All About Full-Time Maids
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cher_06:
Hi Cher,Just to ask your opinions because my husband and I had a slight argument regarding how my family treat our maids. Firstly, we have maids over 20 years and we never have problem. In fact my 2nd maid worked for my family for 10 years.
We got a maid a year ago and now she wants to go home. My husband tell me that he dont agree with how we treat our maid when it comes to food.
My maid when she goes out with us, she eats on the same table as us. My mom or myself if we are alone, we will ask her to join us at the table to eat. In fact, sometimes my mom cooks for her to eat, otherwise she is always very lazy and dont want to cook. So my mom cooks and they will eat together. In family outings, it is the same thing, she will eat together and sometimes in hawker centers, my mom will pass her $10 and ask her to buy whatever she wants to eat.
However, when it is at home, my husband becomes very unhappy. He feels that we never give my maid a good and HOT meal. Whenever all of us are at home to eat or at my grandma house, my maid is the last to eat dinner as sometimes she is expected to serve us. She will eat whatever we have left, and my mom always portion but we do not portion the food right from the start. And sometimes, my husband feel that we do not leave anything for her, when in fact, there is a whole pot of soup with chicken and vegetables inside. Many times, she also cannot finish. We also tell her that if whatever is not enough, please go cook something from the fridge. He says that we should let her eat at the same time with us, and she should eat a hot meal. I told him that she can always heat up the food in the microwave if she feel the food is not \"hot\" enough.
What do you all think? We have never restricted her with what she wants to eat or cook if she is alone. In fact, I am so angry because I buy so much food and she does not even want to cook! She rather eat bread or maggie noodles.
What do you all feel about her eating what is being left. In fact, my mom sometimes feel that if it is not presentable, she always put the meat and vegetables on 1 plate nicely. Sometimes my dad eat my maid's leftovers if he works late. I dont think we are unreasonable right?
This question is very personal. When we go out, maid eats with us at the same table - we'll usually ask her to get her own food. In fact, even when my kids were babies, the maid is the only one to eat undisturbed...me or DH are the ones to mind our kids and feed our kids.
At home, maid eats with us after some washing is done. Becos the sink has limited space, after cooking, she is expected to clean up the kitchen a bit and wash the cooking utensils. I think that's fair becos after dinner, to see a dirty kitchen is quite daunting. Once she's done with that, she's free to sit down and eat with us.
But becos she's muslim and we aren't, in case our spoons come into contact with pork and then into non-pork dishes, we'll usually scoop a portion of food onto her plate FIRST...so it looks a bit like economy rice. Ostracize? I don't agree. In fact many a times, she gets to eat fish that my parents portion out, and my parents only get to chew on the bones....I feel bad but my parents insist it's ok for them.
My maid also can be quite bad in cooking for herself. For me, if she's lazy and don't want to cook, I'm not going to ask my mum to be HER maid and take care of her. I give her food, if she don't want to eat, I take it she is exercising her own perogative - but as long as she is not harming herself. Any medical bills i have to bear, so I need to ensure at least some minimum amount go into her stomach. -
Dear all,
Thanks for your replies.
Maybe I should clarify. During dinner, we will start eating, and my mom will tell us to leave a portion for the maid, and she will portion that area for her. Once we are done, she eats at the same dining table we all eat, and so she can clear up, instead of having to clean up 2 different areas.
My maid is daym lazy to cook. I do not have kids at home, so she rather cook maggie mee or bread. It is only if I come home, I will ask her to cook dinner and I always ask her to join me at the table if I am alone. We used to ask her to join me and my husband until we realise she is climbing all over my head. And my mom is always nice enough to cook for her if she is around as she knows my maid is very lazy to cook. So my mom cooks and both of them eat together. This year, my family had reunion dinner in a nice restaurant with all my relatives, and we brought her along and she ate on the same table with all of us.
I think we all give and take. Yes, i think my mom feels that she shouldnt portion out before all of us eat. Moreover, sometimes my maid eats and my dad come home late and he eat whatever she left for him. There are times its really all bones left from the fish, but my dad dont mind.
Yesterday, my husband came home late and my aunty cooked dinner. He was the last one to eat after the maid, and he couldnt even finish all the food. So i asked him if it is very "wei xu" to eat left overs. In fact, my maid even heat up the food in the microwave for him. I just want him to know that we are not unreasonable, and this is our family practice and we do it towards our own family members too. I feel that our maids should work around our customs.
