All About Full-Time Maids

[jedamum]

clarabella:

insider:

I will be dismay if in future:

1) my daughter chooses to be a SAHM and/or

2) my daughter-in-law chooses to be a SAHM.

Hehehehehe. insider, you sound like my MIL!

clarabella,
if i voiced out my thoughts of going back to work, i'll get these response,
MIL (who is not working) : what about the kids?
DH : my salary not enough to 'feed' you meh? or you want to buy prada bag etc etc (naming several branded stuff) :roll:

insider,
having walked that path, for my DIL, i will let them decide what they think is the best solution in childcare and try to support their decision in anyway that I can (also depends on how they treat me la! )

[buds]

jedamum:

clarabella,

if i voiced out my thoughts of going back to work, i'll get these response,
MIL (who is not working) : what about the kids?
DH : my salary not enough to 'feed' you meh? or you want to buy prada bag etc etc (naming several branded stuff) :roll:

Wuaaah! Same script leh.
Go Mediacorp audition easily get part.

jedamum:

insider,
having walked that path, for my DIL, i will let them decide what they think is the best solution in childcare and try to support their decision in anyway that I can (also depends on how they treat me la! )

Yup! Me three, jedamum!
The future awaits...
Wonder if by that time
winth wud've started a
thread on DIL's oredi...
:evil:

[buds]

clarabella:

Hehehehehe. insider, you sound like my MIL! She thinks I am a complete burden on my husband, which is total rot because I don't take any money from him and I manage to contribute to household expenses too. Whatever I spend on myself are from my savings (fairly decent, phew), from my working days. And SAHMs can certainly contribute to society too; my plan for this year and next is to do some pro bono legal aid work. I'm definitely putting my hard-earned knowledge to good use!

Yup, doesn't always mean we stay home hubby support 100%.
Yup, there are jobs that can be done from home...

:celebrate:

clarabella:

Yeah, it seems that it's really not cheap being sick in Singapore. Everything here from life to death is fairly expensive!.

Wohoo! Life to death!
What a mighty nutshell there, girl!
Not much to add from there where
high cost of living is involved... :roll:

clarabella:

I have two boys and a girl. I really don't forsee myself being aghast should my future DILs decide to be SAHMs. And for that matter, my daughter too. I wouldn't judge them for any decision they make for the good of their families, be it helping to bring home the bacon or taking care of their kids personally if they don't want to out-source the 'job'. I would, however, recoil a bit if they tell me that the reason they work is to buy branded bags :roll: like in Tamarind's example... I hope my kids will never have to slog for a living. I guess that's the hope of many kiasu parents out there.

Yup, i'll try not to judge too... who knows by then what the future
holds for them all, our kiddies generation. Yes, all of us hope the
same i suppose... let's hope life is better for them, what with our
kiasu-ism in place already when they're young.. heheheee..

Clarabella...

Husband give, just take.
His money is our money.
Our money is our money.

*Even if we never use his
money, can be set aside
for extra to the nest...

[buds]

clarabella:

buds:

And you'd be surprised too that you become a super

efficient multi-tasker once you decide to start work again.. The years
of practise will pay off. Hehee.. You'll be one of those working mums
who work and manage household concurrently without much fuss...
And people around will go... :shock:
How'd you manage all that?

buds, I think by the time I go back to work, my household would be running itself. Given my low standards that should not be too difficult hahahaha.

Ya! Auto-run!

:celebrate:

[buds]

insider:

My dad was hospitalized for 32 days in SGH (Class B2). Medical bill is about $20,000.


He passed away last Friday. Funeral expenses total about $25,000.00.

If my mum were to incur something similar, total expenses for their final days will be close to $100,000.00.

If a family only has a child marrying an only child from another family and the wife prefers to be a SAHM, the total final days’ expenses for both sets of parents will be close to $200,000.00…

These are just expenses for their final days and such has not included the many years of medical expenses that some parents may incur before their final days.

PS: My dad’s funeral is nothing extravagant. Traditional one but my mum chose nice ash urns for herself and my dad (a pair). Basically, in Singapore, expensive to be sick and also not cheap to die. So die die also must have some money if want to be sick and die in a decent manner...

My personal deepest condolences..
Thanks for sharing your experience.
It's enlightening..

