Living in Singapore
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phtthp\" post_id=\"2130574\" time=\"1710113841\" user_id=\"35251:
I think having BTOs to complete faster and childminding services are good to have but the more serious problem is that the younger generation (like my 19yo daughter) prefers to stay single.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/singaporeans-prefer-to-have-just-one-child-instead-of-being-childless-study?utm_source=emarsys&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ST_Newsletter_AM&utm_term=Singaporeans+prefer+to+have+just+one+child%2C+instead+of+being+childless%3A+Study&utm_content=10%2F03%2F2024
She and her female friends (all still single) believe that they do not need to rely on men to give them happiness and are ok not to give birth. When they do not even think of getting married, how to give us our first grandchild?
Not forgetting that once they pass the child bearing age, it is not easy to conceive.
Govt gives $10k to entice ITE students to complete their diploma before 30yo. I believe this policy will work and a group of them will be incentivised to do so. Tongue in cheek, I asked my DD if Govt were to grant $30K to her CPF account if she ROM between 26yo to 32yo, will she consider to find a BF to settle down. DD replied yes, can consider ! Lol -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2130609\" time=\"1710213213\" user_id=\"17023:
I think we have raised a generation that thinks too much for themselves, and not for others. Although I would not want to go back to the old days when women were seen as \"servants\" of their husbands and families, and men had the chief responsibility of supporting the family, I do think modern society has become too individualistic. I think many base their decision-making on \"what's in it for me?\" rather than \"what's good for us?\", with \"us\" referring to a marriage, family, society, etc. Children require a lot of sacrifice from parents, it's true, but I see it as a way of \"paying it forward\". And they don't see the great satisfaction that comes from voluntarily serving others (and hopefully this will be mutual in any group). It seems that many of the younger generation don't see or understand that.
I think having BTOs to complete faster and childminding services are good to have but the more serious problem is that the younger generation (like my 19yo daughter) prefers to stay single.
She and her female friends (all still single) believe that they do not need to rely on men to give them happiness and are ok not to give birth. When they do not even think of getting married, how to give us our first grandchild?
Not forgetting that once they pass the child bearing age, it is not easy to conceive.
Govt gives $10k to entice ITE students to complete their diploma before 30yo. I believe this policy will work and a group of them will be incentivised to do so. Tongue in cheek, I asked my DD if Govt were to grant $30K to her CPF account if she ROM between 26yo to 32yo, will she consider to find a BF to settle down. DD replied yes, can consider ! Lol -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2130611\" time=\"1710214251\" user_id=\"28674:
Agreed with your observation.
I think we have raised a generation that thinks too much for themselves, and not for others. Although I would not want to go back to the old days when women were seen as \"servants\" of their husbands and families, and men had the chief responsibility of supporting the family, I do think modern society has become too individualistic. I think many base their decision-making on \"what's in it for me?\" rather than \"what's good for us?\", with \"us\" referring to a marriage, family, society, etc. Children require a lot of sacrifice from parents, it's true, but I see it as a way of \"paying it forward\". And they don't see the great satisfaction that comes from voluntarily serving others (and hopefully this will be mutual in any group). It seems that many of the younger generation don't see or understand that.
Like leeyl's DD, DD also mentioned that she does not need another person to give her happiness and also does not like to compromise or accomodate. Being single is a better option.
Have friends who are either divorced or in not too happy marriages, hence am also quite neutral about whether kids do marry eventually. So long as they are happy with their choice. -
Don’t worry…once they met someone they really fall in love, they will change their mind. From our encounter with those elderly single especially for local Chinese ladies, I and DH have always come to the same conclusion that - their standards are too high but the reality is (as I say before), most good quality men in Singapore are already grabbed by foreigners. Many of my colleagues and friends married with Malaysian, Thai and Indonesian Chinese who were studied or working in Singapore. The problem is not they want to be Single…it is no one want them.
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When women have a good degree and a good job, self-sufficient in terms of finances, there is no “necessity” to get married or have kids. I was one such woman. I wasn’t serious in my relationships at all and marriage was never on my mind. Until i met the one who changed my life.
And even after marriage, we never wanted kids and were very happy with the status quo. My parents nagged to no end for grandkids but i kept ignoring them. Until one day my father got terminal cancer and docs gave him max 3 years to live. My whole perspective turned right around and i decided my career was worth nothing compared to family blessings. That was when we decided to have a baby and within 2 months i was pregnant.
So don’t write off an unexpected change of mind even if DD or DS has set their mind on one path… -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2130617\" time=\"1710227978\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2130617 time=1710227978 user_id=53606]
I suppose the concern might be that if that change in perspective doesn't happen till later in life, finding a partner and having kids might be more difficult, or may not happen. But there's not a lot parents can do about it once the kids have already formed the idea that marriage and family doesn't have any appeal for them.
When women have a good degree and a good job, self-sufficient in terms of finances, there is no “necessity” to get married or have kids. I was one such woman. I wasn’t serious in my relationships at all and marriage was never on my mind. Until i met the one who changed my life.
And even after marriage, we never wanted kids and were very happy with the status quo. My parents nagged to no end for grandkids but i kept ignoring them. Until one day my father got terminal cancer and docs gave him max 3 years to live. My whole perspective turned right around and i decided my career was worth nothing compared to family blessings. That was when we decided to have a baby and within 2 months i was pregnant.
So don’t write off an unexpected change of mind even if DD or DS has set their mind on one path…[/quote] -
slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2130618\" time=\"1710228566\" user_id=\"28674:
Even they find marriage and family have appeal for them, they still need to meet the right man or lady to be the partner. In the past, young people rushing to form their family and give birth might cause more problems. DH is a typical example. :razz:
I suppose the concern might be that if that change in perspective doesn't happen till later in life, finding a partner and having kids might be more difficult, or may not happen. But there's not a lot parents can do about it once the kids have already formed the idea that marriage and family doesn't have any appeal for them. -
nowadays, many singles born after year 1990 prefer to remain single, not keen in marriage.
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At the rate this is going, this forum’s attendance will be declining - fewer parents, fewer babies, fewer kids.
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