Me Time!
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I also believe in keeping family members informed of our doings. More details for those in the same household, but less for those living apart. I tell my parents whenever I leave the country, but not which days I won’t be home for dinner! I expect a certain level of info from my kids who live in my home - like whether they will be home for dinner (courtesy for the cook!) but they didn’t ask permission once they were past JC. Maybe I draw a more distinct line between info and permission - if I require them to inform me, that’s not asking permission. I may comment but no longer feel the right to forbid.
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I was brought up to seek permission n to inform parents esp Mum . I think for girls , parents worry abt more : our safety, our friends , what type of male / female friends we hang with , what food we eat , healthy or u healthy etc
I felt “suppressed “ sometimes😆 I was happy to get married as I no need to inform when I will be home late after party . Or get naggings even at 26 yo!
But I think expectations for son got to be different.
How abt Dh? Does your dh keep his mum inform abt most things ? I will remind him to tell his mum abt our holiday trips n biz trips . To call his mum when he is back in sg after our holidays . -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2132627\" time=\"1713067553\" user_id=\"43981:
Wow your mum know how to post photo in social media ?
I m very outdated. I asked my mom not to post my kids photos. I told my kids not use too much social media. Dd told me she just use it on normal stuffs. And yea, my mom knows some of her grandchildren movements through social media and update us sometimes.
We are kids friends in their SM acct , so far we just see n dun comment . We are under iPhone Family Grp , can see each other location., we are open n happy to keep it transparent. We told them for safety sake -
Funz\" post_id=\"2132628\" time=\"1713068769\" user_id=\"6230:
funz
Just as we are talking about keeping parents informed. Mum just called me to ask me how is DS.
DS is down with a bad cough again. I did not even inform mum about it but my sisters know as we chat daily and I told them I was at the clinic with DS on Hari Raya and I was complaining about the cost of the consultation at the 24hr clinic.
One of them must have told my mum and mum just called to ask if he is better.
I think that is how family should be like. Yes we get into each other's business and sometimes we get onto each other's nerves. But we show each other concern. Sometimes we pry a little, sometimes we push and prod a little. But we usually know when to stop and step back to give each other some space as well.
you are blessed with a close knitted family. I wish mine is such.
Asking is a show of concern or care. We dont ask strangers how they are etc. Again, not all will think in this way. -
MyPillow\" post_id=\"2132638\" time=\"1713086505\" user_id=\"70594:
Uh... I think she meant that her mother monitors her grand kids' accounts like a policewoman...
Wow your mum know how to post photo in social media ?
We are kids friends in their SM acct , so far we just see n dun comment . We are under iPhone Family Grp , can see each other location., we are open n happy to keep it transparent. We told them for safety sake
We can try, but kids today, they will always come up with ways to defeat our \"security\"... -
starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132639\" time=\"1713086571\" user_id=\"14025:
Asking is not the same as expecting permission to be sought. I think kids do appreciate concern, but not efforts to control them once they are adults.
funz
you are blessed with a close knitted family. I wish mine is such.
Asking is a show of concern or care. We dont ask strangers how they are etc. Again, not all will think in this way. -
ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2132644\" time=\"1713088425\" user_id=\"3:
When my daughter studied overseas, besides our regular chats and WA, she told me that following her on Instagram was the best way to keep up with her activities. She knew I was interested but wouldn't expect to be asked permission.
Uh... I think she meant that her mother monitors her grand kids' accounts like a policewoman...
We can try, but kids today, they will always come up with ways to defeat our \"security\"...
And both my girls still tell me where they go and with whom as a safety precaution. My husband and I give them the same courtesy as we live in the same household. -
No policewoman, just that grandkids post, the grandma saw it. Yea grandma is active in aocial media with friends. Likes to take pictures too…
Though not living together, we will still message in our group chat like reached destination/home. We have our sisters& mom group chat for many years then added my brother few years ago. Dont have time to listen to all chat nevermind…if we have certain chat to that particular person we will put up the name. We find it more efficient as in all in the loop.
With my dh’s side, we have another group chat. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2132647\" time=\"1713094152\" user_id=\"43981:
My mum n her sisters, have this type of chat
No policewoman, just that grandkids post, the grandma saw it. Yea grandma is active in aocial media with friends. Likes to take pictures too..
Though not living together, we will still message in our group chat like reached destination/home. We have our sisters& mom group chat for many years then added my brother few years ago. Dont have time to listen to all chat nevermind..if we have certain chat to that particular person we will put up the name. We find it more efficient as in all in the loop.
With my dh's side, we have another group chat.
Grp too . N they use voice messages . Everyday also got updates . My mum will read / listen to all msg frequently. I think it’s a sister thing , families with more women/sisters , chat , updates, travel , get together more often . The husbands also need to join in 😆 -
It’s quite easy to keep tab/check pulse through group chats and video calls (for kids, can observe the background/surrounding - 看穿不说穿）
Have always been jokingly telling kids they are Sun Wukong and I am Rulai Fo, cannot escape from 5-fingers, and Rulai will drop in to spot-check them to ensure no "excursion" from my "monitoring". They still tell me where they are going, what they buy/eat, who they go with, …"
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