Bullying across schools... But not all schools are the same

[rinsider]

New deterrent measures against bullying as announced by MOE on April 15th.

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/school-bullying-punishment-caning-moe-6056521

I zoomed in more on the chart instead. Was surprised to see that caning will apply to upper primary boys onwards.

I have sort of mixed feelings to this. My son went to a boys’ school for 10 years, where rough play, teasing, cussing and physical fights were common. Based on the above, he and his then peers would be doomed from upper primary age at the age of… 9? 10?

My girl meanwhile, went to a girls’ school where the students may have had a more prominent type of bullying profile altogether based on their gender. Like, snide remarks, group exclusions, other ostracising behaviours. And yes, girls can be physically aggressive too.

I don’t mean to stereotype, but certain behaviours do become more prevalent in a single-gender school environment.

Hopefully it is not a one-size-fits-all approach for these bullying penalties.

Boys have traditionally been taught to stand up for themselves and deal with the issue independently until it culminates.

Back to the measures. Boys and girls may have different “bullying” approaches or ideas about what even bullying actually means. What is bullying actually across different age groups? Is it constant physical altercations? Malicious cyber bullying which can be hard to trace? Constant verbal taunting?

Yes, all of the these constitute bullying no doubt. But to a child or minor, when is enough, enough?
Same for parents… Would I raise my a ruckus if my son was shoved once? How about more secretive daughters?

Sure, our generation was different as there was no online element involved. But I would be interested in seeing how we can handle this very delicate situation especially in gender-specific schools, which are fast dwindling (might do a separate ho-hum in that).

My post may not make the greatest sense, but
I am actually more interested in building our kids’ resilience, the avenues for them to be whistleblowers - like at corporate workplaces - and the extent where they truly realize the repercussions of their actions as independent thinkers, instead of relying on their “stakeholder” parents’ constant interventions.

I certainly would not want a new generation of kids to go crying to mummy and daddy at every perceived slight.

Everything is just loaded with punishments and penalties. Yet MOE is advocating “critical thinking”. Yesh, it extends beyond academics too.

[thebottomsupblog]

@rinsider We had a discussion about this last night, with some friends (also parents)!

Among our group, we have one neighbourhood sec school teacher and one allied educator.

Some points:

• Girls bully as well, so what’s the punitive measures for them, and are these effective? Or we are sticking with less-effective measures for girls, due to their perceived physical vulnerability?
• What teachers see on the ground: the victim is seldom adequately supported. Gentler measures such as corrective work don’t have much effect. Getting teens to help out in school (e.g. cleaning toilets) requires plenty of time and effort from already overstretched teachers.
• It’s unrealistic/unfair to expect teachers to do double-duty as therapists, coaches. Teachers are not experts in behavioural change. Perhaps every school needs a dedicated team to handle these non-academic challenges, not just a handful of counsellors?
• Will school caning, the way it is currently carried out, really serve as a bullying deterrent, or is it performative?
• We talked about the whistleblowing aspect as well. We know of teachers who are alerted to fights and they personally intervene. But not everyone has that relationship with their students, and that’s not a real solution.
• We also talked about victims, especially male victims, who may not talk to anyone about what they’re facing.