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[sharonkhoo]

doodbug\" post_id=\"2129044\" time=\"1707964010\" user_id=\"13281:

Just as we absolutely disliked our parents saying \"I told you so\", we shouldn't use the same on them

Oh, but it's so hard not to say that when it's so true! I've learned not to say it to my kids, so I guess I should remember not to say it to my parents.

[ChiefKiasu]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2129024\" time=\"1707925316\" user_id=\"48901:

The seniors in my family, post 75 years to early 80s, experienced spontaneous fracture or fracture(s) after tripping over themselves. Their mobility limited to about 300sf-400sf even after recovery. So based on my personal experience, a studio will be sufficient.

Am not sure about visitors as am not sure if the kids of friends and relatives appreciate chauffering them to and fro for non-essential trips - this may be dependent on their phase of life too.

If kids are not settled by the time am feeble will be nice if I can find a new project which the developer will allow me to build an internal staircase within our units so that we can live as a family still with our own space.

Given the current focus on solutions for an aging society, it is likely that there will be more options and better solutions when our turn comes.

I agree with your points. The older you get, moving beyond a bed might even be a problem! My eldest sister suffered a stroke and is a complete invalid now. She's like 10 years older than me. I go to see her on Mon and Fri every week and it's been 8 months since her stroke. She had to be put in a home which has 24hr care and I would see other patients everytime I visit. It breaks my heart to watch them. I try to talk to them but in general, very few are lucid and most of those that are awake can only make unintelligible guttural noises. I just smile and nod and pray that my bi-weekly presence can bring them a bit of joy.

So I walk everyday to keep fit and mobile for as long as I can. I'd be most happy if I can live another 15 years and remain mobile and lucid when I expire.

[lee_yl]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2129029\" time=\"1707958073\" user_id=\"28674:

Actually, I think they would prefer not to have moved. They way they said it to me was the it was their daughter's plan, but frankly, I think she didn't sufficiently consider her parents' needs. They are near her home, but not in the same condo or within walking distance - they are dependent on someone fetching and sending them, or taking Grab. Their child and grandchildren are not available during work/school hours. During the day, they have no means (other than Grab) of going out as there are no amenities or public transport within walking distance. Their friends are also less mobile, and any meetings would need to be at places with convenient public transport. They are quite lonely during the days. For them, staying in the remote condo would have been OK in their 60s as they could still drive, but not so good now they are in their 80s.

Are seniors in their 80s ok to take MRT then change feeder bus to go house visitings? I seriously think they have no interest to go shopping at malls even if they stay next to one.

So for seniors in their 80s going into their 90s, staying in remote condo is fine as long as it gives them the convenience to their caregiver (in this case, their only child)? Their daughter might find it more convenient to deliver groceries to them (maybe 2-3 times a week) or can reach out to their parents (when sick or if fall down) asap cos nearer.

Or the HDB estate is very old and dirty, so the grandkids don’t really like going to visit their grandparents? If the grandkids can enjoy the pool or playground at the grandparents condo, they may be more willing to visit their grandparents. I don’t know lah, just guessing.

[sharonkhoo]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2129053\" time=\"1707971576\" user_id=\"17023:

Are seniors in their 80s ok to take MRT then change feeder bus to go house visitings? I seriously think they have no interest to go shopping at malls even if they stay next to one.

So for seniors in their 80s going into their 90s, staying in remote condo is fine as long as it gives them the convenience to their caregiver (in this case, their only child)? Their daughter might find it more convenient to deliver groceries to them (maybe 2-3 times a week) or can reach out to their parents (when sick or if fall down) asap cos nearer.

Or the HDB estate is very old and dirty, so the grandkids don’t really like going to visit their grandparents? If the grandkids can enjoy the pool or playground at the grandparents condo, they may be more willing to visit their grandparents. I don’t know lah, just guessing.

We shouldn't underestimate seniors, even those in their 80s! They may not want to walk far or a lot, but they do enjoy the opportunity to go out now and again, and like the independence of doing it as and when they want to, without having to arrange for someone to come and fetch them. They may not have stamina to shop a whole day, but would be happy to have nearby amenities where they can walk around for an hour or so, stop to drink coffee with a friend, etc. Many may have stopped driving, but are still steady enough to get on buses and MRT (during off-peak hours). My parents, uncles and aunts, in their 80s, walk in the parks, go to the supermarket/market, go out for lunch, etc. One day they won't be able to, but as long as they can, I think they should be encouraged.

