Me Time!

[Funz]

I think it is different when it comes to our children who are adults, young adults, teens, preteens, or primary and preschoolers.


I would expect my preschoolers and primary schoolers to ask permission and tell me most things that is happening with them and around them.

Preteens, I understand that there will be some things that they will not be ready to share at times but they will still have to ask permission for most things.

Teens, they will need more privacy and some autonomy. For going out, buying things that is outside their normal schedule and expenditures, they will have to seek our agreement.

Young adults, by then we hope that they will be discerning enough for us to be able to trust that they will know to come to us and discuss with us if it involves serious decisions. I want to be informed or be given a general idea of who they hang out with and where they go, so that if anything were to happen, I will know where they are and the alternative ways to reach them.

By the time they are adults in their mid 20s, it will have to be up to them what they are comfortable sharing with us. Hopefully they understand our concerns as parents and know that they can confide anything with us.

Up till this day, I will still update my parents of most major happenings in our family. Change of job, move house, reno house, travelling, etc. For us sisters, when we travel, we will always update our mum, when we are at the airport, when we arrive at destination country, sometimes mid travel depending on the duration of the trip, when at destination airport about to depart and upon arrival. We do this because we know our mum will worry.  

[Liew Nga Wing]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132609\" time=\"1713061807\" user_id=\"14025:

I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.

Star,
I have spoken to many of my male colleagues and I have concluded things that men don't like their wives to do :
1. Calling them to ask where they are and when come home when they are working or gathering with friends outside. The need faces in front of their colleagues and friends
2. Complaining when they lend their money to relatives or friends because they are the one to earn the money
3. Assume his money is your money....his money is his money, your money is your money.
4. Keeping on asking or find out something they don’t want wives to know or something about the past.
5. Complaining their wrong doings in the past.
6. Force them to do something they don't like. For example, I always eating buffet with my friends but DH has never joined me because he said he don't know them and don't like to gather with newcomers. I understand and never ask them to join me again despite my friends keep on asking why I don't persuade DH to come.
7. Searching their handphone, reading their messages when they are having baths.

I don't how many papa will agree with me here. To wives, we have our principles that men should respect and love the family and therefore they should.........but to men, they may not have the same thinking. If we find DH have different thinking with us, don't hope one day they will change and follow us.

[lee_yl]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132609\" time=\"1713061807\" user_id=\"14025:

I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.

When everything is pushed to “privacy”, then the term “privacy” is overused. If my 18yo were to sleep over at a friend’s house (never mention who), then is this “privacy issues” or ???

It’s just a matter of time, all parents will experience all these. Again, must see the nature of the issue and the kids’ age. Some things can close one eye, some things cannot.

[lee_yl]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2132610\" time=\"1713062702\" user_id=\"43981:

For going overseas, I feel as parents we would like to know. Go without us nevermind..coz so many things happening around the world..can be very worrying.

Check Instagram/Facebook? Lol

[MrsKiasu]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132615\" time=\"1713064461\" user_id=\"17023:

Check Instagram/Facebook? Lol

:faint:

[Funz]

DS dun have insta or facebook. Or rather he has insta that he has never updated since setting it up initially. No facebook.


DD is a little more active on insta but also not very updated.

Wanna stalk also cannot.

[zac's mum]

I thought nowadays is Whatsapp status update…

[MrsKiasu]

I m very outdated. I asked my mom not to post my kids photos. I told my kids not use too much social media. Dd told me she just use it on normal stuffs. And yea, my mom knows some of her grandchildren movements through social media and update us sometimes.

[Funz]

Just as we are talking about keeping parents informed. Mum just called me to ask me how is DS.


DS is down with a bad cough again. I did not even inform mum about it but my sisters know as we chat daily and I told them I was at the clinic with DS on Hari Raya and I was complaining about the cost of the consultation at the 24hr clinic.

One of them must have told my mum and mum just called to ask if he is better.

I think that is how family should be like. Yes we get into each other’s business and sometimes we get onto each other’s nerves. But we show each other concern. Sometimes we pry a little, sometimes we push and prod a little. But we usually know when to stop and step back to give each other some space as well.

[MrsKiasu]

Hope your ds is better now, Funz.


Especially when we dont see each other very often, to keep ourselves updated of how each and everyone is faring via some forms of cross communication is comforting.

This morning, I was arranging with my mom only chat, to buy groceries then my sis talking to me of some news involving just 2 of us directly on our family group chat…my moms suggested that we bring it over to 2 pax chat as her hp keeps beeping.