Well, as for my maid going home… My niece has moved in with me, and I guess she no longer has the chance to take naps in the afternoon as my niece is only seven years old. So she tells me she want to change employer coz looking after my niece is very stressful, plus it is technically not my child. I find it ridiculous.
My maid used to have a very good life for 1 year and now her honeymoon is over, she cannot adjust. Really very disappointed with her because we even told her if she finishes her contract, and best would be extending to another 2 years, we will give her the money that she pay to agent as a bonus. She totally dont even wnat that money. she tell me she is very stress.
I live in a 950sqft apartment with 1 dog. Its only me, my husband, dog and my niece. Weekend she will company my niece to my mom place. Dinner time is cooked by my aunt, she only has to wash. Do you all think her work is very stressful? -
Hi cher_06,
My maid also has very little to do but finds it stressful. It sounds like your maid has made up her mind to go, whatever her reason. So anything you say or do isn’t going to change it. You can try to persuade her to complete the two years, but be prepared for shoddy work. Or you can just let her go, but you set the date. -
cher_06:
hi cher_06,My maid used to have a very good life for 1 year and now her honeymoon is over, she cannot adjust. Really very disappointed with her because we even told her if she finishes her contract, and best would be extending to another 2 years, we will give her the money that she pay to agent as a bonus. She totally dont even wnat that money. she tell me she is very stress.
I live in a 950sqft apartment with 1 dog. Its only me, my husband, dog and my niece. Weekend she will company my niece to my mom place. Dinner time is cooked by my aunt, she only has to wash. Do you all think her work is very stressful?
Methinks if someone has her heart set on going, you should not keep her; afterall this is a free country. I do feel that she has had too easy a life and find it hard to adjust to real work. And if she's not here to work, honestly, I don't see why you should continue to feed her (as in employ her). She doesn't have to cook, look after old folks, look after kids.
Sorry, I cannot understand such mindset. I don't understand why they prefer to change employers/go home on a whim and pay all that money to the middlemen and agencies. I only understand such as like my ex-maid, come to SG to earn money - after 5 years and 5 figure savings later, go home and stay there for good with her OWN land, her OWN house. -
hquek:
My sentiment exactly. My maid of 1 month would rather pay S$3k to the middlemen and go back after 1 month here...and her family has the means to do so, when there is so little work to do at my home....
Methinks if someone has her heart set on going, you should not keep her; afterall this is a free country. I do feel that she has had too easy a life and find it hard to adjust to real work. And if she's not here to work, honestly, I don't see why you should continue to feed her (as in employ her). She doesn't have to cook, look after old folks, look after kids.
Sorry, I cannot understand such mindset. I don't understand why they prefer to change employers/go home on a whim and pay all that money to the middlemen and agencies. I only understand such as like my ex-maid, come to SG to earn money - after 5 years and 5 figure savings later, go home and stay there for good with her OWN land, her OWN house.
Finds it rather baffling...maybe it's the new generation of helpers nowadays....just like our generation X, or Y or whatever younger people in our workforce nowadays also. Maybe it's the big culture and mindset that is changing...
Is decent hardwork a virtue of yesterday already???? Or I belong to the old school of thought already :? -
:x :x :x
This is my 3rd maid within a spread of 4 months. My first two maids were equally problematic, hence the send back.
After working with me for 1 mth and 2 weeks, she told me yesterday to send her back to the agent. She told me this early in the morning when I was getting ready to work. Can you imagine my anger, my disappointment??? :x When asked her why, she said 'tak de apa2' (nothing) repeatedly. When we were at the agency and they asked her why, she gave excuse that my 3year old son doesn't want her. I felt that excuse was so lame. So I told my agent to find out more from her, after we left.
True enough, she claimed that she has to worked in 2 homes :stupid: . I put her at my MIL's place in the morning as she is a freshie and there's no one to guide her at home and also I have no confidence with her being alone with my son. She is supposed to learn cooking and general house cleaning. My MIL taught her how to cook dishes, how to use the mop, wash the toilet, fold and iron clothes (which all these she doesn't know how to do). By the time she reach my place at 8.30pm (we go back after dinner), I do not insist that she complete the housework. Yet at times, I saw her sleeping late because she read the Quran. She even woke up at 2am to do prayers. She's giving so much excuses and claim that she's 'tired because she work in 2 homes'. That's so ridiculous!!!
