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slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2129031\" time=\"1707958409\" user_id=\"28674:
For my whole family (except hub who drives), having easy access to amenities and public transport are critical to our quality of life! I mean, commuting is an everyday affair for us - a 300m walk to MRT is very different from a 900m walk or a feeder bus ride. Same with access to amenities. I can always renovate the interior of an old flat or apartment, but I can't change its location.
You may want to reconsider stairs! My parents live in a house with stairs, and for the elderly, there is an increasing danger of trips and falls. They get weaker with age too. Somewhere with lift access is safer, or a stairlift (but not all staircases are suitable for these).
Seeing my parents and their refusal to give up their independence as long as possible, I think staying with kids will be a last resort for some/many elderly, only when they really can't manage on their own. Until then, having easy access to amenities and public transport is much better for their mental wellness and social life. -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2129031\" time=\"1707958409\" user_id=\"28674:
Thanks for reminder on stairs. What you mentioned exactly happened. The other case I know happened when changing bed linen.
You may want to reconsider stairs! My parents live in a house with stairs, and for the elderly, there is an increasing danger of trips and falls. They get weaker with age too. Somewhere with lift access is safer, or a stairlift (but not all staircases are suitable for these).
Seeing my parents and their refusal to give up their independence as long as possible, I think staying with kids will be a last resort for some/many elderly, only when they really can't manage on their own. Until then, having easy access to amenities and public transport is much better for their mental wellness and social life.
Think their co-ordination also deteriorate with age, though they may not realize it.
It is not easy to accept but being able to change is important. Embracing change is probably easier for our generation cos we are trained through our work. -
Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2129040\" time=\"1707962438\" user_id=\"48901:
Humility is necessary - they get so used to being in charge and being capable that they refuse to accept that things change. And they get angry when you hint or tell them! We have to remind ourselves not to get angry and defensive when family members tell us that we are showing signs of aging. Instead, we should accept the comments as being helpful and loving, and start taking more care or adjusting.
Thanks for reminder on stairs. What you mentioned exactly happened. The other case I know happened when changing bed linen.
Think their co-ordination also deteriorate with age, though they may not realize it.
It is not easy to accept but being able to change is important. Embracing change is probably easier for our generation cos we are trained through our work. -
Just as we absolutely disliked our parents saying "I told you so", we shouldn’t use the same on them
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doodbug\" post_id=\"2129044\" time=\"1707964010\" user_id=\"13281:
Oh, but it's so hard not to say that when it's so true! I've learned not to say it to my kids, so I guess I should remember not to say it to my parents.
Just as we absolutely disliked our parents saying \"I told you so\", we shouldn't use the same on them -
Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2129024\" time=\"1707925316\" user_id=\"48901:
I agree with your points. The older you get, moving beyond a bed might even be a problem! My eldest sister suffered a stroke and is a complete invalid now. She's like 10 years older than me. I go to see her on Mon and Fri every week and it's been 8 months since her stroke. She had to be put in a home which has 24hr care and I would see other patients everytime I visit. It breaks my heart to watch them. I try to talk to them but in general, very few are lucid and most of those that are awake can only make unintelligible guttural noises. I just smile and nod and pray that my bi-weekly presence can bring them a bit of joy.
The seniors in my family, post 75 years to early 80s, experienced spontaneous fracture or fracture(s) after tripping over themselves. Their mobility limited to about 300sf-400sf even after recovery. So based on my personal experience, a studio will be sufficient.
Am not sure about visitors as am not sure if the kids of friends and relatives appreciate chauffering them to and fro for non-essential trips - this may be dependent on their phase of life too.
If kids are not settled by the time am feeble will be nice if I can find a new project which the developer will allow me to build an internal staircase within our units so that we can live as a family still with our own space.
Given the current focus on solutions for an aging society, it is likely that there will be more options and better solutions when our turn comes.
So I walk everyday to keep fit and mobile for as long as I can. I'd be most happy if I can live another 15 years and remain mobile and lucid when I expire. -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2129029\" time=\"1707958073\" user_id=\"28674:
Are seniors in their 80s ok to take MRT then change feeder bus to go house visitings? I seriously think they have no interest to go shopping at malls even if they stay next to one.
Actually, I think they would prefer not to have moved. They way they said it to me was the it was their daughter's plan, but frankly, I think she didn't sufficiently consider her parents' needs. They are near her home, but not in the same condo or within walking distance - they are dependent on someone fetching and sending them, or taking Grab. Their child and grandchildren are not available during work/school hours. During the day, they have no means (other than Grab) of going out as there are no amenities or public transport within walking distance. Their friends are also less mobile, and any meetings would need to be at places with convenient public transport. They are quite lonely during the days. For them, staying in the remote condo would have been OK in their 60s as they could still drive, but not so good now they are in their 80s.
So for seniors in their 80s going into their 90s, staying in remote condo is fine as long as it gives them the convenience to their caregiver (in this case, their only child)? Their daughter might find it more convenient to deliver groceries to them (maybe 2-3 times a week) or can reach out to their parents (when sick or if fall down) asap cos nearer.
Or the HDB estate is very old and dirty, so the grandkids don’t really like going to visit their grandparents? If the grandkids can enjoy the pool or playground at the grandparents condo, they may be more willing to visit their grandparents. I don’t know lah, just guessing. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2129053\" time=\"1707971576\" user_id=\"17023:
We shouldn't underestimate seniors, even those in their 80s! They may not want to walk far or a lot, but they do enjoy the opportunity to go out now and again, and like the independence of doing it as and when they want to, without having to arrange for someone to come and fetch them. They may not have stamina to shop a whole day, but would be happy to have nearby amenities where they can walk around for an hour or so, stop to drink coffee with a friend, etc. Many may have stopped driving, but are still steady enough to get on buses and MRT (during off-peak hours). My parents, uncles and aunts, in their 80s, walk in the parks, go to the supermarket/market, go out for lunch, etc. One day they won't be able to, but as long as they can, I think they should be encouraged.
Are seniors in their 80s ok to take MRT then change feeder bus to go house visitings? I seriously think they have no interest to go shopping at malls even if they stay next to one.
So for seniors in their 80s going into their 90s, staying in remote condo is fine as long as it gives them the convenience to their caregiver (in this case, their only child)? Their daughter might find it more convenient to deliver groceries to them (maybe 2-3 times a week) or can reach out to their parents (when sick or if fall down) asap cos nearer.
Or the HDB estate is very old and dirty, so the grandkids don’t really like going to visit their grandparents? If the grandkids can enjoy the pool or playground at the grandparents condo, they may be more willing to visit their grandparents. I don’t know lah, just guessing.
\"Near\" is relative. Singapore is quite small, and unless the elderly person actually lives in the same house, staying 5 mins away vs 20 mins away makes very little difference to the younger person.
And by the time we are in our 80s, our grandchildren will not be coming over to \"play\". They will be in their 20s or 30s, and shouldn't be put off visiting, however dirty the HDB estate might seem to them. And the ones who visit more are likely to be our children, who will be in their 50s or 60s. -
The fact is around 78% of Singapore residents are staying in HDB flats and therefore most seniors cannot afford to stay in condo where their grandkids can enjoy the pool and playground.
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There are some YouTube videos that teaches how to manage risk of falls as we age. The 2 types of common falls are, when elderly change direction while walking (trip over themselves) and moving from higher to lower ground - coming down from stairs (the state of muscles during such movements will expose any muscles weakness. Can consider sharing these videos with the elderly, for them to better care for themselves
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