Living in Singapore
-
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131433\" time=\"1711511828\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131433 time=1711511828 user_id=195250]
Thks for your sharing. I personally benefited a lot from it. It crystalised many of my thoughts on the need to treat children as growing in progress, individuals too.
I don't really know because I am already grown up and the thinking is different from a small kid. However, I hope my parents can treat me like a individual human not a dog or cat which have to follow and do what they think is correct or good for them. Putting my thoughts or preference to be the priority not their. Listening to the reasons of my wrong doing and solve my problem that I was facing. Explain to me how I could do it better next time. Accepted my limitation and gave me freedom to try what I wanted to try (no XXXXX or smoking, etc). Giving more trust to me as I know how to allocate my time.
Actually there is no hindsight, because \"Life doesn't allow for us to go back and fix\". :stupid:[/quote] -
In sg, we exchange the sense of security, stability and safety for some loss of freedom and individualism and creativity. Since we grew up here, not having more freedom, individualism and creativity is already in our blood. So we will not missed any of it.
Lived overseas for a good number of years, if you grow up there, you will have more space to breathe, walk slower, etc but there will be sense of insecurity (no govt to give u $$$ or build bto, housing price is crazy… Or whatsoever… Lol), expect to embrace changes (less stability) and you are responsible for own safety, so made you more alert. Unlike in sg, you will not leave your laptop or wallet on table in public places etc.
If we compare less, we will be happy. But in sg, it seems harder to not compare, don’t know why. Maybe coz we are on an island, no natural resources, or just our Asian kiasu culture. -
I guess if a mother is ok to accept any outcome, even if the child doesn’t do well in school, ITE also can, then no need to scold.
Sometimes parents have certain expectations and when these expectations are not met, it’s normal for the parents to feel disappointed I guess…
Take my DD2 for example, I know she can do well, but Math test papers full of careless mistakes, for me, I did and will scold.
As for DD1, she’s not very strong academically so my role is to help her maximize her potential.
因材施教. -
00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2131436\" time=\"1711513821\" user_id=\"143605:
This is so true.
If we compare less, we will be happy. But in sg, it seems harder to not compare, don't know why. Maybe coz we are on an island, no natural resources, or just our Asian kiasu culture. -
Can dont compare…one way is to ‘ignore’ with those who likes to compare. I am doing that now and surprisingly I don’t feel much ‘guilt’.
-
Actually I am so sick of parents comparing different schools especially Junior Colleges in this forum.
-
You are in ksp...but then I dont really notice anyone comparing. My comparing is something like mine is bla bla bla (how good) ..what can I say other than wow wow wow..best thing is not only say their own..their nieces & nephews also come out
in my heart I was like why tell me..you good you go celebrate with your own loved ones mah.. -
I treat "comparison" as a learning opportunity to focus on my development to reach the next level / aspiration as well as to understand the competition so that I know how to widen my comfort zone.
Am more afraid of not being aware of what I do not know 格局太小 -
For my own self I don’t mind people comparing. But not my kids coz we want them to learn at their own pace, not so competitive way…not to say not at all. I do tell dd2 to gauge herself, not with many peers but just one or two that she knows…not in a competitive way but just as a yardstick. So when she tells me 21/30, she kinda automatic now will tell me… my this classmate not bad one and she got 23/30, then she will continue to say that she is not too bad. Actually I/she don’t know what’s the best mark in the class but that’s ok.
During a period I as an adult unable to ctr myself…ppl compare, we will feel very stress and after a while I find that is not healthy. Each has different abilities. I always need to remind myself don’t get carried away…now I think I m quite free from that kind of thinking. I should enjoy my children growing up stage and my children should enjoy their learning stage. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131466\" time=\"1711538717\" user_id=\"43981:
As you point out, comparing is not bad in itself. It's when a person compares and lets it affect his self-esteem that makes it negative. When comparison causes him to belittle others (if he's better at something) or get anxious and depressed (if he is worse at something), then comparison is bad. But if like coolkidsrock2, comparison is for awareness of what is out there, and possibilities of improvement, that I think is healthy. There is a balance - at some point we have to come to terms that we have tried our best and are not likely to improve further; but if we don't know that there is more to learn/achieve, we may not even try. For our kids, we have to coach them to learn how to reach and accept that kind of balance.
For my own self I don't mind people comparing. But not my kids coz we want them to learn at their own pace, not so competitive way..not to say not at all. I do tell dd2 to gauge herself, not with many peers but just one or two that she knows..not in a competitive way but just as a yardstick. So when she tells me 21/30, she kinda automatic now will tell me.. my this classmate not bad one and she got 23/30, then she will continue to say that she is not too bad. Actually I/she don't know what's the best mark in the class but that's ok.
During a period I as an adult unable to ctr myself..ppl compare, we will feel very stress and after a while I find that is not healthy. Each has different abilities. I always need to remind myself don't get carried away...now I think I m quite free from that kind of thinking. I should enjoy my children growing up stage and my children should enjoy their learning stage.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login