Me Time!
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My dd though is clumsy and disorganized to me, I know she is the bold type. When they were young, i always portrayed myself as someone hopeless trying to delayed them to usage of hp/internet and turned out they learned it themselves and became the one we go to when when my mom and I have some troubles.
There were many incidences on which dd told me that my worries are groundless and I should really chill and not to worry so much about them. Some kids esp when younger, will listen to us even though they don’t agree because they love us don’t want to hurt us etc and suppress what they really want. Not sure how much of our explanation as to NO, will they really accept.
Now most time I choose to go with their flow, more as a friend I feel. I m still learning. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132600\" time=\"1713059074\" user_id=\"17023:
In many overseas countries, one really needs to have a car to get around. Too far, can’t see may be not so worried.
But when in SG, still staying under the same roof, best is don’t hide.
Singapore’s roads are very busy, easily peasy kiss another car’s bumper, the compensation cost is equivalent to that of a 2nd hand car overseas.
That time someone complained to newspaper, scratch a bit, need to compensate the rental company $9k?
Sometimes I do wonder if they will ask to paint whole car when it is just a small scratch, so ex. -
Talking abt it…now quite many at the age are having crushes. Dd will share with me some of the topics they talked in school. And I always ask if she has any…there were at least 2 times when we were in our family chat group, I told dd can ‘grab’ one if is good…daddy quickly add NO, dont not so soon lol.
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Sometimes, it is not the issue of hiding or not hiding. Everyone need to have some privacy. This is what I believe is the way to run a family. When I asked DH something and found that he did not want to answer, then I would never ask again and never try to find out in other ways. DH is doing same to me and DS.
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For me and dh, his work and his side family matters I will not interfere.
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Perhaps it‘s like…keep telling the kid, “don’t keep playing handphone, or else you may fail exam.” Kids didn’t listen and failed an exam, they would learn the lesson and think, ya, maybe my mum is right…
This time what’s done is done, no need to dwell on the matter further, maybe just say, “next time anything pls tell me!”
Every year my cousin would bring his wife and kids for overseas holidays but never inform my aunt when they will be leaving or going to which country. My aunt was upset and because he never says, she also pretends she doesn’t care. So “privacy” becomes a habit, I guess. -
I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.
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lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132608\" time=\"1713060987\" user_id=\"17023:
For going overseas, I feel as parents we would like to know. Go without us nevermind..coz so many things happening around the world..can be very worrying.
Perhaps it‘s like…keep telling the kid, “don’t keep playing handphone, or else you may fail exam.” Kids didn’t listen and failed an exam, they would learn the lesson and think, ya, maybe my mum is right…
This time what’s done is done, no need to dwell on the matter further, maybe just say, “next time anything pls tell me!”
Every year my cousin would bring his wife and kids for overseas holidays but never inform my aunt when they will be leaving or going to which country. My aunt was upset and because he never says, she also pretends she doesn’t care. So “privacy” becomes a habit, I guess. -
I think it is different when it comes to our children who are adults, young adults, teens, preteens, or primary and preschoolers.
I would expect my preschoolers and primary schoolers to ask permission and tell me most things that is happening with them and around them.
Preteens, I understand that there will be some things that they will not be ready to share at times but they will still have to ask permission for most things.
Teens, they will need more privacy and some autonomy. For going out, buying things that is outside their normal schedule and expenditures, they will have to seek our agreement.
Young adults, by then we hope that they will be discerning enough for us to be able to trust that they will know to come to us and discuss with us if it involves serious decisions. I want to be informed or be given a general idea of who they hang out with and where they go, so that if anything were to happen, I will know where they are and the alternative ways to reach them.
By the time they are adults in their mid 20s, it will have to be up to them what they are comfortable sharing with us. Hopefully they understand our concerns as parents and know that they can confide anything with us.
Up till this day, I will still update my parents of most major happenings in our family. Change of job, move house, reno house, travelling, etc. For us sisters, when we travel, we will always update our mum, when we are at the airport, when we arrive at destination country, sometimes mid travel depending on the duration of the trip, when at destination airport about to depart and upon arrival. We do this because we know our mum will worry. -
starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132609\" time=\"1713061807\" user_id=\"14025:
Star,
I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.
I have spoken to many of my male colleagues and I have concluded things that men don't like their wives to do :
1. Calling them to ask where they are and when come home when they are working or gathering with friends outside. The need faces in front of their colleagues and friends
2. Complaining when they lend their money to relatives or friends because they are the one to earn the money
3. Assume his money is your money....his money is his money, your money is your money.
4. Keeping on asking or find out something they don’t want wives to know or something about the past.
5. Complaining their wrong doings in the past.
6. Force them to do something they don't like. For example, I always eating buffet with my friends but DH has never joined me because he said he don't know them and don't like to gather with newcomers. I understand and never ask them to join me again despite my friends keep on asking why I don't persuade DH to come.
7. Searching their handphone, reading their messages when they are having baths.
I don't how many papa will agree with me here. To wives, we have our principles that men should respect and love the family and therefore they should.........but to men, they may not have the same thinking. If we find DH have different thinking with us, don't hope one day they will change and follow us.
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