Networking Group - JCs General
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deleted due to repeated post
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bbbay\" post_id=\"2095603\" time=\"1674178481\" user_id=\"175278:
It should be 自強不息.
Another choice is to compare with yourself and not others. If you score 70 during last exam, aim to score 75 in next exam, regardless whether other score 90 or not. And, if you score 90 last exam, try scoring 92 in next exam, regardless other can only score 80. This way , 智强不息, no matter what goes on around you. -
学以致用
自强不息 -
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bbbay\" post_id=\"2095603\" time=\"1674178481\" user_id=\"175278:
It's not an either-or choice: I tried to get my kids to strike a balance. Their main aim would be to do as you say - to compare against themselves and try to keep trying to improve. But if the child is already trying as hard as he can, constantly holding out for greater improvement may to too much stress. Parents may have to teach a child to accept that 70% is a good grade for him, and just aim to stay around there. At the same time, it's necessary to know where you stand so you can set your expectations for school choices, university courses, jobs etc.
Another choice is to compare with yourself and not others. If you score 70 during last exam, aim to score 75 in next exam, regardless whether other score 90 or not. And, if you score 90 last exam, try scoring 92 in next exam, regardless other can only score 80. This way , 智强不息, no matter what goes on around you.
For some kids, knowing how others have performed can help them do better. If they've been slacking, it can be spur to work harder. For some, their personality causes them to work less hard if there's no competition. So again, parents have to 'read' their child - a spur to work is good as long as it doesn't go overboard and cause unhealthy levels of pressure. -
After trying best, be happy with yourself 😇, regardless whether can improve further or not.
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slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2095616\" time=\"1674181067\" user_id=\"28674:
Well said and I am in agreement with this!
It's not an either-or choice: I tried to get my kids to strike a balance. Their main aim would be to do as you say - to compare against themselves and try to keep trying to improve. But if the child is already trying as hard as he can, constantly holding out for greater improvement may to too much stress. Parents may have to teach a child to accept that 70% is a good grade for him, and just aim to stay around there. At the same time, it's necessary to know where you stand so you can set your expectations for school choices, university courses, jobs etc.
For some kids, knowing how others have performed can help them do better. If they've been slacking, it can be spur to work harder. For some, their personality causes them to work less hard if there's no competition. So again, parents have to 'read' their child - a spur to work is good as long as it doesn't go overboard and cause unhealthy levels of pressure.
What’s tedious is actually how to “read” the child, it takes time and effort to trial and error to find what works and to understand how the child works.. how much, is really too much and how much, is just nice to motivate him to better himself everyday. -
Parenting is a humbling journey. Children are humans - they are not robots. It doesn’t mean you do X, the outcome will be Y. It is not a direct Input/Output model. We cannot look at others and say, how come he or she does this to the kid, and could lead to this or that? Just as none of us would want our kids to compare us with other parents or their achievements, and to love us as parents (even our failings and struggles), we have to perhaps effectively demonstrate and convey that to our kids. A strong relationship is the first step to being able to counsel, influence and persuade. I really don’t think I am in a position to force my views or way on my kids any more.
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doodbug\" post_id=\"2095636\" time=\"1674185703\" user_id=\"13281:
Agree with this. As someone who has not maximised my earning power in life, I would hate it if my kids say I should have chosen other work, got better pay, bought a nicer house/car, and shouldn't have 'wasted' my education, etc.
Parenting is a humbling journey. Children are humans - they are not robots. It doesn't mean you do X, the outcome will be Y. It is not a direct Input/Output model. We cannot look at others and say, how come he or she does this to the kid, and could lead to this or that? Just as none of us would want our kids to compare us with other parents or their achievements, and to love us as parents (even our failings and struggles), we have to perhaps effectively demonstrate and convey that to our kids. A strong relationship is the first step to being able to counsel, influence and persuade. I really don't think I am in a position to force my views or way on my kids any more. -
:goodpost: to the above...
Sometimes I think we (as parents) are trying to eliminate all of the mistakes we made in our kids. As I've mentioned before, I think many well intentioned parents are adding more fuel to the fire (results, direct or indirect comparison, competition/stress), even if they don't know it (myself included).
I can see the difference in my two kids already. Perhaps it is due to different school policies, MOE directives, some random chance (in classmates/friends), and parental decisions gone bad / corrections...
As others said, there is some balance and it is different for everyone. Hope everyone can find it...
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