In-law problems?

[pea]

winth:

pea:

They'll forgive their son, but not the DIL

Agree with both hands up!

Once, DH told MIL that we will not be taking a medicated powder which she introduced for our coughs. And he explained the reason to her even, told her that the powder is for heaty type of cough, not for those with phelgms (it was even indicated in bold on the footnote of the medicine bottle).

DH went away to toilet. Immediately, MIL said why I so stubborn, don't want to take the medicine. So now my cough is like that.

DH came back, she like sit down there and watch TV like nothing happened. Me already :x

My older sister, the family sage, told me and my younger sister this : Be blind and deaf and dumb when MIL try to irritate you. Try not to talk back, keep cool. Try not to take it too personally (easier said than done though)

Any issues, get hubby to talk to her. It's usually more effective. And let her think that the idea comes from her son, not from you.

Your MIL sounds like she likes to cho-cho you, to get a reaction from you. Maybe if you stay cool and reply in a humorous way, like a friendly conversation, she will be stunned! And she may stop these remarks because no fun, you don't get rattled. :lol:

[MLR]

pea:

MLR, you're such a great friend Do tell your pal to keep pumping to keep up the milk supply. But it's so pitiful to have to do this secretly. Hope that she and her hubby can get MIL's understanding.

Thats what friends are for. Hate it that she went thru so much (gave up her high paying but very stressful job, fertility treatment with jabs every day and night for past 4 yrs, all the heartpains every month when menses comes, etc) to conceive and finally have a baby, and now the ILs treat her like that. I ESPECIALLY can't take the part about telling J that her milk is inferior quality! :x

During the past 4 yrs of trying and many months of failures, they even hint that maybe should get their son a woman who is willing to bear him a son without no strings attached and just pay her off.... Also, after J got preg they ever mentioned that if child is abnormal due to J's age and thus a high risk pregnancy, they will not want that grandchild.

Despite all these, J just ignore their sick remarks and persisted. Her hubs is a very understanding man, he knows that his parents are mean and he always try to make up by being very good to J's mom (she lost her dad when she was a teenager).

If it were me, I would hv raise hell :x :rant: . Take my hat off to J :salute:

[ChiefKiasu]

MLR:

...During the past 4 yrs of trying and many months of failures, they even hint that maybe should get their son a woman who is willing to bear him a son without no strings attached and just pay her off.... Also, after J got preg they ever mentioned that if child is abnormal due to J's age and thus a high risk pregnancy, they will not want that grandchild...

This is probably the worst thing I have heard so far regarding daughter-in-law abuse. It is difficult to understand why it is still happening in this age and time. Has the human race not progressed in the last 100 years? Or perhaps basic human decency takes a lot more time to evolve.

[MLR]

In J case, i guess its love transcends all. She has been with hubs since JC days, mmmm.... that means they hv been together for 20 yrs :!: . Since it survived 2 yrs of army and another 3 yrs of long distance relationship (hubs went for overseas studies) so their bond is strong.


She is the most optimistic person I know. So when she calls me up to rant, it has to be bad. I will be visiting her today in the late afternoon unannounced to see what are the 2 old hags doing to her.

Will update after visit. Thanks for all the kind words on her behalf....
:celebrate:

[Tiny]

hi,


Just believe that human come to this world and have some designed path for each of us to go through.
Fully utilize and appreciate what we have and thankful to people around us. Any things that cannot be controlled just accept it sincerely, go through it without any blames and hope that it won’t repeat in our next life.

[MLR]

Quick update about my friend J....


During my visit (about 40 mins), her ILs treat her very nicely, getting her tonic soup served to her and told me how thankful they r to her for bearing them a grandson that they have been praying for.... I tried to asked J about breast feeding infront of ILs, and they said that it would be too tiring for her and nowadays formula are just as good a breastmilk... They even thank me for visiting J and lucky for J to hv such caring friend like me, etc....such hypocrites .

J seems prety ok for now, just taking it easy.... in preparation for her nite operations :evil:
I managed to smuggle about 10 packs of her froxen milk home to store in my freezer, cold store service, anyone ....... HAHAHA

[buds]

MLR:

Quick update about my friend J....


During my visit (about 40 mins), her ILs treat her very nicely, getting her tonic soup served to her and told me how thankful they r to her for bearing them a grandson that they have been praying for.... I tried to asked J about breast feeding infront of ILs, and they said that it would be too tiring for her and nowadays formula are just as good a breastmilk... They even thank me for visiting J and lucky for J to hv such caring friend like me, etc....such hypocrites .

J seems prety ok for now, just taking it easy.... in preparation for her nite operations :evil:
I managed to smuggle about 10 packs of her froxen milk home to store in my freezer, cold store service, anyone ....... HAHAHA

Suweeet!

I'd do the same had it been my friend.
She's one tough cookie and you're one
great friend.

Here's to ya!
:celebrate:

[MLR]

Hiya buds,


Thank you. I m getting use to your lovely compliments. Like u say, its just wat a friend can do....

:celebrate:

[buds]

Don't mention it.

Good to have more
friends.... than adversaries.
:lol:

Anyways, nice to be of your
acquaintance, MLR. And btw
from our postings here, i'm
thinking you are more to ripe
than old. Having a person
come from mixed marriage
usually results in a child with
broader horizons and more
open minded. Your child will
benefit from both you and hubs
culture..

I gotta go send kiddie for CCA.
Chat agn soon. Chowz!
Cheerios.
:celebrate:

[thebusybee]

re PILs....


I'm considered lucky to meet a good MIL (in 70s), considered her a more domineering person - same as DH, while me the opposite. If 2 strong characters meet, definitely will have conflicts

What I can derived from personal experience is that - If you grow up in extended family (3 Gen with aunts /uncles visiting often), you most likely learned from your mums how to handle these people. To think that some of our MILs had gone thru worst in-law issues, we're much luckier.

buds,
I admired your tolerance, perseverance and courage. We always wished things in life are smooth and I believe if things are too easy in life, one won't appreciate what we have.

Above are views from someone brought up with traditional values.... I'm old school..

Recently learn about 'DiZiGui' 弟子規- Standards for being a good student & child,
then came to realized those are the values we learn from our elders. I'm sure to pass these good values/practice on to my child/ren.

You can get a copy from Popular $6.90, it has pinyin & simple explanation in Chinese. I do have a pdf copy with detailed explanation in Eng, translated by guess what - a college in Australia! Can PM me if anyone interested.

FYI : I co-habit with then bf & family, sort of know PILs' characters & habits before got married and been staying under same roof for nearly 10 years. Because of the way I brought up, I'd like my children to help take care of their GPs when they are older coz i really missed my late grandma and her involvement during my childhood days...