Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce
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insider:
Fully agreed! I'm always getting myself prepared should things turn ugly in my own marriage. And I think with the current relationship with my MIL and SIL, quite sure they will start to bad-mouth me should my marriage with DH turns anything near sour. It'll definitely benefit them if their son and brother comes back to 'help' them.Ladies, pls have a good idea / concept of who exactly a Mum In Law is...
The older generation of mums In Law - 9 out of 10 will side their own child, be it son or daughter, no matter under what kind of circumstances (can even include murder!).
Should always read up on signs and signals when your man strays. By equipping with knowledge, it's easier to nip 'it' at its bud rather than to go through a full-blown affair. Typically at the affair's infancy stage, it's much easier to heal.
There are many many signs when a man or woman strays and it's not wise to ignore those signs thinking that it's normal to i.e. spouse says very tired for intimacy, wife/husband dressing/smelling better, spouse completely possessive over their mobile phones, wife/husband's changed of taste in wardrobe, spouse got to work later and later, sometimes saturdays included etc etc.
Anyway, fortune-telling did help alot too when it comes to certain predictions lar... At least DH and I gear ourselves towards defending our marriage territory. So we kinda watching each other's backs. -
Emelyn,
Be neutral infront of everyone. Now your Sis in law needs your support. During this time, you will also have to help her to be independant. She cant be just crying and soon she will develop depression subconsciously.
Ask what she wants to do now, divorce, forgive or what? No matter what she must seek proper advise. If she didnt have any income, she can seek legal aid for help and assistance.
Guess now you are so tired and wornout too. Take care of yourself. Happy holiday
:celebrate: -
The other day, DH was telling me about his sis. Said that his sis was not involved in the hubby’s new car purchase, she doesn’t even know what colour the car is.
I said, yeah… the hubby also not involved in the preparation for the daughter’s overseas study. All done by the sister. Not sure if he was even consulted at all.
DH said … so strange hor. like both living separate lives. Do you think we will be like that next time ?
I said… we have to make sure that we are not like that lor.
To me, both parties have to work together to make the marriage work and last. -
insider:
yes, it is true. in the end parents and children are the closest. I won't expect any MIL to take the DIL's side. In the end I believe, we will forgive and love our own children no matter what. But it is another matter to add to the injury of the poor DIL when their sons are the one who did the unforgivable...Ladies, pls have a good idea / concept of who exactly a Mum In Law is...
The older generation of mums In Law - 9 out of 10 will side their own child, be it son or daughter, no matter under what kind of circumstances (can even include murder!).
Hopefully my son won't do such things when he grow up and hopefully I can be fair and supportive to the wronged party if such things happen. -
hi, I am new here. I saw so many of you have so much problem with ur wife and husband.
If any is interest to get a PI or Private Investigator; I have a very good one to recommend. -
margret2009:
Hi and welcome to KSP.hi, I am new here. I saw so many of you have so much problem with ur wife and husband.
If any is interest to get a PI or Private Investigator; I have a very good one to recommend.
I think you are mistaken. The \"stories\" here are not ours but of people we know and would like to help. Generally, we have no problems with our families. Thank you for your concern though. It would help if you read through all the posts in this thread carefully. -
Hi there!
I'm a newbie here
And am in need of some advice...
My wife of close to 20 years cheated on me (discovered 2 years ago). I was then devastated and was in a confused state and felt betrayed. In my fit, I hit her and broke her nose (I lived to regret that action uptill this day). My children witnessed the whole encounter and I must say I felt pain that it turned out that way.
Just last week, I discovered that my wife had a few condoms in her handbag... I was shocked though not as angry as I was 2 yrs back. This time IF I discover that she had again strayed, I would file for a divorce; only problem is that I do not want to do so till my kids have turned 21 (and thats some 7-8 years time).
I read in an earlier posting that if I can prove my wife's adultery, then i would not have to pay her maintenance (less children as I know if she gets custody, I would have to maintain the children). Will she be entitled to my savings, pension?
I also read that a PI can cost some $800/day. That's a steep sum... Are there other alternatives?
IF my wife can agree to sign a document to agree to not contest for maintenance nor any part of my wealth, will this be legal in 8 years time?
Should I start seeing a lawyer to better appreciate my options?
Many thanks for the patience and for the answers... -
schellen:
Hahaha you are like the mummy of the forum protecting her little kids >>> us!!! LOL
Hi and welcome to KSP.margret2009:
hi, I am new here. I saw so many of you have so much problem with ur wife and husband.
If any is interest to get a PI or Private Investigator; I have a very good one to recommend.
I think you are mistaken. The \"stories\" here are not ours but of people we know and would like to help. Generally, we have no problems with our families. Thank you for your concern though. It would help if you read through all the posts in this thread carefully. -
BlueOcean:
Hi BlueOcean,Hi there!
I'm a newbie here
And am in need of some advice...
IF I discover that she had again strayed, I would file for a divorce; only problem is that I do not want to do so till my kids have turned 21 (and thats some 7-8 years time).
Will she be entitled to my savings, pension?
I also read that a PI can cost some $800/day. That's a steep sum... Are there other alternatives?
IF my wife can agree to sign a document to agree to not contest for maintenance nor any part of my wealth, will this be legal in 8 years time?
Should I start seeing a lawyer to better appreciate my options?
Many thanks for the patience and for the answers...
I am really so sorry to hear this. There are many things that cause the breakdown in the relationship. The problem maybe you or her or both. Look carefully or get a third party to advise. No bias.
PI- need not to be $800 a day? Just seek for the right one and ask around for more price option and see what they can offer.
If, she really strayed and you have all the edvidence etc... Then file for separation first. Maybe someday you can forgive her.
You are not at any wrong doing to this marriage. You are safe to keep the money and all asset to yourself. Now is divorce and separation. So long she didnt contribute to all your asset, she cant have a share unless prove of her contribution.
Under woman's charter, all woman have the rights to be maintenanced by husband, unless she is capable or have another family.
Let me tell you 1 thing, now your kids saw all these happenings, please sit down with them and talk it out. Explain yourself to them and the entire happening. They have the rights to know. If you dont tell them, they will ask their friends and things will go hay wire somedays.
Dont swear or say anything bad about their mom, Just tell them the fact that this marriage is upset and is coming to an end. Secure them that you will never leave them and make sure you are there for them when they needed you. Dont care about 8 or 9 years time. Now if you dont clear the air, they wont be happy.
If you apply for separation, pls get edvidence and file with it. This way there is no way to contest. Let your wife stay in the same home but different room. The kids will still get to see the mom and dad. Think about it. Once the separation is filed, you have no rights to interfere what she is doing etc.... Can you do it? Never lay hands on her again. She cant bring any man home though she agreed going with the separation.
The most painful person is not you or wife, they are the kids. You really have to tell them the true then hiding from them. Each time the kids sense that you both are unhappy, you can see from their face too.
Think carefully.
Take care.
San76 -
ZacK:
Hahaha you are like the mummy of the forum protecting her little kids >>> us!!! LOL
Aiyoh, you make me sound like old auntie like that. I'm not that old, you know. :roll:
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