If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?
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Trapwithin:
Yes, very true, my hubbie only has 2 other siblings compared to mine (i have 5 other siblings) and sometimes the financial burden on him is a lot and also emotionally esp after his dad passed on, we want to be around a lot more for his mom..I am now thinking of having another one but oldest is already 8..hmm still need to think it through but for me, if we can afford, we definitely want another child :love:Actually .. another good benefit of having more kids can be seen 25 yrs down the road.
As our kids get married and get busy with their own lives, they will tend to bond with their siblings more than friends. Partly due to the Asian culture of visiting our parents/parents-in-law more regularly than meeting friends. So siblings get closer after they get married and have kids
The other benefits is support.
As we grow older and physically gets more challenging, having more kids help to share the emotional burden.
Most of us, would prob be planning for retirement and old age, so I assume we will be more financially independent.
Despite not putting the financial stress on our kids, emotional stress can sometime be very challenging if we only have 1 child.
Just some food for thoughts -
MMM:
I have been through some of those mentioned above, that's why I have those \"food for thoughts\".
I agree with you in the case of my hubby's family. My pils have 5 kids while I am the only child. My hubby is the only son and he is one of the youngest so they stay with us.Trapwithin:
Actually .. another good benefit of having more kids can be seen 25 yrs down the road.
As our kids get married and get busy with their own lives, they will tend to bond with their siblings more than friends. Partly due to the Asian culture of visiting our parents/parents-in-law more regularly than meeting friends. So siblings get closer after they get married and have kids
The other benefits is support.
As we grow older and physically gets more challenging, having more kids help to share the emotional burden.
Most of us, would prob be planning for retirement and old age, so I assume we will be more financially independent.
Despite not putting the financial stress on our kids, emotional stress can sometime be very challenging if we only have 1 child.
Just some food for thoughts
This is what we do as a family :
* My sils visit our place once a month. So all the nieces and nephews get to meet up regularly. Everyone will prepare some food. We will chat,etc...
* We try to do family holidays together where possible. Sometimes might not be all families but probably with some of them.
* Starting from few months back, we play badminton on a weekly basis with 2 of my sils' family. We didn't include the other 2 families because one stayed too far while the other had young child to take care of. We will book the courts and invite them weekly so long as we can secure the courts. We see this as a opportunity for us to exercise together.
* When fil had a ops few months back. This was the 1st time it happened in the family, the entire family was there to support each other. Though it was a small ops, all of us were there to help to make decisions on whether he should do it. The family support was just so strong that it made me reflect on myself because I am the only child. I was wondering if something happened to my parents, I would have to make the tough calls alone with my hubby. So the close relationship in my hubby's family really helps. It's great that my parents are also treated as part of the extended family since we do trips together.
With that, I really appreciate my hubby's family. I think it's good that though we are close, we are all MYOB type so we managed to keep that balance. We've 3 kids and yes, it's noisy (when they start quarrelling), stressful (when they go to P1) and me time is little. But they are all very different and I think no regrets. In our case, it just happened.
But if you asked me what about 4th child... I would say... :dowan: There is enough stress for me.
Personally, I would like to have at least 3. But after waiting ages for the 1st one and the 2nd one not happening after even more \"ages\", I guess I will have to settle for one.
So I always strongly encourage people to have 3 .. or at least 2.
Though not a fair call, considering I have more than one kid before.
Friends always joked about having
1 Child .... parents cope well
2 children ... parents struggle
3 children .. parents will be flat out
4 children .... No comment on parents .. but ALL friends
:udaman: :udawoman:
:celebrate: -
jasmineong:
Never too late.
Yes, very true, my hubbie only has 2 other siblings compared to mine (i have 5 other siblings) and sometimes the financial burden on him is a lot and also emotionally esp after his dad passed on, we want to be around a lot more for his mom..I am now thinking of having another one but oldest is already 8..hmm still need to think it through but for me, if we can afford, we definitely want another child :love:Trapwithin:
Actually .. another good benefit of having more kids can be seen 25 yrs down the road.
