Living in Singapore
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131124\" time=\"1711007641\" user_id=\"43981:
happy for newly wed or within few yrs of married, as can always go honeymoon as n when. no need to worry abt housework, exams , tutions, sick children etc
We have many years just overselves, minus elderly issues, personally I find marriage life before kids very happy. After having kids, I find as parents, our mind/heart always towards providing for the children..baby time, young time and when we are gone time..many times when read on planning for retirement, it always hit me ehh..where is it in our plan arh.
i did see some childless couples gotto find common interests and hobbies to do things together. else the relationship and communications tend to drift apart as days past.
there are already some spouse go gaming/golf/dancing/singing / zumba/exercise and ther other either sleep at home, watch tv , internet , online gaming etc after some time, they have their own friends again... if bad cases, meet other mates :roll: & ...... those with no kids got even more free time to do own activities with other people
It is a true that kids bring couple together cos its become a common interests, common asset, common plan, fun, love ,all emotions grow together and watch the baby grows
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Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131045\" time=\"1710943280\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131045 time=1710943280 user_id=195250]
I do not think this is even a valid reason. Unless you tell me you will tell your DS exactly the same thing as what you have posted, think before procreate, especially if he doesn’t want his offspring to end up like him when he was younger. It’s just so so weird !
If the marriage cannot last finally, the kid will be the only victim like my DS. DH's ex mother in law kept on pursue the ex wife to have kid in order to save the marriage but...finally DS become the victim. Same happened to brother in law with two toddler abandoned by their mother. Really think carefully before you raise kid.[/quote] -
There are two far extreme groups, definitely want children vs definitely don’t want children. There is also those on the fence. I used to think I definitely don’t want children too. Only realised that I wasn’t so sure, more like on the fence. That was after I have mine.
Whether children can make or break a marriage, the qualities of individuals within the couple and relationship between them. When trouble comes, it requires at least one person to keep cool, even if the other may get lost or hopeless.
Between the couple, at least one must be more willing to go beyond and the other at least must show he or she is willing to try harder and catch up or match the demands. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131129\" time=\"1711010309\" user_id=\"17023:
DS is the victim of the break up between his parents, why did I need to tell him what I had posted? :? To him, whether he wants to have kids with DIL, it is their decision, DH and I have an open mind on it.
I do not think this is even a valid reason. Unless you tell me you will tell your DS exactly the same thing as what you have posted, think before procreate, especially if he doesn’t want his offspring to end up like him when he was younger. It’s just so so weird ! -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131144\" time=\"1711014998\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131144 time=1711014998 user_id=195250]
It’s not about what you posted in KSP, it is about what you believe in, that one really needs to think carefully before raising children because they will be victims if a marriage fails. If you really believe in this statement, why don’t you share it with your son so that he would be more mindful?
DS is the victim of the break up between his parents, why did I need to tell him what I had posted? :? To him, whether he wants to have kids with DIL, it is their decision, DH and I have an open mind on it.[/quote] -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131168\" time=\"1711084713\" user_id=\"17023:
It’s not about what you posted in KSP, it is about what you believe in, that one really needs to think carefully before raising children because they will be victims if a marriage fails. If you really believe in this statement, why don’t you share it with your son so that he would be more mindful?
, Since DS has been suffering from a fail marriage or I put it as a separation of parents since he was 5 year old, do I need to remind him again how much a child has to suffer from a separation of parents? :scratchhead:
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Imp75\" post_id=\"2131122\" time=\"1711007416\" user_id=\"2358:
The earlier anecdote I shared can save some couples’ marriages from breaking up but it does not mean it will save of all the cases out there.
Indeed. Some are still inside a loveless marriage for the sake of the children and even when kids grew up, still stay on to the marriage but had been sleeping in separate rooms since kids were young. When asked why, they said there is no need to divorce to put a “label” on the kids. Even when kids grew up, there is no need for divorce to “divide” assets or house ownership etc which proves to be too messy. They each lead their own lives and only come back to the residence to sleep. From the outside, they are still considered a complete family and each has no intention to settle down with someone else..
