How to toilet train children

[atrecord]

Every child is different in all aspects - that’s life. Some talks early, some walks early, some toilet train early, etc.


I’ve read articles in my PD’s clinic at TMC before that experts suggest not to (over)pressure and push kids into toilet-training if they are not yet ready. It might just psychologically frighten the kids more.

As DW and i have both been working, we couldn’t consientiously try to toilet train DD and DS, and let my mum help in her old method. They were able to go pee in the day before 2 yo, and also poo shortly after. As for the night, we monitored their timing and woke them up in the night to pee just before they would normally do so on the diapers (while the diaper is still being worn), and after a couple mth then took them off it. DS was faster as he could learn from elder sis, and he likes to match up to her…

But DS recently had 2 ‘accidents’ at night. He said he’s too tired so didn’t wake up to pee…

[autumnbronze]

I agree that different children progress/develope differently.


I started 'psyching' DS when he was 18 mths. Actually on hindsight, I should have started earlier, when he was able to sit ard 6 mths or so (as per advised by my mom as there would be less resistance encountered), but I didn't want to rush into this. Then when I felt he was ready, I would talk and show him how 'big people' went to the bathroom to pee pee. And from the time training started, he began to wear underwear. He was initially resistant when I brought him to the small potty, but I never pushed him. I left him alone for some time, then tried again at designated times like after he woke up, after breakfast etc ....

But somehow, the children's potty never appealed to him. He was only able to pee once, thats it.

Then I switched to him pee-ing in the shower area. He seemed to be comfortable with that. Then gradually, he graduated to the big potty (with the child seat attached).

But he was still hesitant in poo-ing in the big potty. So again, I allowed him to do it in the shower and would clean up after him. And soon enough he moved on to the big potty eventually.

The biggest challenge then was to remind myself to ask him every 2 hrs or so whether he wanted to pee (can forget one). But he is able to articulate now even when we go out. Nowadays, it has progressed to reminding him of the importance of hygiene (esp in sch, where I cannot keep an eye on him).

We've had 'accidents' too, along this journey of self-control and self-awareness. He has pee-ed in the flat and the car seat a few times and I once had to stop mid-way while driving for him to \"water the grass\" (DS's exact words).

As for night training, once he had mastered articulating that he needed \"to go now now now\" and settled down in pre-sch, I then psyched him again a few times b4 I did away with the pampers completely. In fact, one day, he just told me out of the blue that he was ready to sleep without the pampers.

During this period, I did not wake him up in the night cuz I wanted to do it the 'cold turkey' way as I was afraid that it might be yet another hard habit to break thereafter. So I just stopped giving him water 20 mins b4 bed-time, tell him a story, let him go have a last pee (even if he has \"no pee pee in his kidneys\", I still keep up with the routine) and tuck him to bed, reminding him to call out for me when he has to pee. I use incol sheets and a mattress protector. When the bedsheet gets wet, I remove them and air the mattress.

There have been 'accidents', but few and far between. I do not reprimand him, I just treat the incident lightly and remind him firmly that he must wake up and call out for me and makes sure he acknowledges. In the past, I noticed that he tend to wet the bed early in the morning, when he was half awake. But recently, I have noted that he is able to call out and we run to the bathroom together.

Some tips:

1. A potty book a day will hasten success in potty training :lol:
Borrow books on potty training from the library. Read them to him so that they 'get a feel' of what to expect during the training. Or you can invest in one like I did. The one I bought contains a step by step book, magnetic reward chart, parents's guide and progress diary. Get your child involved so that every time he is successful in his task, give him the the honour of putting up a star on the reward chart. Here are some pictures:

http://postimage.org/image/yqcjzv44/

http://postimage.org/image/y5hq4l8k/

http://postimage.org/image/y5l17a84/

http://postimage.org/image/2qr0yj1pg/

2. Patience is a virtue, is it not
Don't push your child if he is not ready. Don't set a DEAD-line for yourself or worse, for him as to when he has to be completely trained, but rather a START-line would be more ideal. It makes the both of you look forward to the 'project.' Make a big deal about it, when he is seated on his potty for the first time. Snap pixs or film the episode and cheer encouragingly when he completes his task. Later, show him the pixs and reflect back upon his action and praise him for \"doing a good job.\"

3. Accidents do happen so 'let sleeping dogs lie'
Treat the 'accidents' as part and parcel of the training and explain the rationale for going to the bathroom. Assure him that after some time, when he becomes more self-aware, he will be able to articulate when he has the urge. Loads of hugs and encouragement would help at this point.

