Rewarding Kids with Screen Time – What’s Your Take?”

[HNS2015]

Hi fellow parents,

I’d like to hear your thoughts on something I’ve been trying at home. I sometimes use screen time as a way to reward my 10-year-old children—for example, after they finish their homework or complete their chores.

On one hand, it motivates them to get things done quickly. But on the other hand, I’m also concerned about whether this will make them too dependent on screens or see screen time as the “ultimate reward.”

What do you think? Is it okay to use screen time as a reward for kids this age? Have any of you tried this with your own children, and how did it work out?

Looking forward to hearing your experiences and advice!

[thebottomsupblog]

@HNS2015 Hi! I have a 14yo. While we don’t really use screen time as a reward, we have this rule:

Focus on work till about 6PM every day. If you’ve done something substantial (e.g. complete paper 1 + paper 2 for at least one subject), after that you can use your time however you like, be it playing games, watching YT etc.

I think it’s quite hard for kids (and adults) these days to find something else to do that’s not screen-related. I was just telling my husband yesterday that if we want them to do something else, we have to suggest and do the activity together, be it play a board game, watch a movie (still needs a screen!), go out for a walk/run and so on.

[sharonkhoo]

@thebottomsupblog said in Rewarding Kids with Screen Time – What’s Your Take?”:

@HNS2015 Hi! I have a 14yo. While we don’t really use screen time as a reward, we have this rule:

Focus on work till about 6PM every day. If you’ve done something substantial (e.g. complete paper 1 + paper 2 for at least one subject), after that you can use your time however you like, be it playing games, watching YT etc.

I think it’s quite hard for kids (and adults) these days to find something else to do that’s not screen-related. I was just telling my husband yesterday that if we want them to do something else, we have to suggest and do the activity together, be it play a board game, watch a movie (still needs a screen!), go out for a walk/run and so on.

I agree that it’s hard to find non-screen activities these days, and I think that we have to be a bit flexible. Not all screen use is just passive scrolling. But I would want to set a maximum screen use limit for each day, simply for preserving eyesight!

I see nothing inherently bad about rewarding with screen time either. Again, with some limits about how long and what they use it for. And yes, if they haven’t built a habit of doing things off-screen, then parents should guide, and also set an example. Perhaps get them to make a list with you of things that they can do without screens, and you can support by getting the equipment (e.g. for sports, music), setting up a space (e.g. for arts and crafts), etc.

[HNS2015]

@thebottomsupblog Thanks for sharing! Totally agree it’s hard these days to do anything non-screen! Just wondering, when your son was at age 10-12, did you set any limits on how long he could use screens after his work is done? At the age of 14 now I would think is tough to micromanage

[HNS2015]

@slmkhoo Thanks for your input! I like your point about not all screen use being passive – that’s true, some content can be really educational or creative. However my husband is not agreeing to let our children access without either of us being around. Setting a daily max for eyesight makes sense too. I really like your idea of making a list together with the kids for non-screen activities, then supporting them with the space or equipment. I have been trying to set up an art and craft corner at home … hopefully will help them build new habits.

[sharonkhoo]

@HNS2015 said in Rewarding Kids with Screen Time – What’s Your Take?”:

@slmkhoo Thanks for your input! I like your point about not all screen use being passive – that’s true, some content can be really educational or creative. However my husband is not agreeing to let our children access without either of us being around. Setting a daily max for eyesight makes sense too. I really like your idea of making a list together with the kids for non-screen activities, then supporting them with the space or equipment. I have been trying to set up an art and craft corner at home … hopefully will help them build new habits.

At 10, I would be strict about going online without supervision as well. Even when my girls were in sec school, when social media was tamer (I think), we said that they should use their phones and computers with their doors open. And I would pop in and out now and again. When younger, they had to be in the living room. We set quite strict rules about what exactly they could do on their computers/phones - e.g. no messaging people they didn’t know in person, all games and videos had to be approved by us first (no random surfing), strict time limits (initially just 30 mins a day).

But I was a SAHM - if both parents are out much of the time, that makes it harder to control. I can’t help you - never had to think about that. By the time my kids were in sec school, they had got used to our rules, and we felt that they were trustworthy enough for us to relax the supervision a bit. They were quite measured - they didn’t even have data till they were in JC as they were mostly either in school or at home.

[thebottomsupblog]

@HNS2015 When he was 10-12, he had a lot of badminton training (school team), so there was less “idle” time

Actually both my kids were in school teams for primary school: they trained 3-4x a week, and there was also weekend training… by the time we got home, it could be 6PM or even later! In a way, that removed the need for me to set any screen time limits.

But it would also have been hard for me to monitor them too closely — I work from home, so I’m usually glued to my screen! My kids use their devices outside, in the living room or our open plan workspace. They don’t use screens secretly, but sometimes they might still clock in a lot of screen time without me being fully aware, especially now that my son isn’t in competitive sports anymore.

[HNS2015]

@slmkhoo Thanks for sharing your experience! I also agree with the “doors open” and “living room only” rules. I’ve been doing the same whenever I’m at home. I don’t know much about games myself, but I usually get my kids to explain the ones they’re playing with their friends. For videos, they mostly watch YouTube on the TV, and I’ll step in if I catch them watching anything too nonsensical. It’s definitely tougher when both parents aren’t always around, but it’s encouraging to hear how your rules worked out well for your kids.

[HNS2015]

@thebottomsupblog said in Rewarding Kids with Screen Time – What’s Your Take?”:

@HNS2015 When he was 10-12, he had a lot of badminton training (school team), so there was less “idle” time

Actually both my kids were in school teams for primary school: they trained 3-4x a week, and there was also weekend training… by the time we got home, it could be 6PM or even later! In a way, that removed the need for me to set any screen time limits.

But it would also have been hard for me to monitor them too closely — I work from home, so I’m usually glued to my screen! My kids use their devices outside, in the living room or our open plan workspace. They don’t use screens secretly, but sometimes they might still clock in a lot of screen time without me being fully aware, especially now that my son isn’t in competitive sports anymore.

Thanks for sharing! With that much training, I can see why screen time limits weren’t really an issue. It’s great that your kids are used to using devices in open areas, that really helps with trust.

[lakshmiSG563]

@HNS2015 said in Rewarding Kids with Screen Time – What’s Your Take?”:

I’d like to hear your thoughts on something I’ve been trying at home. I sometimes use screen time as a way to reward my 10-year-old children—for example, after they finish their homework or complete their chores.

I think using screen time as a reward for completing homework or chores is a great idea! It effectively motivates kids and teaches responsibility. I use a similar method with my 9-year-old, creating a good routine where rewards feel earned. This approach fosters balance and works better than nagging. I’m interested to hear how others manage this too!