How to handle complaints from school

[Joy]

Busymom



I have just pm you...


Rgds
Joy

Busymom:

ha ha, haven't gone back to your maths visual issues thread... :lol: :lol:

The lie... well, I think it is possible that DD had a mix-up. Anyway, have sent you a PM already.

About having higher situational awareness... sigh! I can be quite blur myself about certain things (although I will definitely remember what I said or did not say). The KL story that I shared before was a case in point. :stupid: Or maybe DD is still young or it's just her 傻大姐 character?

[corneyAmber]

Busymom:

ha ha, haven't gone back to your maths visual issues thread... :lol: :lol:


The lie... well, I think it is possible that DD had a mix-up. Anyway, have sent you a PM already.

About having higher situational awareness... sigh! I can be quite blur myself about certain things (although I will definitely remember what I said or did not say). The KL story that I shared before was a case in point. :stupid: Or maybe DD is still young or it's just her 傻大姐 character?

Busymom, replied your PM.

Yes she is still young but good to prepare her for P1 in this area.

[tamarind]

Another good book to recommend for all teachers and parents :


How Children Fail
by John Holt
http://www.educationreformbooks.net/failure.htm

1. Fear and failure: Schools promote an atmosphere of fear – fear of failure, fear of humiliation, fear of disapproval - that most severely affects a student's capacity for intellectual growth. External motivation – rewards such as grades and gold stars – reinforces children’s fears of failing exams and receiving disapproval from the adults in their lives. Rather than learning the actual content of the lessons, students learn how to avoid embarrassment. This atmosphere of fear not only quells a child's love of learning and suppresses his native curiosity, but also makes him afraid of taking chances and risks which may be necessary for true learning to occur.

2. Boredom: Boredom serves as another major obstacle, blocking both the child’s innate motivation to learn and his love of learning. Before attending school, children feel free to explore and discover those things that interest them. But once the child becomes part of our modern school system, both the institutions and the parents unknowingly sabotage their child’s education. Schools demand that children perform dull, repetitive tasks which make limited demands on their wide range of capabilities; such demands may or may not be suitable to a particular child’s interests or needs.

...

Holt concludes that there is a vast difference between what children really know, and what they only appear to know. Rather than learning the content of a lesson, children learn how to perform, or how to survive by deflecting the teacher’s questions with the least possible amount of embarrassment. Almost everything we do in our schools tends to make children ‘answer-centered,’ rather than ‘problem centered,’ which inadvertently deprives them of the skills that they need to function in the real world.

From the time of birth until the age of three years, children have a \"tremendous capacity for learning, understanding, and creating.\" Adults – either through their own actions, or through excessively dictating their children’s actions - destroy most of the this intellectual and creative capacity. Most frequently, we destroy this capacity by making our children afraid; afraid of being wrong. Holt’s examination of our present educational system is a critical and insightful study, one which forces us to look more closely at the lessons that we are unwittingly imparting to our young ones.

[osakachan]

stayhome


My DS1 is having the same problem as your son… except that my DS1 is in K2 and his misbehavour only started in K1 in this new childcare.

His childcare setting is like primary school, it is a very academic childcare that prepares the kids to primary school.

His teacher is also getting very impatient with him… during the last meet the parents session, his teacher even told us that she locked my son out of her classroom when she overheard my son telling his friend that he does not like her!

incidents triggered me desperately look for solution:
1) last week, he slapped his friend for teasing him (i was mad and caned him. i warned him that if he hurt his friend again, he will get more canes from me - i shared this with his principal, she disapproved it).

2) yesterday he bite his friend for not lending him book. This time i did not cane him but trying to relate it to his favourite Ben10 and magic school bus - telling him naughty boy cannot be Ben’s friend and friend of magic school bus. seriously i donno whether it will work but i am out of ideas…

anyone has any links to share?

Thank u very much!!!

[stayhome]

Hi osakachan,


I had also tried using cane, it only work for short term. I’m using reward and punishment method now, it work better and result last long. It is quite difficult initially, ds took some time to learn this method. But is it worth it. You have to be firmed what you had set and your ds may try not to follow. Then, you will just used punishment like taking away his favourite activity for a day or week…

It’s not easy and can be very stressful initially. But it’s just parenting. Goodluck.

[cnimed]

tamarind:

Another good book to recommend for all teachers and parents :


How Children Fail
by John Holt

Yes that is a great book. Need to read it again to put myself back on track, sigh.

[osakachan]

stayhome:

Hi osakachan,


I had also tried using cane, it only work for short term. I'm using reward and punishment method now, it work better and result last long. It is quite difficult initially, ds took some time to learn this method. But is it worth it. You have to be firmed what you had set and your ds may try not to follow. Then, you will just used punishment like taking away his favourite activity for a day or week.....

It's not easy and can be very stressful initially. But it's just parenting. Goodluck.

hi

noted with thanks, i will try it