Me Time!
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When i was doing my undergrad in Australia, during the long uni vacations i had nothing to do, so i decided to take on minimum wage jobs (quite high hourly pay actually) to supplement my spending account.
With the money earned, and using the remaining blocks of time, I took driving lessons from a hk-turned aussie citizen, and passed the driving test after 15 lessons or so. Subsequently bought a 3rd-hand manual car for AUD 2000.
Did not tell my parents any of this. When my mum came to visit, I drove her around in that car & she realized I was a safe and responsible driver, so she didnt raise any objections (though she threw a big fit when she first found out).
Actually the more controlling the parent is, the less likely the child will tell them about such things. I chose not to tell because I knew she would have a million objections & she’s also a natural worrier.
I dunno when it comes to my DS’ turn to learn driving, will he be willing to tell me or not. But i do agree, he does not need my permission if the law deems him old enough to be responsible.
(Did i just scare some ksps even more about overseas education lol) -
In many overseas countries, one really needs to have a car to get around. Too far, can’t see may be not so worried.
But when in SG, still staying under the same roof, best is don’t hide.
Singapore’s roads are very busy, easily peasy kiss another car’s bumper, the compensation cost is equivalent to that of a 2nd hand car overseas.
That time someone complained to newspaper, scratch a bit, need to compensate the rental company $9k? -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132600\" time=\"1713059074\" user_id=\"17023:
I don't approve of kids hiding things from parents in general, but I wouldn't expect them to ask permission for a lot of things as they get older. Exactly what depends on the individual and the parents, I guess. My kids tend to tell us a lot, sometimes more than I feel necessary. They don't 'ask' much now unless it encroaches on 'my' areas, but they are in their mid-20s already.
In many overseas countries, one really needs to have a car to get around. Too far, can’t see may be not so worried.
But when in SG, still staying under the same roof, best is don’t hide.
Singapore’s roads are very busy, easily peasy kiss another car’s bumper, the compensation cost is equivalent to that of a 2nd hand car overseas. That time someone complained to newspaper, scratch a bit, need to compensate the rental company $9k? -
My dd though is clumsy and disorganized to me, I know she is the bold type. When they were young, i always portrayed myself as someone hopeless trying to delayed them to usage of hp/internet and turned out they learned it themselves and became the one we go to when when my mom and I have some troubles.
There were many incidences on which dd told me that my worries are groundless and I should really chill and not to worry so much about them. Some kids esp when younger, will listen to us even though they don’t agree because they love us don’t want to hurt us etc and suppress what they really want. Not sure how much of our explanation as to NO, will they really accept.
Now most time I choose to go with their flow, more as a friend I feel. I m still learning. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132600\" time=\"1713059074\" user_id=\"17023:
In many overseas countries, one really needs to have a car to get around. Too far, can’t see may be not so worried.
But when in SG, still staying under the same roof, best is don’t hide.
Singapore’s roads are very busy, easily peasy kiss another car’s bumper, the compensation cost is equivalent to that of a 2nd hand car overseas. That time someone complained to newspaper, scratch a bit, need to compensate the rental company $9k?
Sometimes I do wonder if they will ask to paint whole car when it is just a small scratch, so ex. -
Talking abt it…now quite many at the age are having crushes. Dd will share with me some of the topics they talked in school. And I always ask if she has any…there were at least 2 times when we were in our family chat group, I told dd can ‘grab’ one if is good…daddy quickly add NO, dont not so soon lol.
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Sometimes, it is not the issue of hiding or not hiding. Everyone need to have some privacy. This is what I believe is the way to run a family. When I asked DH something and found that he did not want to answer, then I would never ask again and never try to find out in other ways. DH is doing same to me and DS.
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For me and dh, his work and his side family matters I will not interfere.
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Perhaps it‘s like…keep telling the kid, “don’t keep playing handphone, or else you may fail exam.” Kids didn’t listen and failed an exam, they would learn the lesson and think, ya, maybe my mum is right…
This time what’s done is done, no need to dwell on the matter further, maybe just say, “next time anything pls tell me!”
Every year my cousin would bring his wife and kids for overseas holidays but never inform my aunt when they will be leaving or going to which country. My aunt was upset and because he never says, she also pretends she doesn’t care. So “privacy” becomes a habit, I guess. -
I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.
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