All About Full-Time Maids

[duriz]

HappyAvon:

duriz:

Hi everyone,

I'm new here.
I had my baby last year and was a SAHM for a year before returning to work 3 weeks ago.
It was a luxury not to have worked for a year and a privilege to be with my daughter for 8 months.
During my one year career hiatus, I was chauffeur to DH, MIL and daughter. I drove and pick DH from work, drove and pick MIL from market and her tea sessions with her kakis. I was also the \"fulltime-maid\" at home.
it was tiring but I totally enjoyed it.
Now I'm a FTWM, we stay with PILs.
We have a PT maid who comes in everyday to clean, do laundry and ironing. My MIL takes care of my daughter and cooks. My MIL is requesting for a FT maid.
Personally, I'd much prefer not working, doing housework and looking after my daughter than engage a FT maid.

Hi Duiz, you must be really enjoying your time when u were not working... Maybe u should let your DH knows about your intention and plan to be a SAHM? Probably your MIL needs a maid to help her out so that she can have more time....From what i think, older people who enjoy tea sessions with their kakis will not prefer to look after grandchildren...so in a way u are still lucky that your MIL can help you out....Its a blessing..

Hi HappyAvon,
Thank you for your response.
Yes, I'm very blessed. I'm an advanced age first time Mom and have a very good support system.
My MIL loves DD very much. This is because on both sides of my PILs families, they have had sons only. DD is the first girl to make an appearance in 24 years. DD is also the first and only grandchild on my side of the family. She is very privileged and I hope not too spoilt.
DH supports my decisions, be it SAHM or FTWM.
Ironically, it's my Mom and MIL whom do not agree to my being a SAHM. They said I'm still young and should not be \"cut off from society\".

[Breadandmuffins]

Hi duriz


I also stopped work to be SAHM after several years in the corporate world. My DH always share his encounters from his work with me so that I do not feel so left out. In addition, I try to join him on his corporate functions and we also invited some close colleagues to our house for a meal… I am sure there are many things we can do to keep up with the society but we only have one chance to see our child grow up…I have seen some mummies who decided to retire early (after having a highly successful career )when their kids are in the teens and the child did not really view it positively…quite sad…

[mwchua]

hi all,


Many thanks for your kind reply and advice given !!! Very well appreciated.

After careful consideration and discussion with my hubby & mom, as well as taking into account that it takes at least one month for a new maid to come in, I have not sent my 2-week maid back to the agency as of now yet.

I think she is quite surprised that I did not ask her to stay when she 1st said she wanted to change employer on Wed night and I did not even bother to ask her the reason. That’s why on Thurs morning her whole attitude changed.

For now I will monitor her even more closely than before and any funny that she does I will just quietly go back to agent & ask for replacement. Then adopt the strategy of "1 in, 1 out" without giving her any advance notice. Luckily I am in 3-days work week now & under the worst case scenario, I will just work 4 afternoons after my girl goes to school to make up the hours. I will not be held ransom by that new maid & I told her upfront. She can go anytime she likes !!

Will see how it goes & keep you informed…

Rgds,
Ming

[hquek]

mwchua:

hi all,


Many thanks for your kind reply and advice given !!! Very well appreciated.

After careful consideration and discussion with my hubby & mom, as well as taking into account that it takes at least one month for a new maid to come in, I have not sent my 2-week maid back to the agency as of now yet.

I think she is quite surprised that I did not ask her to stay when she 1st said she wanted to change employer on Wed night and I did not even bother to ask her the reason. That's why on Thurs morning her whole attitude changed.

For now I will monitor her even more closely than before and any funny that she does I will just quietly go back to agent & ask for replacement. Then adopt the strategy of \"1 in, 1 out\" without giving her any advance notice. Luckily I am in 3-days work week now & under the worst case scenario, I will just work 4 afternoons after my girl goes to school to make up the hours. I will not be held ransom by that new maid & I told her upfront. She can go anytime she likes !!

Will see how it goes & keep you informed.....

Rgds,
Ming

hi mwchua,

Any decision you take is best in your circumstance.

I think it's very important to let the maid know she's not indispensible. Let the maid know what's she's doing well so she is motivated, but certainly not until she feels she is irreplaceable. Have seen a couple of those maids - whoa...the attitude super tao. Then if she feel her job may be gone anyday, she may (MAY only) be motivated to keep her nose to the grind and don't come up with any nonsense.

[liuhao]

i agree with you that it's necessary to remind her that she is not indispensable. however from the experience of my previous two transfer FIL maids, i feel they both have pretty strong pride and character. they dont take scold and i am not sure how would they react to this kinda reminding. somehow they may feel they are forced to do something with the fear of losing job. they may perform better but not from their hearts. if they feel they are doing good and the expectation goes beyond their limit, they may react negatively. it may damage their initiatives too. of course it the maid already threats to quit, then the reminding is a must.


fresh new maid is normally more obedient. this kinda reminding normally should work well without causing any damage.

hquek:

mwchua:

hi all,

Many thanks for your kind reply and advice given !!! Very well appreciated.