You are right, die die oso must have
some money.. and yes medical insurance
will be a lifesaver if the need arises. Tks
for the reminder.

[winth]

To stay-at-home-mums out there,


There are a few words of advice which I would like to give from my personal experience, esp from what I see:
1) Do take time to upkeep yourself (physically and psychologically)
2) Do make sure you are also financially independent (have your own savings)
3) Do make sure you are keeping yourself informed of society outside (just in case you need to find a job)

I do quite agree from insider’s point of view and what she is trying to relay. I too want to remain financially independent and physically pleasing to my husband. Women age alot after they go into their 30s, and when we hit our 50s, lots of biological and psychological changes that we might not even know of. It happened to my MIL, so I know.

My MIL is a SAHM, she used to have no regrets slogging away in the house while her hub works. She works at home, sewing clothes and washing salon towels and as a nanny. And being a traditional woman, she believes that as long as she keeps the family well-maintained, everything will fall in place when she reaches old-age. Husband will come back to her and her children will also be fillial. She does not maintain herself, so she’s always dressed quite poorly. And well, her face is kinda ‘yellow’. And her hair… She speaks no English, doesn’t drive, knows no computer and has never upgraded herself in anyway. She’s just the type who lives in the 50s.

30 years fast forward, she regrets her every decision. Now with no youth, figure or social skills. Her husband does not dare to bring out her for social meetings, even if she goes anywhere formal with him, his specific instruction to her is:"Don’t talk." She comes telling her children that her husband feels that it’s a shame to bring her out. And well, bec of her very poor communication skills, she have problems communicating with her children too. When I say poor communication skills, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t know how to speak Mandarin/her dialects. It means that she will offend the person that she’s talking to, without even realising it. It sounds like nagging and complaining when she sits down with her children, so everyone used to siam her.

Now, I think the recent 2-3 years, she starting upkeeping herself. Having DIY facials, going for salons for weekly hairwash/styling. Doing the eyebrow tattooing thing, and she goes for English lessons and has attended some basic theory for driving. But well, you can say that all these happened abit too late.

I believe SAHMS these days are all PC-literate and can speak very good English. But we never know what is going to happen 30 years from now, just like my MIL wouldn’t realise it 30 years back that PC, English, self-upkeeping was so important. And don’t forget to always upgrade yourself to make sure you do not lose out to the unknown future.

[buds]

Good one here, winth!


:celebrate:

[winth]

Thanks buds!


Not only working in society, must upgrade to make self useful. Now even being a woman also must upgrade.

[KS_me]

buds:

Heyya KS_me,


Thanks for sharing the video. And no... pls dun slash or harbour such thoughts, or you'd be in for it with her... I agree with you, it IS horrific and very very sad to watch the ordeal. I feel for the child and the parents. Poor children to be under such care..

Hope the maid gets black listed after her sentence... It's horrifying
to imagine if she may come back and work for one of us! The face not so clear. God help us.... it's a child she was torturing, and for just trying to answer nature's call...

Btw, KS_me... your smiley very cute. Boxing seems an apt timing while sharing the maid link. Makes me feel like working out the punches... so fuming to watch.

Hi Buds,
Am back to the forum today and see this thread went so hot! I know alot of working mum out there like me worrying everyday for the little ones at home, that's why I posted immediately after my friend yahoo me this link to create awareness.

Am \"No guts\" to watch once more as my whole hearts goes to the poor girl being given a flying kicks (she can't do much except crying) ... even when the maid stepping on her back... she can only

ARGH!!! IF only I can do magic pull out that girl from that video clip and give the maid a super left , right, upm down tight slap!!!!

I felt the pain directly pounded to my heart and tears for the little girl while watching...

I'm one of those who installed cam at home and view it live while I'm working.. just like what I'm doing now.. with many windows open on my desktop to monitor.
I always call back immediately when I see my maid is doing something funny and also keeping good contact with my direct neigbour just in case...

[hairuliza]

KS_me:

My friend just email this link to me


http://multimedia.asiaone.com/Multimedia/Vodcast/Multimedia/Story/A1Multimedia20090402-6319.html

To my horror to watch this clips!!! I feel like taking the \"parang\" and slash the maid into pieces!!! :x :x :x :x

Oh my God!
Such a heartless animal.
I hope she's prosecuted.. I hate her!