All About Full-Time Maids
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mwchua:
Hi Ming,hi mommies,
Wish to seek some advice here.
My new Indo maid of 2 weeks (with home country experience) last night said she wanted to change employer. But this morning retracted saying that she does not want pay another 2 months of salary if going back to agen to change employer.
This is the 1st time I have encountered such a case. Have employed 3 maids before her, all completed contract with me. This latest maid has the easiest life per se as I have made all my household duties so simple that I can just put my only child in student care (P1) if presented with maid issues. My mom whom is staying with me nowadays also \"bo-chap\" the maid afte she read about the many maid horror stories.
Yet this maid give me such a crappy stuff. When she first came & I checked her luggage, she has much more toiletries and beauty stuff than me !! She will find every sinle chance to sit down & no initiative to help out. When I go home after work with bags of groceries, she will just sit inside her room & treat me as invisible. During her 3rd day with me she asked about any possible relaxation of off-day !!
Apparently she knows about all the ground rules: no off-day, no hp, if go back to agent employer need to top up 2 more monhs of loan, but yet she go ahead and say wants to change employer last night. But this morning said she wanted to work again & looked quite sincere !!!
My options are:
1. Send her back to agent, look for another replacement. But need to train all over again, but can be for better or worse.
2. Student care: My girl is in pm session, needs to reach student care latest by 8am which means she needs to wake up around 7.20am to wash up & take LRT. Worried that she might be too tired as after school she will only reach home around 7.15pm in the evening. Right now she does assessment given by me in the morning without much distraction. At student care centre there might be too much distraction.
if you were me, will you give this maid a second chance? What are the kind of ground rules to set? I did give her timetable & house rules right from the start. But still.....
Apologies on the long post...Hope to pick your brains on this.
Thank.
Rgds,
Ming
I will advise you to get a replacement since she doesn't have the initiative and passion to work for you.
As you have just hired this maid, I believe your agency will do a free replacement for you.
However, a word of caution, do not let your maid know beforehand that you intend to replace her as you can never imagine what she will do during your absence. -
liuhao:
Hi liuhao,sorry could not suggest you what to do but currently i am having similar issue...
my new fil maid( 24 married with one yr old son) has been staying with us for 1 week. issues (similar as yours) so far:
- agreed during interview and first day in agent office that no hp is allowed as stated in house rule and she said she had no hp. however after arrived in our house and checked her belongings, found a secret handphone with sim card. i took the hp and kept it for now. but i am not happy. she is dishonest in the first day!
- yesterday evening (7th day), she asked me whether can have her hp. i was quite angry and told her it's not allowed. i told her that you can go ahead to find another employer if you want but here in my home, hp is not allowed. she acted blur and after a while, asked me again for the hp to sms. it really made me mad.
- spent lots of time grooming herself. everytime we asked her to go out with us to do casual marketing, we wait for her for so long at door step but found she went to have shower and change new clothes! we wait for her for 15 mins before she gets ready. told her twice dont do that but still she will go showering everytime! my previous two maids never did that!
- acting blur all the time. most of the time when i say sometime to her, i never know if she really understand me or not. no feedback/reply/acknowledge. i have been trying to speak really slow, clear and loud.
- missing home all the time, everyday wants to call home. finished one sunshine phonecard within 3 days (50mins). today asked me to buy another for her. she will pay by herself though. although so far not affect her work yet...
contract says i cant send her back util 14 days. she does not make big mistake apart from these issues but so far i am not very comfortable. still dont know what to do yet.
but if i send her back to againt due to above reasons, who will pay the transfer fee?
If I am you, I will send her back to the agency and ask for a replacement.
I believe you should have a free replacement as most agencies offer free replacement within the first year.
Do check it out with your maid agency. -
shine_fs:
liuhao:
i think in that she will be on time. what i am not comfortable is she just can not go out without showering and nice cloth, no matter how short is the distance or how urgent is the work. even myself wont do showering just for that. she looks like a noblewoman rather than maid.
At 1st did you tell her how many times she can bath?
For me, I told my maid : Morning, afternoon and night = 3 times.
