Club SAHM
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pummanuel:
To make things worse, even their husbands will question them when the children do not perform.
And when they go for family gatherings, parents and siblings from both sides will start to ponder aloud, \"Wow, your kid has you to tuition full time, results still like that ah?\". (Inversely, those whose children are doing well get comments like \"Of course your children can do well, you are so free, can teach them.\" And this gets SAHMs mad too as people just don't realise the amount of sacrifice, planning, juggling they need to do.)
And when they go for class gatherings, they see their working peers doing well in their careers, staying in private properties, driving big cars and children doing well in school. That's the last straw.
So they started to pour their grouses to me, telling me to be mentally prepared (as mine is only 4 years old)...eeeek...
I guess the SAHMs already felt bad with the results and with the constant reminders by others, the 'sense of guilt' just sank in and a couple also have that sense of worthlessness. Scary.
How very true! SAHM is indeed a grossly under appreciated job
I don't think I will blame myself if their academics didn't meet my expecation. Already tried my best 问心无愧
The problem is hubby feels that I'm already doing such an excellent job hence he can afford to be hands-off. I told him I will definitely blame him :scared: unless he can demonstrate the same commitment as I do -
Okay, I am not SAHM. But just want to say that though I am FTWM, I also feel the same way, everything about my kids and the household are my responsibility. DH not helping much, though he will not deliberately blame me but his comments can sometimes be :stupid:
DD scored below average in her test, he ask me what happened. DS made some mistakes in his tingxie, he ask me why never revise with him issit. Kids fall sick he ask me when am I bringing them to see the doctor. DD in afternoon session, he ask me what's she doing the whole morning. I set some work for her to do in the morning and will go through with her in the evenings, he tell me not to stress her. Ran out of fresh milk, he ask my why never replenish. Haiyoh the list goes on.
Point is, I guess, regardless of whether you are a SAHM or FTWM, the guilt will still be there. Conversely for us, we get the 'yah you want more money mah so you sacrifice your kids' and leave them to your maid, if they do well it is no effort of yours.'
What to do, ours is a critical society and the biggest critics tend to be ourselves. -
Hubby works from home few days a week, but he’s usually ‘untouchable’ bcos of endless conference calls.
I do my part for son’s Science notes…also planning CA/SA time-tables on top of his daily assignments after his school hw. After marking, have to explain the mistakes made. In the evening/night, I expect my hubby to demonstrate the same committment for Math/Science.
It’s a thank-less job staying at home. I don’t even have time to see a doctor unless I’m in pain (like wisdom tooth giving me pain 3 days ago). 4 days MC given by dentist is of no use :x :x
Everything is my responsibility. If kids have no manners, people don’t blame the father. Agree ??? What the kids eat is also my responsibility.
Idiotic hubby grew up eating economy rice but I want my kids to have nutritious meals, so even a simple home-made soup and rice is better than char siew rice or chicken rice from downstairs.
Oh yes, now no maid. If there is a maid, I hear comments like ‘no need to do housework, got maid to cook and do this/that’. Good life at home.’
Now no maid, I make hubby help out with housework to save $$$. -
Sometimes I wonder if the guys in Singapore still mostly possess the \"MCP\" mentality which I really hate :x
I have many friends who work full time, earn more than their hubbies, but yet the men still expect the wife to be FULLY responsible for all domestic matters, from maid issues, kids upbringing, education to all nitty gritty issues !!!!! :stupid:
I dread to think back at those days when I will be forced to take urgent leave for numerous times when dd was young and fell sick more often. Or when the maid got \"wayang\" going on, or when any last min issue cropped up. if ask hubby to take leave, he will say something like \"my boss does not like it when I take urgent leave!!\" so the wife's boss WILL LIKE when she takes urgent leave lah :x
One of my ex-boss who is super MCP will make cynical remraks like \"Why do you need to run errand during lunch hours????\", \"Why do you need to call home when going for business trip??\" :stupid:
Sorry for the grievances....
Guess ultimately whether SAHM or FTWM or PTWM, we ladies still provide the crucial support to our kids....and we should be proud of that !!!!!
Kudos to all of us !!!! :celebrate: -
Question is how to communicate effectively to hubby to show more commitment? Somehow the message just doesn't sink in
Recently, at breakfast table, I asked my kids to give a score for daddy and mummy. Hubby received a mere borderline pass. Reason the kids gave - daddy spent too much time playing golf.
I hope this serves as a wake up call for hubby. Shall see
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Funz:
Precisely :rant:
DD scored below average in her test, he ask me what happened. DS made some mistakes in his tingxie, he ask me why never revise with him issit. Kids fall sick he ask me when am I bringing them to see the doctor. DD in afternoon session, he ask me what's she doing the whole morning. I set some work for her to do in the morning and will go through with her in the evenings, he tell me not to stress her. Ran out of fresh milk, he ask my why never replenish. Haiyoh the list goes on. -
Tks for all of your replies. Before this, i never think i fail as a mum if my kids don’t do well in school, maybe presently my kids sch work are okay. Now, it makes me rethink…if one day i have this problem…
Im just like most of you, i do not have a maid, have to be a superwoman, wearing many hats in the house. So far is juggling fine. Im lucky my dh has never make bad comments about how i handle the kids, housework or any other duties that fall under me. He seemed to understand its not easy being a sahm. I always discuss with him how to tackle problems as well as share my days with him. -
Hi, will be SAHM soon. just wonder whats your daily schedule like eg. what to cook for kids and family. what you teach your kids in the afternoon. Please share
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Hi everyone, I was reading a number of your posts and kind of got 'addicted'. I really wonder why ksp is so good it is addictive, I find myself going to it at 3 plus in the morning :scared:
But anyway, I am a SAHM..I am really happy DH wanted me to do so also, as I think I will make a lousy mum if I work, will be stressed up and end up shouting more..but being a SAHM also very challenging..I agree with what some of you have been saying, you feel that your child's failure becomes your fault cos stay at home, still cannot do well, only recently..I learn to 'kan kai' more.
Any thoughts on how to manage better and also have a 'life' more so that we dont get too wrapped up in our kids and get a bit 'irrelevant'? Any mum face this? -
Hi - I'm a SAHM who just enjoys spending time with the kiddos...besides cooking, cleaning, kiddo logistics
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