Me Time!
-
Estéema\" post_id=\"2123815\" time=\"1701081332\" user_id=\"66413:
3
That's cold. Last night went out for a walk and kept shivering. My dh who is usually below my level of 'heatiness' was feeling surprised. I thought that I must be falling sick soon since lately I had pain here and there. I told him we need to eat mutton again so off we went to buy. Later then we had a good laugh coz realised I was wearing too little just 1 layer inside when it was around 9deg and was windy at the park. -
I was trying for the in between method. Moderate tuition with moderate results expectations. I personally feel that it is not going to be healthy to go through stress period all the time in our lives. So I try not to give much stress to my children too much when they are still young in hope of they having a ‘deeper unfilled pot of stress’ ready for their future journeys. Actually they do have stress along the way…and I too. Thanks to reminder of a fellow mommy…I will try to think what I have got instead of what I may have lost.
-
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123858\" time=\"1701124482\" user_id=\"43981:
Without knowing what difficulties you are referring to, it's hard to be specific. In general, from my experience, it's good to help the child understand what can be changed, and what can't. You can't \"cure\" autism or blindness, but you can find ways to work round the problems, as you told her. At the same time, the kids have to realise that \"working round a problem\" often means having to put in extra effort (compared with others), and also that expectations of the outcome usually have to be adjusted lower. If she is upset, it could be that she either hasn't recognised or come to terms with the \"difficulty\", and/or hasn't put in the right kind or amount of effort to work round the issues. This vacation is a good time to help her assess if she needs to consider some of these issues.
I gave her examples I read on some people difficulties..but till now I still haven't received a good reason. Initially she was unhappy even cried for me to even suggest that..then I told her some didn't know it themselves till they become adults. After a while, she asked what if one really have the situation and what can they do. I may not be correct... I told her I don't think we could do much other than working around the problems.
We learned that we had to have very different expectations for our 2 daughters because of the older one's ASD. It's been a learning experience for us over her growing up years - she worked as hard as her sister, and achieved so much less in terms of results. It is still a work in progress - we can see how her job choice and performance (and pay) are affected by her issues. We are happy that she is managing well in her job, and will hopefully have her contract renewed (still waiting to hear!), but her job level/scope and pay are diverging ever more widely from her sister's as time goes on. We don't compare or ask her to aim higher to compete, and she is very accepting of the difference. We work with what we have. -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2123863\" time=\"1701131354\" user_id=\"28674:
Yr dd may not be as good as her sis..but to me, what she has achieved has surpassed many other people. She has really done a good job. As her parents, I feel that both you and your dh should be feeling very proud of her after much efforts and sacrifices. From reading, it seems many of CS jobs are contractual nowadays/been a while? Usually after how many renewals then convert to permanent? Wish your dd the best!
Without knowing what difficulties you are referring to, it's hard to be specific. In general, from my experience, it's good to help the child understand what can be changed, and what can't. You can't \"cure\" autism or blindness, but you can find ways to work round the problems, as you told her. At the same time, the kids have to realise that \"working round a problem\" often means having to put in extra effort (compared with others), and also that expectations of the outcome usually have to be adjusted lower. If she is upset, it could be that she either hasn't recognised or come to terms with the \"difficulty\", and/or hasn't put in the right kind or amount of effort to work round the issues. This vacation is a good time to help her assess if she needs to consider some of these issues.
We learned that we had to have very different expectations for our 2 daughters because of the older one's ASD. It's been a learning experience for us over her growing up years - she worked as hard as her sister, and achieved so much less in terms of results. It is still a work in progress - we can see how her job choice and performance (and pay) are affected by her issues. We are happy that she is managing well in her job, and will hopefully have her contract renewed (still waiting to hear!), but her job level/scope and pay are diverging ever more widely from her sister's as time goes on. We don't compare or ask her to aim higher to compete, and she is very accepting of the difference. We work with what we have. -
Always feel govt job feel more secured than SMEs. I know this person started a business abt 10yrs ago … part of reason is for the son who is not so academically inclined, quite an introvert and lack of confidence type of boy. Many years to today, the son has a master degree fm a private uni, do marketing and some own research on new services for the co. Can only admire much. We also read not too long ago abt parents started hawker bz(if remember correctly) for next gen. Parents always worry for children arh…
-
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123865\" time=\"1701132935\" user_id=\"43981:
You too worry lah.....
Always feel govt job feel more secured than SMEs. I know this person started a business abt 10yrs ago .. part of reason is for the son who is not so academically inclined, quite an introvert and lack of confidence type of boy. Many years to today, the son has a master degree fm a private uni, do marketing and some own research on new services for the co. Can only admire much. We also read not too long ago abt parents started hawker bz(if remember correctly) for next gen. Parents always worry for children arh..
-
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2123866\" time=\"1701133408\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2123866 time=1701133408 user_id=195250]
Yalor true.
You too worry lah.....[/quote] -
Slmkhoo…on some info of the exact problem…I can only hope it was due to her superpower of shutting off for a period of time. Think i mentioned before…one will suspect if the student actually attend the lessons. It felt just impossible to comprehend on the ‘lost’ level.
-
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2123869\" time=\"1701134007\" user_id=\"43981:
MrsKiasu,
Slmkhoo..on some info of the exact problem..I can only hope it was due to her superpower of shutting off for a period of time. Think i mentioned before..one will suspect if the student actually attend the lessons. It felt just impossible to comprehend on the 'lost' level.
I have watched this youtube video last night on students issues and really hope to share with you and all parents here.
Since the sub-titles is in traditional Chinese, let me know if you need to translate it to English.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_QhFbsk3TQ -
MrsKS
Don’t worry too much. Once you accept the idea that all roads lead to Rome, it really doesn’t matter how the kids are faring academically now. For my case, once my girls are accepted into their sec Sch, I let go totally and appear spontaneously only if they hv homework issues but even so, I told them the syllabus are beyond me so go find out elsewhere. I let them do what they want and be as stress-free as possible (that includes giving up on talent prgm and H3). Yes I do hope they maintain the momentum like in pri Sch so that they can hv a shot at scholarship etc, at the end of the day, the kids happiness come first la. They are not big dreamers anyway so I don’t need to push them hard to enter xxx courses. Just go with the flow and they figure something out in the end? No need to get so stressed out cos learning is always endless and it’s impt they like what they are doing now to ignite that spark.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login