Like perfume...I don't allowed cos she is looking after my kids....
My maid bath in the early morning right after she wakes up at about 6.30 am and in the evening (about 7-8pm) after I came back from work. Whenever we go out, we take turns to shower, change and look after the kid. She showers the kid, change the kid, pack kid bag while waiting for me. I shower, change, look after the kid and pack my bag. Meanwhile maid go shower and change. Somehow everybody gets ready to go at about the same time.
As for perfume, only if she goes out either with us or on her off-days but I don't remember smelling very strong smell leh... Not at home lah because she also don't want to waste perfume!
:lol: -
Hquek, I agree fully with Shine too. Throw her back before u get too attached to her. I know how u feel about training all over again, but its better now then later. Go quietly and select another and tell yr agent to look for an employer for her at the same time… think the agent will probably want to council yr maid, dnt bother, wasting time… just stand firm and change her. She has already displayed such bad attitude frm the start and thinking of switching employers so early into the job? I dont think u need to hesitate, theres nothing in her to hold u back. Its not like she started off dedicated and hardworking and decided to switch, then I would advise u to think twice.
U mentioned ur last 3 maids completed their contract. I like u to know that the maids that come in today are no longer the same as the last 2 yrs. Sad to say, but nowadays being nice does not work on these maids anymore. Times have changed so dnt be surprise when ur maid ask for transfer even tho u treated her well. -
Ya true. Nowadays maids are very selective. They can just choose to stop working for u as and when they like, by giving u ridiculous reasons. My current maid is my fourth maid. My previous 3 maids all never completed their contracts.
First one worked for one year and a few months, wanted to go back philiphines because of her family problems. Had to pay for her air ticket back.
Second one worked for less than a year, and asked for transfer one day without any reason. Somemore it was right after my confinement. I nearly want to vomit blood. And furthermore, at that period of time, she had already finished paying the loan and could start getting full pay already. I can say that i nv treat her bad at all. She can eat whatever there is at home. And her work was quite relaxed as my elder son went to childcare, and she only had to do housework before my baby was born. I guess she cannot handle baby that's why she wanted a transfer. However she told my agent that she wanted to come back and work for me after a few days later. Too bad, I wouldn't take her back.
Third one worked for almost a year and ask to go back philipines as her hubby wanted her to go back and looked after her kids. This one made me very angry because before she said she wanted to go back, the medical checklist came. and i did ask her if she wan to continue working or go back as she told my son that she want to go back. Then she told me that she wanted to work and asked for advance one month pay. After 2 weeks, she told me that she wanted to go back. I was so angry for her dishonesty. I refused to pay for her air ticket. And i insisted that she pay me back for the 1 month advance pay. Of couse she doesn't have the money to pay thus she worked for one more month before going back. And she paid for her own air ticket.
Then now my third maid wanted to come back to singapore to work. And she gave my number to agents as alot of agents are curious as to why she didn't complete her 2 years contract. QUite a no of agents called up, and i think till now, she has not found an employer who want to hire her yet.
Sometimes i was wondering what on earth are these people thinking. They could jolly well get full pay, yet they want to go back or ask for transfer. Then need to pay agent money again (for those who want transfer). Then after go back, wan to come here and work again, then need to pay 7-8 months of agent fees again. Very weird. :? -
Hi everyone,
I’m new here.
I had my baby last year and was a SAHM for a year before returning to work 3 weeks ago.
It was a luxury not to have worked for a year and a privilege to be with my daughter for 8 months.
During my one year career hiatus, I was chauffeur to DH, MIL and daughter. I drove and pick DH from work, drove and pick MIL from market and her tea sessions with her kakis. I was also the "fulltime-maid" at home.
it was tiring but I totally enjoyed it.
Now I’m a FTWM, we stay with PILs.
We have a PT maid who comes in everyday to clean, do laundry and ironing. My MIL takes care of my daughter and cooks. My MIL is requesting for a FT maid.
Personally, I’d much prefer not working, doing housework and looking after my daughter than engage a FT maid. -
duriz:
Hi Duiz, you must be really enjoying your time when u were not working...Hi everyone,
I'm new here.