4. Repetitive reminders
Just recently, DS pee-ed in his pants during one of his enrichment class. He was clearly embarrassed and I felt for him. So I just held his hand gently and brought him to the bathroom to change and asked him nicely why did he do that. He replied that \"teacher XXX was busy with another pupil so I control, but cannot control hard.\" I was actually pleasantly surprised at his reasoning, but I blamed myself for not reminding him that no matter what, he has to inform the teacher so that she can bring him to the bathroom.

5. Flexibility is the key to successful toilet training
If he doesn't want to do it in the small potty, what about the shower area then? Yes, its inconvenient, but one got to do what one got to do if you want your child to be toilet trained. Then slowly, you can progress to the potty.

6. Role model anyone?
Good if Daddy (for DS) can step in and take over once in a while to model similar behaviour. As my DS is close to him, he naturally wants to emulate what daddy does too.

7. Make a date to meet up in the morning and don't miss it or be late
Make it a point to bring him to the bathroom at a designated time to poo. My DS does it in the morning without fail after his breakfast - it has become a habit.

I am aware that potty training is conducted in pre-schs and CC, but please bear in mind that you still have to monitor them because of bad practices. Ultimately, you would want your child to imbibe your good habits too, no??:D For instance, I have had to remind DS not to let his his 'birdie' touch the urinal when pee-ing in school because it is not hygienic. Also, teachers have to mind other kids too, so may not be able to be consistent (unintentionally, I believe) in reminding them about bathroom etiquette.

To sum up, repetition and consistency - 2 nouns - don't forget them during this period :lol:

These are some of my observations and experiences and they may not be comprehensive. I am certainly not an expert as I believe that parenting is a learning journey and one becomes 'seasoned' through trial and error. But I do hope that some of the information provided will be of some help.

[atrecord]

Just remembered: for those who detests cleaning/clearing up the potty after big biz, what we did was to lay toilet paper inside first, before we got the kids to sit on it when they have the urge to poo. And since most of the time their poo is hard, it is not messy, so just need to pour the ‘stuff’ into the toilet when done, preferably with a spray, if you have one. be careful not to splash, of course.

[sunset_dae]

I guess im a lucky one, one day my 3 year old son told me that he is a big kor kor already and he doesnt want to wear diaper to bed. I was skeptical initally and keep asking him to wear because I dont want to wake up in the middle of the night to clean the bed! He assured me he wont wet the bed and true enough he didnt!

[baglady]

Hi autumnbronze, thanks for the sharing and helpful tips!


I’ve been trying to get my boy to use the potty for the past few months. Sometimes successful, sometimes impossible… He’s turning 2 next week and still in pull-ups. He doesn’t mind sitting on potty to poo and we always praise him when he does it. But somehow he doesnt like to pee there. I feel quite frustrated at times but don’t want to scold him as I think it just make it worse. Sigh.

I read about some toilet training methods that supposed to be 100% guarantee. ANyone tried before?

[Swit Cuppies]

My kid is just starting to be toilet trained.In a week, a few minor accidents have happened.

But now he is ok as he managed to control his urine.
It took him a week to understand that he needs to go toilet to wee wee n put put…but the only thing is that he doesnt want to seat on the toilet seat lah…what am i supposed to do? Anyone?

[DesertWind]

Hi all,


I just want to share that my 3 yr 3 mths old boy is finally potty-trained for the past one week!
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:
You just can't believe how relief I was when my maid told me he was able to poo into the potty for 2 days straight (after lunch) and then after that, whenever he felt like peeing or pooing (even very little bit), my boy will go straight to take the potty and ask for help to remove the underwear and then sat down on the potty to do his business!

I thought this day would never come!
(Because maid had trained him to sit on potty since 1yo but after a bout of bad diarhreoh he refused to sit on potty for the next 2 years! And his teacher has been toilet-training him on & off for the past many months to no avail.)

And co-incidentally (or not so coincidentally), I signed up for the Toilet-training workshop conducted by the Health Promotion Board (Outram) two weeks ago and attended the 3-hr workshop together with my maid. My husband specifically took time off to stay with my boy in the afternoon so that the maid could also attend.

