Me Time!
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124472\" time=\"1701937395\" user_id=\"43981:
It may not be a bad thing to \"free range\" or 放养 kids. Gives them an opportunity to learn to be independent and solve their own problems. Have seen nearly 20 year-olds cry when encounter problems - 连求救的本能 also not developed.
On what happened when young and in a way shaped/impact our thinking, behaviours etc..as I have no parents by my side most time in my growing up years. I find myself very ignorant de.
On academics, I never know I need this A in order to achieve B in a easier way for eg. I only know when there is exam I need to study for it. What CCA I wouldn't really know but somehow I remember joining UG with my friends. Very little almost none tuition. My parent will provide money and I can go tuition if I want to but I just don't see the needs/importance of it.
I have no direction provided by adults. Many years later to now, I find it impossible to work on time table/schedule (except classroom time table). I am also unable to teach my kids on following what time do what etc. All free range style of growing up. It was because I know you all mommies that now I have some emphasis on my kids studies..else all free range, kampong style..everywhere, anything type. Our gen can survive coz during our time not that big proportion of people with degree. Now is different.
So if you ask me if I am happy with no limitations imposed..yes I m happy. But I think I would be happier to know why I m doing this instead of that, have some guidance from someone who know more than myself. -
Slmkhoo, no need extra help for myself. With maturity, life experiences and advices should be able to manage. I was just trying to tell lnw…coz she seems to be a bit worry for dd and similar cases.
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Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2124475\" time=\"1701944127\" user_id=\"48901:
I really admire your ability to 'let go' and let them 'fly'. It is a good thing to do..I would like to be that kid too.. but for parents need lots of courage, trust and believe, I would think.
It may not be a bad thing to \"free range\" or 放养 kids. Gives them an opportunity to learn to be independent and solve their own problems. Have seen nearly 20 year-olds cry when encounter problems - 连求救的本能 also not developed. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124489\" time=\"1701959954\" user_id=\"43981:
Also a clear sense of what the child is able to be and do. Being uninvolved and non-directive works for some kids, but not for others. A lot depends on how well they've been taught, how disciplined they are, whether they have learnt to think and make good decisions for themselves. It's not just based on age. When they were toddlers, we based giving them limited freedom on how stable they were walk at walking/running etc, how capable they were with remembering rules, whether they had learnt not dashing into dangerous areas etc. We didn't just say - \"other kids can do this at 3yo, so you carry on\". Same for teens.
I really admire your ability to 'let go' and let them 'fly'. It is a good thing to do..I would like to be that kid too.. but for parents need lots of courage, trust and believe, I would think. -
Home or family is not Prison Institutions, it is not necessary to have rules and regulations in place to ensure discipline is maintained.
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a lot has to do with the internal force within the child eventually he or she has. Before that happens, before child figured things out, all the directive and external force can only achieve not amount to much. That is why guiding and helping our children to seek their purpose in life is more important. But it is also the toughest job. How to do we carry it out before that happens? There is no certainty which is the right way. What’s worse is, can we accept whatever they have found as their purpose is? Or do we hope their purpose falls within certain category?
I remember, my kid pri sch P asked the sch P6s classes the same question, quite timely before mid year. What are their individual goal in life? Most kids gave the same reply. To get good PSLE results to get into so and so schools. Near to none really knows what do they like to do. Heard that the P told their class, only one said something about he would like to design his own machine which can do … The whole class knew immediately who it was who said that without P revealing the name. It was during covid year so P talk to each class through online on the big screen. Kids were in their classroom. Some even called out his name. When kids have found passion, they shine brightly so everyone will know. I believe.
I dont remember having a goal at that age too when I was young. Or something that I really like to do for that matter. But I also dont recall someone ever really asked and I ever get to talk abt such topic opnely among everyone in class too. I think the exercise will leave some impression to the children. It sure did to mine and me.
The P then talk to them about how she studied law but turned to education and became a school P. My kid related everything she learnt in that session to me. -
Hard for them to forget the first-hand disappointment and helplessness experienced by the limitation of options as they filter (I did it on an Excel for easier analysis based on different criteria) the selection of schools based on PSLE COP.
Painful for me too, can only tell them crying is not meaningful as it does not solve anything. Think about what is the best way to move forward. Take a day out after settling everything to grieve if they need to. When the day is over, it is over and move on. And they need to always 勾践尝胆 from this experience so that they will not need to experience the same again.
Now that they are older, I got them to read the book "Anti-fragile". -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124489\" time=\"1701959954\" user_id=\"43981:
Courage, trust and believe not only in the kids but in yourself. Have some faith in your own parenting capabilities.
I really admire your ability to 'let go' and let them 'fly'. It is a good thing to do..I would like to be that kid too.. but for parents need lots of courage, trust and believe, I would think.
You know your children best. You can seek advise and opinions from others but you are the only one who is intimately involved in their upbringing and their day to day lives. Yes, looking outwards for opinions is necessary as we can get caught up in stuff and sounding it out with people who are not so involved can provide us some clarity.
Other people's way of handling their kids may not work with your kids. Heck, even with just DD and DS alone, within the same family dynamics, I have to handle them differently. What works with DD may not sit well with DS and vice versa. -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2124494\" time=\"1701994317\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2124494 time=1701994317 user_id=195250]
Interesting thoughts. Maybe you can elaborate on what you mean by rules and regulations in this instance.
Home or family is not Prison Institutions, it is not necessary to have rules and regulations in place to ensure discipline is maintained.[/quote] -
Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2124497\" time=\"1701999174\" user_id=\"48901:
Do you mean \"卧薪尝胆\"?
Hard for them to forget the first-hand disappointment and helplessness experienced by the limitation of options as they filter (I did it on an Excel for easier analysis based on different criteria) the selection of schools based on PSLE COP.
Painful for me too, can only tell them crying is not meaningful as it does not solve anything. Think about what is the best way to move forward. Take a day out after settling everything to grieve if they need to. When the day is over, it is over and move on. And they need to always 勾践尝胆 from this experience so that they will not need to experience the same again.
Now that they are older, I got them to read the book \"Anti-fragile\".
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