All About Full-Time Maids

[hairuliza]

I think we can only monitor so much.

I don’t trust my maid still… and think she’s more of a liability.
She’s been caught going through my things, not cleaning my boy’s bottles properly (didn’t use the brush to scrup the teats), wiping my bedroom floor with cloth used for wiping the toilet, not looking after my boy (my boy almost swallowed a metal piece that came loose from his tambourine when she was sitting by his side in the playpen while we ate dinner, because she was engrossed watching TV), to name a few… sigh.
Bad experiences with the previous 2 also.
I know that not all maids are bad, but I think the added stress to getting the right one is just not worth it.
Weekly cleaners seem a better deal.

[vfong1]

smurf:

was wondering, even if install spycam, does it helps? what if the maid knows about it and purposely do something to the child in bathroom or what? unless the parents install the spycam in toilet?? :?

I think don't reply the maids to take care of the kids at home while working. What do you think?

[ChiefKiasu]

vfong1:

smurf:

was wondering, even if install spycam, does it helps? what if the maid knows about it and purposely do something to the child in bathroom or what? unless the parents install the spycam in toilet?? :?

I think don't reply the maids to take care of the kids at home while working. What do you think?

You have to be careful about installing recording devices in the bathroom. The maid may make a case against you regarding invasion of privacy. My advise is not to do it, but maybe install one outside the bathroom and insist that the door be opened all the time when the child is inside.

[vfong1]

hairuliza:

I think we can only monitor so much.

I don't trust my maid still... and think she's more of a liability.
She's been caught going through my things, not cleaning my boy's bottles properly (didn't use the brush to scrup the teats), wiping my bedroom floor with cloth used for wiping the toilet, not looking after my boy (my boy almost swallowed a metal piece that came loose from his tambourine when she was sitting by his side in the playpen while we ate dinner, because she was engrossed watching TV), to name a few... sigh.
Bad experiences with the previous 2 also.
I know that not all maids are bad, but I think the added stress to getting the right one is just not worth it.
Weekly cleaners seem a better deal.

I agree.

[smurf]

not bathroom, in storeroom?? somewhere where she knows that no spycam?


still dun feel safe wth a maid lor. I mean if she wanna do something to the child, she will find a place that she knows dun have anyone watching her wat.

[hairuliza]

Talk about weekly cleaners vs. full-time, live-in maids, anyone have recommendations to good English-speaking weekly cleaners?

[sunflower]

Just to update the case of the maid abusing the child on Stomp. The Straits Times reported today in the Home section pg B4 that it happened in KL in August 2007. The maid had since been charged and sentenced to 24 months' jail.


My DD2 is of abt the same age as the little girl and my heart pained to see her being abused.

Used to have a maid when I was working full time with my first child but still put her in childcare as I didn't trust maids to be alone with child. Decided to stay home upon having the 2nd one. I'm not the very hardworking kind of mum but I do see differences in the development of my 2 children.

The younger one seems to be more advanced in her development. Ironically, I practically left my DD2 to her own devices most of the time and probably did a few flashcards sessions or learning activities when I remembered or when I have time, which is not many and far in between. (All you SAHM must be shaking your heads and pointing your fingers at me now, saying tsk, tsk, tsk).

As for DD1 and being my first child, I diligently did flashcard sessions and read to her everyday as I had a maid then to take care of all the household chores. Sometimes, I do wonder whether being physically home with child is more important than the actually teaching... :?

Having double degrees and a Masters made me feel sometimes that I should work instead of \"idling\" at home. My FIL did express that it was a waste to quit after having climbed up the corporate ladder, esp when I earned more than hubby.

Well, I'm doing freelance work but income is never enough and time seems to be tight esp nearing deadlines, so much so that my children are sometimes neglected. This really made me feel guilty as my top priority should be my children, as that was the reason for quitting full time work...yet, I'm spending more time than I should by doing so many other things around the house, work and ME time!! :roll:

I think I should seriously consider going back to full time work, but I think it's hard to find work after 40.. ..and there's also the issue of who's going to take care of children (don't think I want maid anymore)...

[tamarind]

Good maids do exist.


I have a very good maid now, she is Indonesian. She is honest, reliable, humble, soft-spoken, and she absolutely adores my kids. My kids are very fond of her. She is also very respectful towards my parents. She keeps the house very clean, and she cooks reasonably well. I sent back 7 maids before I found her. So good maids are really very difficult to find.

Even though she is very good, I still will not trust her to be alone with my kids. I still want my mother to stay with me to look after the kids. If my mother has to go out, I will take leave to stay at home.

My hubby has a few web cams, and he can easily install them. But I never used them. Personally I think that these are useless. By the time we find out that something bad has happened, the damage is already done.

Mommies should try their best to prevent bad things from happening to their kids. Mommies who leave their kids alone with maids, are actually putting the kids in a dangerous situation, waiting for tragedies to happen. Read the horror stories in my blog http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/.

Even if the maid never harms the child, how can a maid take over the role of the mommy ? I think it is very wrong of people to say things like \"you are wasting your education staying home to look after your kids\". Children who are raised by such mommies at home, are the luckiest children in the world. Because their mommies are capable of finding the best possible ways to teach their kids, like what Sunflower is doing

My hubby once told me, that he wished that I were his mommy He said that his mommy left him at home with the servant since he was born. Even when she came home, she did not pay attention to him at all. Well I am also a full time working mom, but I try to spend as much time as possible to teach the kids. I don't want them to grow up and say the same thing as what my hubby said : \"I was raised by servants.\"

[sunflower]

tamarind:

Children who are raised by such mommies at home, are the luckiest children in the world. Because their mommies are capable of finding the best possible ways to teach their kids, like what Sunflower is doing

Thanks for your encouraging words. Frankly, I didn't \"teach\" my DD2 like what I did to DD1 but DD2 seems to strive in this free play environment. Something I did was I talk to her A LOT (and this is where my DD1 missed out) and I think she learnt thru daily observations and daily activities such as during meal times, bathing times etc...

DD2 loves to go round the house digging for stuff such as empty toilet rolls and tissue boxes (which I put aside for recycling). She'll also take scissors, glue, tape, stickers or whatever she needs from the stationary box and start creating things like binoculars, musical instruments such as guitar etc. Once, she made a washing sink from protective foams taken out of the box of a newly bought computer, and she started role playing all by herself. :shock: Ha, ha, maybe in homeschool term, this is called Unschooling.

Sensing that DD2 might be a bright child, I always feel that I should spend more time teaching her systematically. However, being maidless and having loads of things to do makes me feel that time is always not on my side...

tamarind is really inspiring and reading her posts on teaching her children always reminds me that I should be more hardworking and consistent (not my nature) in teaching my children...

[smurf]

I do agree with sunflower that with no maid, very limited time to teach kids also. without maid, a mum staying at home is like working, except that, she is doing housework instead of working in office. :lol: