Inheritance money

[mckenzy]

This thread smells more of a husband/wife relationship issue rather than about inheritance. The money is just the excuse.


i know there are variations and not everyone commits to the following but i feel that these words uttered from our mouths are a strong foundation of our pledge to one another:

"I (Groom’s Name) take thee (Bride’s Name) to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part, this is my solemn vow."

Before i married my wife, i was given a very powerful statement from a lady counselor that i hold very dear to my heart and has laid all my excuses to rest about couple-hood:

"It’s not about FINDING the right person, it is about BEING the right person".

Here’s wishing everyone a Happy New Year with your spouses. May you grow to love each other more deeply, more sacrificially, with more thought to the other half than to ourselves.

[wonderm]

slmkhoo:

MMM:

[quote=\"3Boys\"] Moral of the story: Have no expectation of inheritance money and have every expectation of having to bear the burden of looking after parents. Once you get to that mode of thinking, nothing can upset you.

:goodpost: We strongly believe in this as well.

Agree. I have told my parents to use whatever they have for themselves and in whatever way they wish. If I inherit anything, it will be a bonus, not something I count on, and hopefully not for many years yet. Between my brother and myself (only 2 of us in the family), I hope we will settle things amicably. Similarly with needing to look after parents when they get old and/or sick. I have also told my girls that the best gift we parents can give them is to be able to provide for ourselves and not rely on them, and that anything they inherit will be a bonus (and probably small!). We want them to make their own way in the world and live within their means, whether large or small.[/quote]My thinking about inheritance money is similar.

As children, we all have the responsibility of looking after aging parents. It should not be dependent on whether there is going to be any inheritance money left in future.

For my parents and in-laws, we are perfectly fine if they spend most of their savings on themselves, split equally among their children, or give more to their favorite child, or give more to those children who are financially less well-to-do, or donate to the charities of their choice. It is their savings after all, they should have the freedom to decide what to do.

I am glad DH thinks the same way and we told our parents our thinking. We also told our children so they should expect the same when it is our turn.

[wonderm]

Funz:

As for caring for parents, this I see as a separate matter. It should not be dependant on how much money one has obtained or will be inheriting from the parents. It is our duty to care for them after the years of care and nurturing they have given to us.

Strongly agree!

[cool_hi]

Of course the parents are free to do what they want with their $…

But as this is their hard-earned $ for retirement, so I think it is not right/appropriate for the son+wife to ask for such a big sum of $ from them, for their own use…
unless both parents have already passed away, & totally have no use for the $…
My grandmother was soft-hearted+slowly gave all the propertoes+$ which my grandpa left behind, to all her sons, whom some were gamblers…
End up, she had no money left for herself during her old age, which by right, she actually could live comfortably, otherwise…
She was warned, but refused to listen…& YES, she was free to make her choice …
so that’s why, I feel that if it is after parents passed away, then children use the inheritance $(whichever way it is distributed, solely up to the parents),then it is appropriate…if it’s before parents pass away, as children, for the sake of thinking for the parents, children should only take it as a loan, but not as ‘advance’ inheritance $…
Anyway, that is just my own opinion…
For me+hubby, we will make known to our kids that our properties+investments, are our retirement funds…we will not sell away unless we need to fund for their studies, if they need to go overseas…
& only when we passed away, if the properties & investments are still around, then we will distribute equally…There will be no such things as son get more than girl…& in the 1st place, hubby favours girl more actually…haha!
But i told him, we should be fair…unless, for e.g., unfortunately, if say the son is a gambler, then we may leave most to DDs, but instruct them to help brother, if he is in dire situation…not sure how to do it though, but hope we don’t need to handle such headaches!! haha

[newbieks]

If parents have joint fixed deposit accounts with a particular child, or a few children (but not all), is it a silent understanding that whatever amount in those fixed deposits belong to the respective child when the parents have passed on? Parents left no will.

[zac's mum]

newbieks\" post_id=\"2131899\" time=\"1712048446\" user_id=\"178749:

If parents have joint fixed deposit accounts with a particular child, or a few children (but not all), is it a silent understanding that whatever amount in those fixed deposits belong to the respective child when the parents have passed on? Parents left no will.

Not necessarily:

https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/joint-bank-account-monies-one-owner-dies/

[newbieks]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2131900\" time=\"1712049648\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2131900 time=1712049648 user_id=53606]
Not necessarily:

https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/joint-bank-account-monies-one-owner-dies/[/quote]

Tks, this is looking from the legal perspective. I was more referring to the case when the child has no legal problem taking over the joint account. In such cases, would most think that it is only right that the child keep all the money to himself, or should be distributed evenly among siblings? I do understand that there is no right or wrong answer in such cases, unless the other siblings feel strongly against the child keeping all the money to himself, to the extent of going to court.

[zac's mum]

newbieks\" post_id=\"2131903\" time=\"1712051327\" user_id=\"178749:

Tks, this is looking from the legal perspective. I was more referring to the case when the child has no legal problem taking over the joint account. In such cases, would most think that it is only right that the child keep all the money to himself, or should be distributed evenly among siblings? I do understand that there is no right or wrong answer in such cases, unless the other siblings feel strongly against the child keeping all the money to himself, to the extent of going to court.

I do not know whether the fixed deposit bank will permit the surviving joint account holder to withdraw all the money single-handedly. If that’s feasible then i suppose whether the child wants to share it is up to him/her.

[sharonkhoo]

newbieks\" post_id=\"2131903\" time=\"1712051327\" user_id=\"178749:

Tks, this is looking from the legal perspective. I was more referring to the case when the child has no legal problem taking over the joint account. In such cases, would most think that it is only right that the child keep all the money to himself, or should be distributed evenly among siblings? I do understand that there is no right or wrong answer in such cases, unless the other siblings feel strongly against the child keeping all the money to himself, to the extent of going to court.

It's all to do with the siblings' understanding of what the deceased intended when the account was set up. Unless there is a common understanding, there is likely to be a dispute when the situation arises. In the absence of the deceased having made it clear in word or in writing, it can get messy without good will on all sides.

[Liew Nga Wing]

It has been such case before in lianhe zaobao,

https://www.zaobao.com.sg/news/singapore/story20230511-1393394