I was initially sceptical how can the workshop help because I have already read so much about toilet training and we have been trying as well. But then, I must say it REALLY HELPs! In understanding the various ways of toilet-training and also hearing the real-life sharing from the very experienced Occupational Therapist and the stories from the other parents!

I took away the following thoughts which have been very helpful to me:

1. That if the child is not ready ie. not understanding the use of potty or toilet, or cannot control his bowels/urine, or cannot communicate his need to go, parents can try but perhaps it is best to give it some time before trying again ie. when the child is ready, it should be much easier to toilet-train!

2. That routine and persistence is the key and to set a routine will take at least 3 weeks!

3. Method 1 of toilet training - the \"Watch & Catch\" method involves observing the time when the kid show signs of wanting to pee/poo, quickly bring him to the potty / toilet!

Method 2 involves setting a \"Regular Routine\" of every 2 hourly bringing the kid to the toilet and asking him to pee. For pooing, observe the time of the day when the kid is most likely to poo and then start sitting him at the potty at the same time each day. If nothing comes out after 10 mins, try again after 15 mins or so. Don't make the kid sit at the potty for one hour because us adults also don't do that right?

Method 3 - \"Intensive Training\" involves bringing the kid to the toilet every half-an-hour after making the kid drink more water or eat bowel-moving food like banana / vegetables!

After the session, my maid started making my boy to sit on the potty after coming back from school and surprising my boy no longer hated the potty and threw it around! He sat nicely and pooed. I was amazed! Then she made him sit every 2 hourly and asked him to pee which sometimes he did, sometimes didn't. For peeing, sometimes she will bring him to the shower area. So we used method 1 & 2 - watch and catch plus routine!

But after about a week or so, suddenly my boy just seems to get it! :love:
He will go take the potty at the slightest sensation and sat on it and do it!

So apart from saving on the diapers cost (which he is already wearing XXXL!) , he is well on his way to independence and already accomplished one of the most important milestone for this year!

(Actually at night he is still on diapers and on outings we still put him in diapers so there is still work to be done on the toilet-training lah!).

So ya, to all parents who are toilet training your kid and finding you have some problems, I suggest and fully recommend you sign up for the Toilet-Training workshop by HPB (costs about SGD65 for 2 adults to attend without child!). The sharing and benefits could be tremendous!
:celebrate:

[DesertWind]

A very good thing that came out of our weekend trip to Bintan resort is the toilet-training part for my 3 yo boy! From the time we reached the Ferry terminal in Singapore, we brought him into the toilet to pee immediately and thereafter almost every hourly. In the ferry once we saw that it was about one hour already and he has been drinking water, we brought him to the ferry toilet. Upon reaching the resort we immediately brought him into the lobby toilet to \"Shee....shee\".


He now knows how to say \"I want to Shee...Shee\" which is good because away from home, the potty is not there for him to take! After 3 days of this and actually sitting on the toilet to pee & poo instead of using the potty, he is now used to it such that when we came back home, he is much more receptive to sitting in the toilet now instead of the potty!

Only 1 \"accident' happened during our 3 days vacation, which was on the 2nd day after I noticed in the evening he has not pooed and wanted to put him on the toilet in the room, I got diverted and in the next 5 mins, he actually pooed in his underwear standing in front of the TV! He watched until he forgot to tell us he wanted to go \"shee...shee\".

Still it was not too bad for our first outing together away from home.
Good boy! :love:

[Just4Good]

Istill remember when I was younger. My grandpa always trains me to pee by always saying: shiiiii or something like that.

[Starrydust]

i started my boy for toilet training since a year ago.. in fact tried a few times, but always not successful.


finally, decided.. enough is enough,almost 3 and still wearing diapers. so i start to \"brain-wash\" him Told him he is a big boy already, asked if his other friends in the childcare centres wear diapers.. etc... all the questions i know that will point to him as \"different\" cos he is till wearing a diaper..

and suddenly on the day itself, he will go to toilet himself.. :celebrate:
then within the next 3 days, even in school, when we go to market, we have no problems.. no diapers needed at all.....
HAHA.. think we just have to wait till he is comfortable and then psycho a bit

But he still cannot poo poo without diapers, 3 days without going :?:
any \"tricks\" to help him?