Like what MyPillow shared earlier, some men if no kids, may find excuses not to go home early or don’t even bother to go home. After 30yrs, some marriages no more passion left, only a sense of responsibility and obligation. I believe many men think of their children (and not their wives), they will go home. 女人剩下人老珠黄，能给老公渴望回的是幸福的家庭、可爱的孩子.
Like HK actress / actor Charmine Sheh and Kevin Cheng. Both enjoyed 二人世界 for many many years but when it’s time to 传宗接代，Kevin Cheng left the mature Charmine and married a younger lady after a whirlwind courtship. This young lady immediately gave birth to 3 sons in quick succession for Kevin. Women always at the losing end. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131170\" time=\"1711086517\" user_id=\"17023:
Kevin Cheng was a playboy, he has stayed with Singer,Linda Wong王馨平 for a few years and Linda had undergone abortion in order not to affect Cheng's career (according to Apple Daily in Hong Kong).
The earlier anecdote I shared can save some couples’ marriages from breaking up but it does not mean it will save of all the cases out there.
Like what MyPillow shared earlier, some men if no kids, may find excuses not to go home early or don’t even bother to go home. After 30yrs, some marriages no more passion left, only a sense of responsibility and obligation. I believe many men think of their children (and not their wives), they will go home. 女人剩下人老珠黄，能给老公渴望回的是幸福的家庭、可爱的孩子.
Like HK actress / actor Charmine Sheh and Kevin Cheng. Both enjoyed 二人世界 for many many years but when it’s time to 传宗接代，Kevin Cheng left the mature Charmine and married a younger lady after a whirlwind courtship. This young lady immediately gave birth to 3 sons in quick succession for Kevin. Women always at the losing end.
As a wife, do you happy when your marriage only left with the responsibility and obligation to the kids? A husband can stay with his mistress for dinner or fooling around whole night ...,etc but will go home to sleep because of his responsibility towards the kids, not the passion and love for his wife. How cruel is this for his wife and the kids? The wife can have his body but you cannot have his heart, do you think it is good for the wife and kids? 做女人,要做到这样吗? :frustrated: -
The story between Kevin Cheng and Linda Wong is that of a lovelorn couple broken up by a disproving father (Jimmy Wong 王羽). Kevin Cheng had often refuted the malicious rumour about Linda Wong’s alleged abortion. Linda Wong also shared about her struggles to conceive and it is just unfair to attribute a lady’s inability to conceive to a (cooked-up) previous abortion.
Anyway, Kevin Cheng could well be a playboy when he was younger but from what I see now, he is a fun loving dad and good husband. So make sure our daughters don’t end up with playboys who just want to enjoy a lovey dovey honeymoon and when the time comes, just jet off to look for a younger wife to carry on the family line. Men can afford to do that but definitely not women.
Your question posed, whether a wife can be happy or not if marriage is only left responsibility and obligations. How would I know???? It is not as if my DH got mistress or what. :?
There is no need to be so extreme in one’s world view lah. Majority of married men are decent and responsible without mistress or having girlfriends by the sideline. My own personal experience, DH is a workaholic but would put down his work to rush home when any of our kids called him when they need help in their school work. Men can be responsible fathers and caring husbands too. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131174\" time=\"1711099364\" user_id=\"17023:
wah! yours is a model father / husband! Nice that your kids look to and trust their daddy for help!
Majority of married men are decent and responsible without mistress or having girlfriends by the sideline. My own personal experience, DH is a workaholic but would put down his work to rush home when any of our kids called him when they need help in their school work. Men can be responsible fathers and caring husbands too.
i am not sure whether is a reflection of our (lack of) prowess but our kids since Sec 1 have looked for Google or teachers for help with school work and not us. They probably think we are outdated or not in the know, oops.
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