All About Full-Time Maids
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Just to update the case of the maid abusing the child on Stomp. The Straits Times reported today in the Home section pg B4 that it happened in KL in August 2007. The maid had since been charged and sentenced to 24 months' jail.
My DD2 is of abt the same age as the little girl and my heart pained to see her being abused.
Used to have a maid when I was working full time with my first child but still put her in childcare as I didn't trust maids to be alone with child. Decided to stay home upon having the 2nd one. I'm not the very hardworking kind of mum but I do see differences in the development of my 2 children.
The younger one seems to be more advanced in her development. Ironically, I practically left my DD2 to her own devices most of the time and probably did a few flashcards sessions or learning activities when I remembered or when I have time, which is not many and far in between. (All you SAHM must be shaking your heads and pointing your fingers at me now, saying tsk, tsk, tsk).
As for DD1 and being my first child, I diligently did flashcard sessions and read to her everyday as I had a maid then to take care of all the household chores. Sometimes, I do wonder whether being physically home with child is more important than the actually teaching... :?
Having double degrees and a Masters made me feel sometimes that I should work instead of \"idling\" at home. My FIL did express that it was a waste to quit after having climbed up the corporate ladder, esp when I earned more than hubby.
Well, I'm doing freelance work but income is never enough and time seems to be tight esp nearing deadlines, so much so that my children are sometimes neglected. This really made me feel guilty as my top priority should be my children, as that was the reason for quitting full time work...yet, I'm spending more time than I should by doing so many other things around the house, work and ME time!! :roll:
I think I should seriously consider going back to full time work, but I think it's hard to find work after 40..
..and there's also the issue of who's going to take care of children (don't think I want maid anymore)... -
Good maids do exist.
I have a very good maid now, she is Indonesian. She is honest, reliable, humble, soft-spoken, and she absolutely adores my kids. My kids are very fond of her. She is also very respectful towards my parents. She keeps the house very clean, and she cooks reasonably well. I sent back 7 maids before I found her. So good maids are really very difficult to find.
Even though she is very good, I still will not trust her to be alone with my kids. I still want my mother to stay with me to look after the kids. If my mother has to go out, I will take leave to stay at home.
My hubby has a few web cams, and he can easily install them. But I never used them. Personally I think that these are useless. By the time we find out that something bad has happened, the damage is already done.
Mommies should try their best to prevent bad things from happening to their kids. Mommies who leave their kids alone with maids, are actually putting the kids in a dangerous situation, waiting for tragedies to happen. Read the horror stories in my blog http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/.
Even if the maid never harms the child, how can a maid take over the role of the mommy ? I think it is very wrong of people to say things like \"you are wasting your education staying home to look after your kids\". Children who are raised by such mommies at home, are the luckiest children in the world. Because their mommies are capable of finding the best possible ways to teach their kids, like what Sunflower is doing
My hubby once told me, that he wished that I were his mommy
He said that his mommy left him at home with the servant since he was born. Even when she came home, she did not pay attention to him at all. Well I am also a full time working mom, but I try to spend as much time as possible to teach the kids. I don't want them to grow up and say the same thing as what my hubby said : \"I was raised by servants.\" -
tamarind:
Thanks for your encouraging words. Frankly, I didn't \"teach\" my DD2 like what I did to DD1 but DD2 seems to strive in this free play environment. Something I did was I talk to her A LOT (and this is where my DD1 missed out) and I think she learnt thru daily observations and daily activities such as during meal times, bathing times etc...
Children who are raised by such mommies at home, are the luckiest children in the world. Because their mommies are capable of finding the best possible ways to teach their kids, like what Sunflower is doing
DD2 loves to go round the house digging for stuff such as empty toilet rolls and tissue boxes (which I put aside for recycling). She'll also take scissors, glue, tape, stickers or whatever she needs from the stationary box and start creating things like binoculars, musical instruments such as guitar etc. Once, she made a washing sink from protective foams taken out of the box of a newly bought computer, and she started role playing all by herself. :shock: Ha, ha, maybe in homeschool term, this is called Unschooling.
