) And from Sec 1 onwards, that will be longer hours so yay.[/quote]
Agree w @slmkoo. Mom needs to put herself first with sufficient rest.
Here is a site on how to raise extroverts as an introvert:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-raise-an-extroverted-child-5199466
Ways I get my extroverted teen to leave me alone during school hols:
1. Give her lots of chances to play outside with friends who live nearby.
2. Have her play sport in a CCA that meets up during hols.
3. Increase her screen time by 1 hour (this always works, but maybe not for PSLE year!)
4. Close my room door, w a homemade sign: \"Mommy's Time.\"
Hope this helps! Hols are over, anyway, and I tend to read after the toddler sleeps! -
Thank u to all the mummies for their input! All good stuff - I can have a deep think about it now when everyone is out of the house :boogie:
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Toomuchlaundry\" post_id=\"2072199\" time=\"1656466733\" user_id=\"197996:
With babies and toddlers, that's they only way! But that phase only lasts a few years, thankfully. I remember several times telling my kids when they were young: \"Go to bed! Mummy is tired!\" whereupon the whole family laughed at me.
... I tend to read after the toddler sleeps!
I have been known to catch moments when the kids are otherwise occupied with toys or TV to read a page or 2. At one stage, I was taking a course (luckily it was mostly study at home, own time own target type), and I recall writing essays with a preschooler playing in the another part of the room, and a toddler playing at my feet. I can't imagine how scrappy those essays must have sounded, written 2 sentences at a time! -
Oh yes! We wrote ours when dd was a bb then. This time round…much easier. I just chauffeur and take care their meals and I will be left alone.
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Think of it they are quite independent in a way…coz I can do my own things almost all the time and they are left alone do their own stuffs…it is mostly the breaking up of my schedule that makes me feel quite miserable.
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Am thoroughly enjoying this ebook that I’ve just borrowed. Have not read fiction (instead of parenting books) in a long time:
The Latecomer by Jean Hanff Korelitz. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2072241\" time=\"1656476885\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2072241 time=1656476885 user_id=53606]
I try not to go for novel on family affairs and the relationship between family members as it may cause me to recall lot of nightmares in the past. :siam:
Am thoroughly enjoying this ebook that I’ve just borrowed. Have not read fiction (instead of parenting books) in a long time:
The Latecomer by Jean Hanff Korelitz.[/quote]
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