Throwing Tantrum

[Addoil]

MLR:

.


My 2.5 yo boy has recently taken to saying \"I don't want you\" whenever he is upset or don't get what he wants from us.

Sure is very upset when you heard this come out from his mouth, me facing the same situation also Now is trying to brain wash him.

smurf,
you can try to talk with him during the bed time, sleep beside him and let him know what you think and let him know how you feel, then try to ask him is it the correct way to do it... I think this is the best timing for mummy to show her love to the children. jia you!!

[smurf]

Hi san76 and Addoil,


starting to talk to him after he calmed down. hopefully, he will listen.

[san76]

smurf:

Hi san76 and Addoil,


starting to talk to him after he calmed down. hopefully, he will listen.

Dearest Smurf,

No worries, he will listen. Dont forget treats!!!!! He is still a small kid after all. Treats can be anything he likes or you can read him a story, perhaps go to the seaside- Changi Point- Sit there with some tidbits and enjoy the aeroplanes fly pass his head!!! My son really ejoys it and pretend shooting at it. HAHAHA!!!!!

You must control control yourself ok. It takes time and patience!!

I wish you success. :celebrate:

[smurf]

thanks san76! but hor, when he throw tantrum, no matter what, even if promise to give him treat, he also won’t listen 1. it’s like, when someone is angry, he cannot hear anything! and then when he can listen, he tends to forget it the next time he throw tantrum again.hahah.

[san76]

smurf:

thanks san76! but hor, when he throw tantrum, no matter what, even if promise to give him treat, he also won't listen 1. it's like, when someone is angry, he cannot hear anything! and then when he can listen, he tends to forget it the next time he throw tantrum again.hahah.

Smurf,

This where the patience and love comes in. Always remind him. Since you know he will throw tantrum, try not to do anything that will agitate him.

Tell you 1 thing, you will laugh at me for being so childish. When my son was about 3 or 4yrs old. He kept asking me something( too long ago cant remember what he wanted ), I refuse to give him. He will jump and jump and pull and keep pestering me. How will I react? Lucky no one is home that time. I also pull and pull and jump and jump and pester him and do some funny faces that looks so silly and childish. He did so I will do the same. At first he was very angry but soon he laughs. each time he does it, I will do the same thing. Very childish but very fun to see them feeling so lost. Dont know what to do to the mother. HAHAHA....

Just to lighten your mood.

I know you and your boy will make it. Anyway its part and puzzle of growing up. Soon he will out grown this behaviour.

Relax, wkend coming!!!!! Enjoy. :celebrate:

[smurf]

hey san76,


I did that too! hahah. when nobody is looking lah.yah, he would be like laughing after angry.

but hor, quite difficult to stop tantrum, cos when he goes supermart, he sees sweets and biscuits, he will ask to buy this buy that. and if i said no, his pattern comes out. and now it extends to other things not only sweets. he thinks I print money! hahha.

anyway, thanks for your 'story'. must really try very very hard not to lose my temper.hee. :roll:

[MLR]

Hiya smurf


After reading thru the previous posts in this thread, u mentioned that such behaviour came after 2nd child comes along. Sibling jealousy comes to mind, may i suggest that while talking to him, also add in that he is now big brother and has to act properly/set good example, not acting so childishly (but this has to be in a positive tone, not the reprimanding or lecturing tone). Also explain to him that by him behaving is really a great help to you. You could also do this as Addoil has suggest when you put him to bed. If you are not the one who put him to bed, maybe you can include it into the nightly routine and this can help foster stronger bond with him and instill a sense of security in him about your relationship, making him feel that bb is not taking you away from him.

At his age, he is more self aware and would want to feel good about himself and also to you. Always get him to help you in attending to his sibling, heaps loads of praise whenever he help you out. It can be very troublesome and cause more trouble than actual help, but involve him like helping you get a tissue to wipe baby’s mouth, fetch bb’s toys, even asking him to sing a song for bb, etc. After awhile, he may do it without you asking and forgot about being self-centred, reducing tantrums and headaches for you.