Sensing that DD2 might be a bright child, I always feel that I should spend more time teaching her systematically. However, being maidless and having loads of things to do makes me feel that time is always not on my side...
tamarind is really inspiring and reading her posts on teaching her children always reminds me that I should be more hardworking and consistent (not my nature) in teaching my children... -
I do agree with sunflower that with no maid, very limited time to teach kids also. without maid, a mum staying at home is like working, except that, she is doing housework instead of working in office. :lol:
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smurf:
without maid, a mum staying at home is like working, except that, she is doing housework instead of working in office. :lol:
Totally agree!!
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sunflower:
Teaching does not only mean A,B,Cs and 1,2,3,s. A child benefits just simply having her educated mommy around. She learns to speak good English. An educated mommy is likely to spend her free time reading, writing or using the computer. Her child will copy all her good habits
Thanks for your encouraging words. Frankly, I didn't \"teach\" my DD2 like what I did to DD1 but DD2 seems to strive in this free play environment. Something I did was I talk to her A LOT (and this is where my DD1 missed out) and I think she learnt thru daily observations and daily activities such as during meal times, bathing times etc...tamarind:
Children who are raised by such mommies at home, are the luckiest children in the world. Because their mommies are capable of finding the best possible ways to teach their kids, like what Sunflower is doing
What can kids learn from maids ? Maids will probably sms or chat on their phone all day. Or they will just turn on the TV all the day. I have heard of kids who learn to speak English with a filipino accent from their filipino maid ! Their horrified parents have to send them for speech therapy. No offense to filipinos, but we are Singaporeans and we do not appreciate our kids speaking any other accent, right ? Of course British accent is the best lah.
My Indonesian maid is very good. She has been working in Singapore for more than 8 years, so she speaks English with a Singaporean accent. She is a very hardworking maid, does not chat on the phone at all, she is always wiping and cleaning all day long. Guess what my kids learn from her ? They find it fun to wipe and clean ! Fortunately they got bored of it very quickly.
I just read the front page news on the New Paper today, about a maid who slept with lover at home, when the kids were around. The girl then mimicked the acts of the maid and her boyfriend :shock: -
New updates !
I received an email from an employer whose maid tried to seduce the tenant ! Check out the story here.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/2009/04/nuryati-indonesian.html -
tamarind:
Indeed very shocking news. Thanks for sharing.New updates !
I received an email from an employer whose maid tried to seduce the tenant ! Check out the story here.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/2009/04/nuryati-indonesian.html -
Argh! :x
My maid for 1year starting to create problem for me…
Before we get her, told her no handphone will be allowed and she agreed.
Now, almost every other day she’ll complaint to my elder son 7yo that she’s not happy because all she can’t have handphone!!
I talked to her (not scolding). I said that is what we agreed upon and how can you now request to own a handphone? I let her called home say once a month because she missed her child but like what other says she doesn’t appreciate but want More!
I hate to deal with ppl that don’t keep their promised. I guess I have to be in a lookout again for maids…
I am one of the lucky one who got my previous maid worked for me for 7 years! With the new maid just 1 year, perform not better than my previous but request for things…
Can I check if anyone of you hire ex-hkg maid before? Any problem so far?
Appreciate your feedback. -
KS_me:
Your ex maid of 7 years believe was from philippine and were new when you took her right.Argh! :x
I am one of the lucky one who got my previous maid worked for me for 7 years! With the new maid just 1 year, perform not better than my previous but request for things...
Can I check if anyone of you hire ex-hkg maid before? Any problem so far?
Appreciate your feedback.
This current one must be very experience. If she is not happy and you are not happy… if there is no solution… I really suggest that you let her go and find her 'greener pasture'. No point keeping her and yet cannot keep her heart.
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