Living in Singapore
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bbbay\" post_id=\"2131426\" time=\"1711508442\" user_id=\"175278:
I don't really know because I am already grown up and the thinking is different from a small kid. However, I hope my parents can treat me like a individual human not a dog or cat which have to follow and do what they think is correct or good for them. Putting my thoughts or preference to be the priority not their. Listening to the reasons of my wrong doing and solve my problem that I was facing. Explain to me how I could do it better next time. Accepted my limitation and gave me freedom to try what I wanted to try (no gambling or smoking, etc). Giving more trust to me as I know how to allocate my time.
On hindsight, what do you think your parents should have done to be more effective, instead of scolding or caning?
Actually there is no hindsight, because \"Life doesn't allow for us to go back and fix\". :stupid: -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131423\" time=\"1711507910\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131423 time=1711507910 user_id=195250]
Same same, explain and explain, talk talk and bribe or give incentives, also not effective for all kids. Worse, some kids become entitled. But parents can discern how to deal with their kids and reflect and review to improve.
Ha...ha... it is interesting on the discussion here and maybe it is my bad....it seems no one understand what I really wanted to say. The focus was shifted to Scolding and Caning should not be used for poor academical issues. Actually I used my eldest brother example and what he had taught me when I was small - to explain for us, we did not scare of being scolded and even caning by our parents and therefore scolding or caning were not effective on us. Our parents took their responsibility to \"correct\" us by scolding and caning but it was not effective. I agree most kids scare of scolding or caning but not all.[/quote] -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131433\" time=\"1711511828\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131433 time=1711511828 user_id=195250]
Thks for your sharing. I personally benefited a lot from it. It crystalised many of my thoughts on the need to treat children as growing in progress, individuals too.
I don't really know because I am already grown up and the thinking is different from a small kid. However, I hope my parents can treat me like a individual human not a dog or cat which have to follow and do what they think is correct or good for them. Putting my thoughts or preference to be the priority not their. Listening to the reasons of my wrong doing and solve my problem that I was facing. Explain to me how I could do it better next time. Accepted my limitation and gave me freedom to try what I wanted to try (no XXXXX or smoking, etc). Giving more trust to me as I know how to allocate my time.
Actually there is no hindsight, because \"Life doesn't allow for us to go back and fix\". :stupid:[/quote] -
In sg, we exchange the sense of security, stability and safety for some loss of freedom and individualism and creativity. Since we grew up here, not having more freedom, individualism and creativity is already in our blood. So we will not missed any of it.
Lived overseas for a good number of years, if you grow up there, you will have more space to breathe, walk slower, etc but there will be sense of insecurity (no govt to give u $$$ or build bto, housing price is crazy… Or whatsoever… Lol), expect to embrace changes (less stability) and you are responsible for own safety, so made you more alert. Unlike in sg, you will not leave your laptop or wallet on table in public places etc.
If we compare less, we will be happy. But in sg, it seems harder to not compare, don’t know why. Maybe coz we are on an island, no natural resources, or just our Asian kiasu culture. -
I guess if a mother is ok to accept any outcome, even if the child doesn’t do well in school, ITE also can, then no need to scold.
Sometimes parents have certain expectations and when these expectations are not met, it’s normal for the parents to feel disappointed I guess…
Take my DD2 for example, I know she can do well, but Math test papers full of careless mistakes, for me, I did and will scold.
As for DD1, she’s not very strong academically so my role is to help her maximize her potential.
因材施教. -
00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2131436\" time=\"1711513821\" user_id=\"143605:
This is so true.
If we compare less, we will be happy. But in sg, it seems harder to not compare, don't know why. Maybe coz we are on an island, no natural resources, or just our Asian kiasu culture. -
Can dont compare…one way is to ‘ignore’ with those who likes to compare. I am doing that now and surprisingly I don’t feel much ‘guilt’.
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Actually I am so sick of parents comparing different schools especially Junior Colleges in this forum.
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You are in ksp...but then I dont really notice anyone comparing. My comparing is something like mine is bla bla bla (how good) ..what can I say other than wow wow wow..best thing is not only say their own..their nieces & nephews also come out
in my heart I was like why tell me..you good you go celebrate with your own loved ones mah.. -
I treat "comparison" as a learning opportunity to focus on my development to reach the next level / aspiration as well as to understand the competition so that I know how to widen my comfort zone.
Am more afraid of not being aware of what I do not know 格局太小
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