After careful consideration and discussion with my hubby & mom, as well as taking into account that it takes at least one month for a new maid to come in, I have not sent my 2-week maid back to the agency as of now yet.

I think she is quite surprised that I did not ask her to stay when she 1st said she wanted to change employer on Wed night and I did not even bother to ask her the reason. That's why on Thurs morning her whole attitude changed.

For now I will monitor her even more closely than before and any funny that she does I will just quietly go back to agent & ask for replacement. Then adopt the strategy of \"1 in, 1 out\" without giving her any advance notice. Luckily I am in 3-days work week now & under the worst case scenario, I will just work 4 afternoons after my girl goes to school to make up the hours. I will not be held ransom by that new maid & I told her upfront. She can go anytime she likes !!

Will see how it goes & keep you informed.....

Rgds,
Ming

hi mwchua,

Any decision you take is best in your circumstance.

I think it's very important to let the maid know she's not indispensible. Let the maid know what's she's doing well so she is motivated, but certainly not until she feels she is irreplaceable. Have seen a couple of those maids - whoa...the attitude super tao. Then if she feel her job may be gone anyday, she may (MAY only) be motivated to keep her nose to the grind and don't come up with any nonsense.

[mwchua]

Yes. It's a delicate balance and tight rope to thread....


I had 3 Indo maids before her & I must admit that the current 1 is the only 1 that gives me headache so early on in her employment with me.

Another quick question: this maid actually brings a bag with a small padlock. I told her to put those a few set of clothings for daily change in the cabinet meant for her and the rest of her items inside her haversack inside the storeroom. She kept her bag under lock.

Do you think I should get her to unlock her bag? My reservation is that when we are out during weekends or anytime she likes, she can just take things and put inside her locked bag. Even though I will normally check bags of maids before they go, but so far all my maids leave on good term so I just cast a quick glance on their bag before they go and do not do a thorough check.

If I should get her to unlock her bag what will be a good way to tell her to do that without sounding that she will take things from us and put inside her bag??

Thanks

[liuhao]

i am not comfortable with the lock. it shows that she has something to hide.


for me, i will talk to her, seriously but calm and firm about the purpose of using lock. and what does she intent to hide.

does she write letters? i am fine if she put some private letters inside. but i need to know.

mwchua:

Yes. It's a delicate balance and tight rope to thread....

I had 3 Indo maids before her & I must admit that the current 1 is the only 1 that gives me headache so early on in her employment with me.

Another quick question: this maid actually brings a bag with a small padlock. I told her to put those a few set of clothings for daily change in the cabinet meant for her and the rest of her items inside her haversack inside the storeroom. She kept her bag under lock.

Do you think I should get her to unlock her bag? My reservation is that when we are out during weekends or anytime she likes, she can just take things and put inside her locked bag. Even though I will normally check bags of maids before they go, but so far all my maids leave on good term so I just cast a quick glance on their bag before they go and do not do a thorough check.

If I should get her to unlock her bag what will be a good way to tell her to do that without sounding that she will take things from us and put inside her bag??

Thanks

[hquek]

mwchua:

Do you think I should get her to unlock her bag? My reservation is that when we are out during weekends or anytime she likes, she can just take things and put inside her locked bag. Even though I will normally check bags of maids before they go, but so far all my maids leave on good term so I just cast a quick glance on their bag before they go and do not do a thorough check.

If I should get her to unlock her bag what will be a good way to tell her to do that without sounding that she will take things from us and put inside her bag??

Actually I don't mind if she has things to keep private. If I respect hers, hopefully she will respect my privacy? Typically only if she's leaving for home then I'll ruffle through her stuff.

If you are worried about her taking and putting inside her bag, I think you should rather worry about her taking things and passing it on to her friends.

[peapot]

Oh ya! My previous maid also locked her luggage. From this incident on, it became one of my houserule. I put it in writing that this is one of the house rule she must adhere to. Because you wouldn’t know what she has in the luggage especially when she has off day. She can just hide the thing inside and on her off day she brings it out. Her own personal thing I don’t really care but who know what she will be hiding inside. If some maids can even keep their own nails, hair etc what else more??!!

[peapot]

You know mummies, I m staying in Bukit Panjang and there’s this Filipino maid in her 40s, really can yak non-stop. Whenever I meet her downstairs, she will be talking to someone for sure. And I m not talking about 5-10m mins chat but more than 30mins to hours kind of chat. I don’t like it because I worry my maid will be influenced by this maid.


What I cannot understand is how come the employer can tolerate such behaviour. Sometimes, I see a whole bunch of maids throwing parties/gathering on weekday afternoons. I also don’t understand why employer can tolerate this. Don’t they have to take care of kids??!!