I m a first born and when growing up, i was very involved in looking after my 2 yrs younger sister and 9 yrs younger brother. I used to wonder why am i the only one around that is doing this (thats when in primary school and my school mates don’t hv to go home and help out in houseworks, my sister’s homework, feed my little brother), and my mom told me that bcos i m very special and was a gift to her in helping her raise my siblings. Maybe back than children are more naive (at least i was), but i really totally believed her and think its my job to be a good example to my siblings and i grew up with lots of self confidence and strong sense of identity. Which i found later in working life, is very useful to hv strong sense of confidence and also leadership quality that has been instilled in me by my mom since young. I m also a very stubborn type of person (quite similar to your boy), but that is a useful quality if you help him channel it in the right direction.

Take a deep breathe thru your nose and hold it for 10 secs before exhaling it forcefully thru you mouth whenever you feel like you are going to explode. This breathing technique always help me to calm down b4 i feel like i am going to yell/scream my lung out anf hv a heart attack.

Hope this helps and hang in there…

[san76]

smurf:

hey san76,


I did that too! hahah. when nobody is looking lah.yah, he would be like laughing after angry.

but hor, quite difficult to stop tantrum, cos when he goes supermart, he sees sweets and biscuits, he will ask to buy this buy that. and if i said no, his pattern comes out. and now it extends to other things not only sweets. he thinks I print money! hahha.
:roll:

Smurf ,

Since you know you are going to the supermarket, tell him what \"we\" need to buy from the supermarket and get him involve. Discuss what you need to buy. Eg, fish meat and vege. Maybe some canned food. Tell him these are the things \"we\" need to buy and not others. You will also tell him you bring just enough money to for your food. Just show him you didnt bring much. Keep extra money in another compartment. Also tell him all the cards in your wallet are spoilt. \"We have to rush home to cook, no time for shopping or the food will turn bad\".

When you are there, observe him and try avoid the sweets department.
Have a habit to buy then go back, if you feels that he should deserve something, bring him there and say, now you are a good boy, pick a small item and that will be yours.

If he really makes noise, tell him to pick something that is good food like a small box of cereal, coco pop, fruit loops, etc. These are so much better than sweets and biscuits.

Try, try. Patience ok.....

[smurf]

Hi MLR,


thanks for the advice!

he used to threw tantrum when younger before 2nd one came out. but it's 'milder', like maybe for few minutes and stop after we explained to him why why. but after 2nd one was born, I couldn;t manage his tantrum to the point that I want to throw him out! :x

I think he is jealously definitely. On some occasions, he will hurt his brother. for example, just now, he was sitting on the chair (table height) eating, then he took a plastic toy (not very light, but not very heavy either, semi plastic), bb was sitting on the floor playing just next to his chair. he took the toy, reached out his hand (with the toy), and playfully drop the toy, needless to say, the toy dropped on bb. bb cried. he seemed happy and satisfied.and before he dropped the toy, he saw me and he KNEW I was looking at him.

I was so furious and used something to beat his hand (the hand which held the toy). I said too him that I very sad...etc.

Told him many times not to hurt di di but he doesn't seems to understand or remember.

anothe rquestion is, what to do when a child keeps hurting the siblings?


have to constantly remind him, but few minutes later, he still do it again. :stupid:

yah, I used to engage him in helping me. but he doesn't want. for example, when I asked him to take a tissue while I'm busy, he will take ages to take the tissue, he will 'nuan' on the sofa, floor etc and then reluctantly go and take the tissue. but one thing he likes to see is I pretend to be angry with him, then he will smile cheekily. i think he is very mischievious. he wants attention, he doesn't care if he helps or dun helps, he just want attention. :roll:

[smurf]

Hi san76,


hmm, the sweet compartment is just at most cashier counters leh.hard to avoid. it’s only when we pay money then he said he want sweets. usually I just avoid going to the sweets and confectionery ‘lane’.

oh, he believed me when I said I dun have money, but he still will ask me again and again to buy.hmm, sometimes, I wonder if he understand or just want to whine and whine to irritate me. :x