\"Near\" is relative. Singapore is quite small, and unless the elderly person actually lives in the same house, staying 5 mins away vs 20 mins away makes very little difference to the younger person.

And by the time we are in our 80s, our grandchildren will not be coming over to \"play\". They will be in their 20s or 30s, and shouldn't be put off visiting, however dirty the HDB estate might seem to them. And the ones who visit more are likely to be our children, who will be in their 50s or 60s.

[Liew Nga Wing]

The fact is around 78% of Singapore residents are staying in HDB flats and therefore most seniors cannot afford to stay in condo where their grandkids can enjoy the pool and playground.

[bbbay]

There are some YouTube videos that teaches how to manage risk of falls as we age. The 2 types of common falls are, when elderly change direction while walking (trip over themselves) and moving from higher to lower ground - coming down from stairs (the state of muscles during such movements will expose any muscles weakness. Can consider sharing these videos with the elderly, for them to better care for themselves

[lee_yl]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2129024\" time=\"1707925316\" user_id=\"48901:

The seniors in my family, post 75 years to early 80s, experienced spontaneous fracture or fracture(s) after tripping over themselves. Their mobility limited to about 300sf-400sf even after recovery. So based on my personal experience, a studio will be sufficient.

If DH and I were to stay in the 32sqm studio, then where is the helper going to sleep. Let’s say my hub and I were to be in our 80s and DH is wheelchair bound then having a helper is must

If I were to wake up to see the kitchen sink next to me for the next 20years of my life, I will feel miserable. So 32sqm is out for me. But I can agree some might find it just right for them.

[lee_yl]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2129054\" time=\"1707973683\" user_id=\"28674:

We shouldn't underestimate seniors, even those in their 80s! They may not want to walk far or a lot, but they do enjoy the opportunity to go out now and again, and like the independence of doing it as and when they want to, without having to arrange for someone to come and fetch them. They may not have stamina to shop a whole day, but would be happy to have nearby amenities where they can walk around for an hour or so, stop to drink coffee with a friend, etc. Many may have stopped driving, but are still steady enough to get on buses and MRT (during off-peak hours). My parents, uncles and aunts, in their 80s, walk in the parks, go to the supermarket/market, go out for lunch, etc. One day they won't be able to, but as long as they can, I think they should be encouraged.

\"Near\" is relative. Singapore is quite small, and unless the elderly person actually lives in the same house, staying 5 mins away vs 20 mins away makes very little difference to the younger person.

And by the time we are in our 80s, our grandchildren will not be coming over to \"play\". They will be in their 20s or 30s, and shouldn't be put off visiting, however dirty the HDB estate might seem to them. And the ones who visit more are likely to be our children, who will be in their 50s or 60s.

Aiyo, the couple stays in a remote condo, not in jail, even if no malls or parks nearby, they can still go downstairs to stroll around their neighborhood after dinner?

5 mins drive vs 20 mins drive means a lot to me.
20 mins during off peak, I can drive from Novena to Punggol. But that’s off peak as I don’t need to work. If after my office hours like 7pm, and I have to rush down to my parents place, for 20 mins, I am likely still stuck on CTE. Then in this case, I may also relocate my parents nearer to me.

How often the grandkids visit them, once a month? 3times a year? If the grandparents move to 5 mins away from their grandchildren’s home, I am sure the daughter and grandchildren will drop by to see them more often.

When I’m in my 80s towards 90, most things are not that important to me anymore except to see my beloved ones a few more times before I go.

Btw, it is not true that when one’s at 80s, the grandchildren must be in their 20s or 30s. That year I gave birth to my firstborn, my MIL already 78yo!

[sharonkhoo]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2129060\" time=\"1707978131\" user_id=\"17023:

When I’m in my 80s towards 90, most things are not that important to me anymore except to see my beloved ones a few more times before I go.

I think this is where we differ.

[MrsKiasu]

Was at a clinic and saw a daughter (I suppose) with a helper pushing both the parents on wheelchair. I got this thinking. The next house we move in, if any, which would likely be the last… I would like it to be of a larger space, uncluttered so that can accommodate a wheelchair or two (motorized) to move around easily.