What I don't understand is why are maids nowadays so choosy. Are they here to choose the employer, come here for holiday, dun want heavy-duty job, want luxury life? Is that what they want? While we employers are being reasonable and understanding, they step on our heads!!! Why isn't our govt protecting us, the employers??? These maids are causing us all the problems, yet we have to bear everything for them!!! I'm just so fed up with the maids. I am trying to convince hubby NOT TO HAVE MAIDS AGAIN!!! But hubby feels that we need one as our children will start schooling next year. We just have no luck with them around. :x :x :x
I just dun understand why these maids have such attitude problem. I have bought for her a nice baju kurung from JB last week. My MIL bought for her a comfortable pair of shoes and 3 pairs of pants for home wear. She's sooooo ungrateful!!! -
hi cher_06,
Methinks if someone has her heart set on going, you should not keep her; afterall this is a free country. I do feel that she has had too easy a life and find it hard to adjust to real work. And if she’s not here to work, honestly, I don’t see why you should continue to feed her (as in employ her). She doesn’t have to cook, look after old folks, look after kids.
Sorry, I cannot understand such mindset. I don’t understand why they prefer to change employers/go home on a whim and pay all that money to the middlemen and agencies. I only understand such as like my ex-maid, come to SG to earn money - after 5 years and 5 figure savings later, go home and stay there for good with her OWN land, her OWN house.[/quote]
Yes, I am going to send her home. And I am not interested to keep her anyway. huge disappointment because we never had this problem with maids and previously I took her in because i pitied her and feel maybe she can look after my dog. My mom has told her that if she continues with such mindset, she will never have enough money and the vicious cycle will continue.
Now I am thinking if I should inform her beforehand that I am sending her back once i get my new maid. I am definitely not allowing her to transfer as I feel she is doing a disservice to whoever that employs her. -
pinkycheeks:
i totally agree with what you say. my maid also wanting to go bk after working for me for a wk, after agt tok to her, she cont'd to work but 3 wks later, which is last wk, she insists she wants to go bk agt... then we ask the agt to tell her she can't just leave like tat, got to wait for us to hv new maid cming in then she can go bk agt, so she kuai kuai work while meanwhile we sourcing for new maid....:x :x :x
This is my 3rd maid within a spread of 4 months. My first two maids were equally problematic, hence the send back.
After working with me for 1 mth and 2 weeks, she told me yesterday to send her back to the agent. She told me this early in the morning when I was getting ready to work. Can you imagine my anger, my disappointment??? :x When asked her why, she said 'tak de apa2' (nothing) repeatedly. When we were at the agency and they asked her why, she gave excuse that my 3year old son doesn't want her. I felt that excuse was so lame. So I told my agent to find out more from her, after we left.
True enough, she claimed that she has to worked in 2 homes :stupid: . I put her at my MIL's place in the morning as she is a freshie and there's no one to guide her at home and also I have no confidence with her being alone with my son. She is supposed to learn cooking and general house cleaning. My MIL taught her how to cook dishes, how to use the mop, wash the toilet, fold and iron clothes (which all these she doesn't know how to do). By the time she reach my place at 8.30pm (we go back after dinner), I do not insist that she complete the housework. Yet at times, I saw her sleeping late because she read the Quran. She even woke up at 2am to do prayers. She's giving so much excuses and claim that she's 'tired because she work in 2 homes'. That's so ridiculous!!!
What I don't understand is why are maids nowadays so choosy. Are they here to choose the employer, come here for holiday, dun want heavy-duty job, want luxury life? Is that what they want? While we employers are being reasonable and understanding, they step on our heads!!! Why isn't our govt protecting us, the employers??? These maids are causing us all the problems, yet we have to bear everything for them!!! I'm just so fed up with the maids. I am trying to convince hubby NOT TO HAVE MAIDS AGAIN!!! But hubby feels that we need one as our children will start schooling next year. We just have no luck with them around. :x :x :x
I just dun understand why these maids have such attitude problem. I have bought for her a nice baju kurung from JB last week. My MIL bought for her a comfortable pair of shoes and 3 pairs of pants for home wear. She's sooooo ungrateful!!!
Have few Indon maid so far, so nw we thot switching to Myanmar maid and give it a try... looks like Indon maids are troublemakers to us. We do heard frm agts say nowadays these Indon maids prefer to go to taiwan or Hk to work... may i knw ur maid is frm which country? -
Hi Taurus
Looks like we are in the same boat. My maid is from Sragen, Jawa Tengah. -
pinkycheeks:
ya lorHi Taurus
Looks like we are in the same boat. My maid is from Sragen, Jawa Tengah.
so now u waiting to get new maid? u got any feedback frm pple who use Myanmar maid? my agt told me for time being dun get Filipino cos recently there are some changes in their country so may hv difficulty cming in...
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