If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?

[janet88]

Hey kiddo,

Sorry to wake you up from your sweet dreams.
We just got a 7 seater as the kids are growing bigger and can now accomodate parents as well.

[mrswongtuition]

jasmineong:

Trapwithin:

Never too late.
I have a friend whose kids are 8 yrs apart.
The older sibling can also help to take care of the little sibling.

True, true older one will be much more able to handle sibling rivalry too..

My sis & I are 8 years apart.
What 'mothering duties' do I have?

1. Collect my sis' report books from her form teachers when my mum is busy.
2. Run up to Pri school when she called to cry about the dental nurse wanting to do a filling for her (need some drilling). Had to assure her (by letting the dental nurse do MY filling), then sat with her.
3. Give her pocket money (out of my own pocket) when she does not have enough.
4. Bring her to clinic when she's sick.
5. Fetch her to & fro school.
6. Help her do projects.
7. Bring her shopping (with my mum's money of cos!).
8. Coach her on homework.

Good in a way that my mum does not have to worry much about her.
Bad in a way that my mum is already so old but still working cos worried that my sis can't study well and may need overseas education.

But, I would admit, my sis is very spoilt by my elder brother and me.
We remembered what we wanted at different stages of growing up and ensured that she has exactly what kids would want at different ages.
At P1, on her first day of school, my bro and I bought her fanciful mechanical pencils.
Throughout her Pri school years, she is the one among all her friends and classmates to have the latest stuff.
At S1, we got her a new handphone (at that time, the Walkman phone was the 'latest' phone).
At S2, my bro bought her an iPod. Subsequently, as new models came out, he kept 'upgrading' her iPod with the newer models.
Recently, we asked her if she wanted an iPhone but she rejected the offer. She was afraid to spoil it. She only wanted an iPod Touch, which she got the next day after mentioning it.

However, we do discipline her too.
Now, she's on vacation and she's working for me, to help me print and file up the worksheets for 2011. I pay her market rates but I deposit into her account which she cannot spend without permission as she is already recieving a large sum of allowance from my mum every month.


It's good to have kids with slightly larger age gap - if you had your first one very young.

[janet88]

Hi mrswongtuition,

Thanks for giving us a frank opinion/'responsibilty' as a much older sibling. Your sister is very fortunate to have such caring older siblings and from what you mentioned, she is not spoilt despite having so many goodies. :celebrate:

[MMM]

jasmineong:

Trapwithin:

Never too late.
I have a friend whose kids are 8 yrs apart.
The older sibling can also help to take care of the little sibling.

True, true older one will be much more able to handle sibling rivalry too..

Actuallly I think it depends on individual.

My nephews are 8 years apart. We would catch my the older ones bullying his younger brother eg. kicking him etc... when he was younger.

I've another ex-colleague, she related to us that she has a big gap with her brother too. At least 7-8 type. When mum is not looking, we would bully him by pinching,etc... she just hated her brother because she was the only child for so many years and suddenly had to share the attention with her brother.

[janet88]

There was a case in UK where the older sibling killed his younger brother. He hated his younger brother bcos his mother focused her attention on him, leaving her tired and unable to spend time with older child. They were 12 years apart.


I heard of another incident where the older brother (7 years apart) who would pinch or push his younger bro when he thinks no one is watching.
In front of his parents, he would appear caring.

[cantbearit2]

When I was a kid, I nv felt the need for siblings. I've got all my mom's love (single parent) and nv need to share things with others.


However, as I aged (as my mom aged), I actually wished for more family support like my cousin's family. When my uncle had a stroke, all 3 cousins (fighting constantly as kids) came together to plan for my uncle. When my aunt had a stroke as well, again they came together to plan on the logistics, hospital visits, medication, bills etc.....I was v touched.

My mom is getting older N her body starts giving her all sorts of prob which are common ailments associated with age. Thus I start worrying about her health. However, I can only discuss with my DH as I have no siblings. Now I really wish I have a brother or sister.

Thus, DH & I decided to have more than 1 child fr the time we decided to have kids. Now we have 3 wonderful kids and no regrets (even with the constant noise at hm, constant drain of energy, constant deprivation of sleep, constant $$$ flying out to enrichment ctr & milk powder co.). We cannot imagine life without them.

[milktea]

Yes if younger… but now no energy for no. 3

[buds]

I'm not a spring chicken no more either! Weh!

[buds]

\"If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?\"


:idea: Errrr..... i honestly didn't know i still could... so i didn't decide on
my #3... Apparently, it was already decided for me. . :idea:

[MMM]

buds:

\"If you could, would you decide on a 3rd child?\"


:idea: Errrr..... i honestly didn't know i still could... so i didn't decide on
my #3... Apparently, it was already decided for me. . :idea:

Yes true.... I wonder how many got their 3rd child without intentionally planning for it. :?

For us, the 3rd child came unexpectedly. I didn't even realise I was pregnant until I sort of realised that my period is late. We took precaution :? Sue the rubber maker as we are the 1%???

Anyway... she is a bundle of joy. Very different from her sibling. So maybe it's god's will for her to join the family.