As our kids get married and get busy with their own lives, they will tend to bond with their siblings more than friends. Partly due to the Asian culture of visiting our parents/parents-in-law more regularly than meeting friends. So siblings get closer after they get married and have kids
The other benefits is support.
As we grow older and physically gets more challenging, having more kids help to share the emotional burden.
Most of us, would prob be planning for retirement and old age, so I assume we will be more financially independent.
Despite not putting the financial stress on our kids, emotional stress can sometime be very challenging if we only have 1 child.
Just some food for thoughts
I have a friend whose kids are 8 yrs apart.
The older sibling can also help to take care of the little sibling. -
Trapwithin:
I feel that kids also involved the allocation of limited resources. No one will say... yes, I've unlimited resources ($). I've friends who only have 1 child. They can afford to send their kids to the best preschool, enrichment centres and is able to dedicate their time to the child.... But imagine if you have 2 or more... then you probably got to spread the resources among all kids.Friends always joked about having
1 Child .... parents cope well
2 children ... parents struggle
3 children .. parents will be flat out
4 children .... No comment on parents .. but ALL friends
:udaman: :udawoman:
:celebrate:
But in your case... sometimes it's beyond us on the number of kids we will get. It took me 2 years to conceive the 1st child. It just never happen. We have a friend who got married 1 year before us and just got their 1st child last year. If she had conceived earlier, her 1st child is probably P4 now. So sometimes we really need to count our blessings. -
mrswongtuition:
Did I mention before? My hubs wants to get a BUS LICENSE... WHY? So that we can have a TEAM of kids!
:!:
You didn't mention how many seater-bus-kind that he wants to
get after successfully getting that license, mrswongtuition... :evil: -
buds:
For a moment, I thought our hubs have the same inspiration.mrswongtuition:
Did I mention before? My hubs wants to get a BUS LICENSE... WHY? So that we can have a TEAM of kids!
:!:
You didn't mention how many seater-bus-kind that he wants to
get after successfully getting that license, mrswongtuition... :evil:
We currently have a 7 seater and hubby is thinking of a 8 seater in 5 years time. However, I know deep down he would be happy if we can have a car that can accomodate 10 (including my parents and his).
So we always joke that the next car will be a mini passenger van like school bus uncle???? -
How To Get To Sesame Street?
Once there was a bus from Sesame Street with some very strange characters.
First there was the muscular identical twins whose names were both Pattie. Next there was an extraordinary man dubbed \"Special Ross\". After that there was a hefty, overweight man with puffy cheeks nicknamed \"Leonard Cheeks\".
Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they picked.
How do we describe this bus?
\"Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin' bunions, on a Sesame Street bus!\"
:oops: -
janet_lee88:
Can I dream please ........
Darling, it's already so expensive living here now. It will get worse as time goes. Don't think it's affordable to have 5 kids...even if your son is willing, his wife may not be.kiddo:
If I can start all over again I will have 5 .......DH also want more ....
cos Children are a real blessings.............
But how to live and work in 2 country before, have an overseas education,
enjoy your career and still have 5 kids............dreaming ?
maybe my only one DS can have 5 instead
-
buds:
He said that he wants to buy those 24 seater bus!!!mrswongtuition:
Did I mention before? My hubs wants to get a BUS LICENSE... WHY? So that we can have a TEAM of kids!
:!:
You didn't mention how many seater-bus-kind that he wants to
get after successfully getting that license, mrswongtuition... :evil:
And he really went to check out prices and even how to go about purchasing one (very tedious)!
However, I told him, he can afford the bus, but can he afford a house big enough for all of us? & his reply: BUY LAND IN BATAM THEN TAKE FERRY EVERYDAY.
I think he is :siao: -
Trapwithin:
True, true older one will be much more able to handle sibling rivalry too..
Never too late.
I have a friend whose kids are 8 yrs apart.
The older sibling can also help to take care of the little sibling.
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