I had my baby last year and was a SAHM for a year before returning to work 3 weeks ago.
It was a luxury not to have worked for a year and a privilege to be with my daughter for 8 months.
During my one year career hiatus, I was chauffeur to DH, MIL and daughter. I drove and pick DH from work, drove and pick MIL from market and her tea sessions with her kakis. I was also the \"fulltime-maid\" at home.
it was tiring but I totally enjoyed it.
Now I'm a FTWM, we stay with PILs.
We have a PT maid who comes in everyday to clean, do laundry and ironing. My MIL takes care of my daughter and cooks. My MIL is requesting for a FT maid.
Personally, I'd much prefer not working, doing housework and looking after my daughter than engage a FT maid.
Maybe u should let your DH knows about your intention and plan to be a SAHM? Probably your MIL needs a maid to help her out so that she can have more time....From what i think, older people who enjoy tea sessions with their kakis will not prefer to look after grandchildren...so in a way u are still lucky that your MIL can help you out....Its a blessing..
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HappyAvon:
Hi HappyAvon,
Hi Duiz, you must be really enjoying your time when u were not working...duriz:
Hi everyone,
I'm new here.
I had my baby last year and was a SAHM for a year before returning to work 3 weeks ago.
It was a luxury not to have worked for a year and a privilege to be with my daughter for 8 months.
During my one year career hiatus, I was chauffeur to DH, MIL and daughter. I drove and pick DH from work, drove and pick MIL from market and her tea sessions with her kakis. I was also the \"fulltime-maid\" at home.
it was tiring but I totally enjoyed it.
Now I'm a FTWM, we stay with PILs.
We have a PT maid who comes in everyday to clean, do laundry and ironing. My MIL takes care of my daughter and cooks. My MIL is requesting for a FT maid.
Personally, I'd much prefer not working, doing housework and looking after my daughter than engage a FT maid. Maybe u should let your DH knows about your intention and plan to be a SAHM? Probably your MIL needs a maid to help her out so that she can have more time....From what i think, older people who enjoy tea sessions with their kakis will not prefer to look after grandchildren...so in a way u are still lucky that your MIL can help you out....Its a blessing..
Thank you for your response.
Yes, I'm very blessed. I'm an advanced age first time Mom and have a very good support system.
My MIL loves DD very much. This is because on both sides of my PILs families, they have had sons only. DD is the first girl to make an appearance in 24 years. DD is also the first and only grandchild on my side of the family. She is very privileged and I hope not too spoilt.
DH supports my decisions, be it SAHM or FTWM.
Ironically, it's my Mom and MIL whom do not agree to my being a SAHM. They said I'm still young and should not be \"cut off from society\". -
Hi duriz
I also stopped work to be SAHM after several years in the corporate world. My DH always share his encounters from his work with me so that I do not feel so left out. In addition, I try to join him on his corporate functions and we also invited some close colleagues to our house for a meal… I am sure there are many things we can do to keep up with the society but we only have one chance to see our child grow up…I have seen some mummies who decided to retire early (after having a highly successful career )when their kids are in the teens and the child did not really view it positively…quite sad… -
hi all,
Many thanks for your kind reply and advice given !!! Very well appreciated.
After careful consideration and discussion with my hubby & mom, as well as taking into account that it takes at least one month for a new maid to come in, I have not sent my 2-week maid back to the agency as of now yet.
I think she is quite surprised that I did not ask her to stay when she 1st said she wanted to change employer on Wed night and I did not even bother to ask her the reason. That’s why on Thurs morning her whole attitude changed.
For now I will monitor her even more closely than before and any funny that she does I will just quietly go back to agent & ask for replacement. Then adopt the strategy of "1 in, 1 out" without giving her any advance notice. Luckily I am in 3-days work week now & under the worst case scenario, I will just work 4 afternoons after my girl goes to school to make up the hours. I will not be held ransom by that new maid & I told her upfront. She can go anytime she likes !!
Will see how it goes & keep you informed…
Rgds,
Ming
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